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It’s amazing how often our search for answers to conflicts and situations we are dealing with in the twenty-first century ends up taking us back to the beginning of Genesis.
When a wife dares to share her hurt and negative feelings with her husband, she does so hoping he will humbly apologize and make efforts to do things more lovingly next time. Her goal in addressing her concerns is to get rid of her hurt, be energized, feel positive, and respond to him in caring ways.
A wife who has been married for twenty years to a loving, goodwilled husband and father (her words!) found herself suddenly struggling to understand how their relationship had gone south.
In a national study done years ago, four hundred men were asked to choose between one of two negative experiences: If you were forced to choose one of the following, which would you prefer to endure?
In part 1, we shared 1 Peter 3:1–2 and Peter’s command to a wife to remain respectful to her disobedient husband. The first major reason to do this is because by doing so they will find favor in the eyes of God.
Many couples use this simple exchange successfully when there is a sharp disagreement, and one spouse has stepped on the other spouse’s air hose. They have bought into the need for unconditional Love and Respect to the point where they are comfortable with this terminology. Here are two typical reports:
Issues between husband and wife can pop up anywhere over just about anything. For example, a couple gets in a discussion over their son’s poor grades. The wife wants the husband to spend more time with the boy and help him with his homework; the husband is under tremendous pressure at his job and is having to work a lot of overtime. He says there is no time to help.
In our love saturated culture, everyone understands and expects unconditional love. On the other hand, what is your reaction to the phrase “unconditional respect”? In 1 Peter 3:1,2 a wife is instructed that she can win her disobedient husband via her respectful behavior. These Scriptures say:
I have had people say that because in Ephesians 5:33a God first commands the husband to love his wife and then in Ephesians 5:33b God commands the wife to respect her husband, then a wife need only respect her husband AFTER he first loves her. They argue that the husband must move first because he is mentioned first. Do you believe this?
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