Marriage Articles

How Is C.H.A.I.R.S. The Key to Having More Meaningful Conversations With Your Husband?

What Do You Think When You Hear “Happy Wife, Happy Life”?

What Do You Think When You Hear “Happy Wife, Happy Life”?

You’ve probably heard the phrase “happy wife, happy life” before. Maybe it’s in the context of something simple, like choosing what restaurant to eat at or not leaving dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.

Why Does a Wife Not Hear That Her Husband Needs Respect?

Why Does a Wife Not Hear That Her Husband Needs Respect?

The idea of unconditional respect for the husband has always been the Love and Respect message’s unique feature, based on Ephesians 5:33. Many books stress Paul’s instruction for husbands to love their wives (“each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself . . .”), but few spend equal space if any at all, to the rest of the verse (“. . . and the wife must respect her husband”).

How Is C.H.A.I.R.S. The Key to Having More Meaningful Conversations With Your Husband?

How Is C.H.A.I.R.S. The Key to Having More Meaningful Conversations With Your Husband?

Many wives share disappointment that their husbands rarely talk to them at a deeper level. “Emerson, when we were dating, we used to talk long into the night getting to really know each other. What happened to him?”

Are You Humbly Voicing a Need or Formalizing a Complaint?

Are You Humbly Voicing a Need or Formalizing a Complaint?

In the beginning, after God had created Adam and placed him in the garden to cultivate it, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).

What Does Love and Respect Enable a Wife and Husband to Do?

What Does Love and Respect Enable a Wife and Husband to Do?

In the Bible, we find two realities to which we are to respond: God’s commands and God’s promises. God calls us to obey His commands and trust His promises. Most of us have sung the song "Trust and Obey,” which captures these two quintessential truths.

Are You Humbly Voicing a Need or Formalizing a Complaint?

What Does Love and Respect Enable a Wife and Husband to Do?

Stereotyping?

A woman writes, “Please help. I have a women's study group and we are watching the DVD. I know that Emerson has several times mentioned that the love and respect issues are 'typical' and not all-inclusive to the point of stereotyping. However, I have a friend who can't see past the 'stereotype' issue...all men need respect, not love, and all women need love, not respect, PERIOD.”

Stereotyping?

Too Simplistic In Light of Serious Marital Problems?

Too Simplistic In Light of Serious Marital Problems?

A critic states, "Love and respect is too simplistic for couples who have more serious problems." Yes, many couples have serious problems beyond love and respect. However, those serious problems do not justify neglecting love and respect in favor of the alternative: hate and contempt. Not only is hostility and disdain destructive of intimacy, such behavior opposes God's command to love and respect in marriage (Ephesians 5:33).

Who Is The Primary Provider?

Who Is The Primary Provider?

My dad lost his job in his early 50’s. His employer, a railroad company, went against union contract by closing down the terminal and dad found himself unemployed. At that juncture my mom provided the primary income. That arrangement strained the marriage not because mom earned more but because dad felt disrespected when mom would unthinkingly comment about having to earn the money, or she’d spend money independently of dad’s knowledge. And mom felt unloved when dad did not express appreciation for all her work or would explode in anger when she appeared too independent.

Unlovable Wives And Unrespectable Husbands

Unlovable Wives And Unrespectable Husbands

Recently a wife of an alcoholic wrote me, sharing with me that the teaching of unconditional respect permeates Al-Anon. Al-Anon is an organization created to serve family members of alcoholics. She wrote, "Al-Anon teaches that everyone deserves respect and dignity and the right to be their own person – no matter what their problems are or how they decide to manage (or not manage) their lives.