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Browse through and read hundreds of articles on the topic of marriage
Have you ever been asked to make a Christmas list and come up completely empty? Much more serious is voicing to your spouse the ways you believe he or she could show you more love or respect.
Does your spouse ever do or say something that really gets under your skin? I wonder, though, do some of us become resentful and unforgiving toward a spouse who never intended to hurt or offend us?
No two people will agree with each other all the time. Conflict doesn’t mean the marriage is in trouble, and disagreement doesn’t mean you married the wrong person.
You’ve likely heard me talk about “when the issue is no longer the issue.” What begins as a normal difference of opinion can quickly leave both spouses feeling unloved and completely disrespected.
Courtship and the first few months of marriage is a unique time in a couple’s relationship. We are usually focused on our partner’s strengths and rarely aware of the weaknesses or quirks that all of us have.
For many years I’ve shared the sentiment that “you can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.” This stemmed from a conversation I had with my wife, Sarah, one night as we were driving home from a small group meeting I was leading.
In my book Love & Respect, I wrote, "I sometimes get the question, ‘You say women need love and men need respect. Isn’t the opposite just as true? Don’t gals need respect and guys need love?’ My answer is, of course, women need respect and guys need love" (page 47).
A wife who wrote to me recognized that her husband’s suggestion to do something in a different way was rooted in his goodwill. As a result, she sought to apply a respectful demeanor in response to his suggestion, which motivated him to be more loving. Great news, right?
Some folks say, “I will love you as long as I feel love for you,” or “I will respect you as long as I feel respect for you, and I certainly won’t respect you if you have not earned it." But we need to step back for a moment.
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