Marriage Articles

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

Are You Humbly Voicing a Need or Formalizing a Complaint?

Are You Humbly Voicing a Need or Formalizing a Complaint?

In the beginning, after God had created Adam and placed him in the garden to cultivate it, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).

What Does Love and Respect Enable a Wife and Husband to Do?

What Does Love and Respect Enable a Wife and Husband to Do?

In the Bible, we find two realities to which we are to respond: God’s commands and God’s promises. God calls us to obey His commands and trust His promises. Most of us have sung the song "Trust and Obey,” which captures these two quintessential truths.

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

There are certain phrases we have been programmed to understand in a specific way whenever we hear them. For example, if someone says to us, “We need to talk,” we know there is bad news to come and we get in defensive mode.

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

Do you have a specific sports team that you are outright fanatic about? Suppose you are a passionate Yankees fan whose white bedroom walls have navy blue pinstripes on them and your living room coasters have pictures of Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, and other Yankees greats on them.

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

What is The Love and Respect System? Part I [Video]

What is The Love and Respect System? Part I [Video]

Over the next few days, I’m going to provide you with an overview of the Love and Respect system. This overview will teach you its basic principles and show you how applying them can improve your marriage as you understand the 3 cycles: The Crazy Cycle; The Energizing Cycle; The Rewarded Cycle

If a Husband Is Unrespectable Should a Wife Show Him Contempt and Disrespect? [Video]

If a Husband Is Unrespectable Should a Wife Show Him Contempt and Disrespect? [Video]

A woman asks, “How do you respect a man who has a habit of lying and going against everything the Word says. How does this work in an unequally yoked marriage? I have no respect for willful sin. I can respect free will choice, but not the sin and choices he makes to lead his family away from God.” The question you ask is a common one and I urge anyone who feels this way to read through what we have written in articles and in the book Love & Respect. They will discover that we never tell a wife to respect bad behavior.

Six Thank You Statements To Say To Your Spouse

Six Thank You Statements To Say To Your Spouse

In the book, Love & Respect, I spell “love” to a wife as C.O.U.P.L.E. and “respect” to a husband as C.H.A.I.R.S. Look at the list below and consider how you might express thankfulness to your spouse. As a wife, thank your husband for at least one of the ways he shows you love. As a husband, thank your wife for at least one of the ways she shows you respect.

And They Lived Happily Ever After...Not Necessarily [Video]

And They Lived Happily Ever After...Not Necessarily [Video]

One of our chief concerns at Love and Respect is not that people hear the message, important as that is, but that couples who attend a conference or read the book will go on to effectively practice love and respect in their daily lives. I realize each couple has this very same concern, of course. My heart goes out to those who tell me they “get it,” but aren’t able to consistently “stay with it.” They have learned that Love and Respect sounds simple, but it’s not so easy to do (maybe “unnatural” is a better phrase).