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A Wife’s Hurt Feelings: Beyond a Husband’s Apology, Rethinking a Fresh Approach
NEWEST Article

A Wife’s Hurt Feelings: Beyond a Husband’s Apology, Rethinking a Fresh Approach

If I ranked comments from wives to me, this one comes in close to the top: “My husband hurts my feelings.”

A Wife’s Hurt Feelings: Beyond a Husband’s Apology, Rethinking a Fresh Approach
Marriage
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6
min read
Seek Mutual Understanding, Not Divorce
NEWEST Article

Seek Mutual Understanding, Not Divorce

Countless divorcees have told us over the years that had they known the Love and Respect truth underlying the negative cycle they found themselves constantly on (which we refer to as the Crazy Cycle), they would never have divorced.

Seek Mutual Understanding, Not Divorce
Marriage
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9
min read
When Disappointed in Our Spouse, Do We Address Their Conduct or Attack Their Character?
NEWEST Article

When Disappointed in Our Spouse, Do We Address Their Conduct or Attack Their Character?

Husbands and wives are going to disagree . . . many times. They’re going to have arguments . . . many times. On top of that, husbands will disappoint wives, and wives will disappoint husbands, bringing reason for the offended or hurt spouse to broach a possibly sensitive or tough topic. 

When Disappointed in Our Spouse, Do We Address Their Conduct or Attack Their Character?
Marriage
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6
min read
“My Response Is My Responsibility”—7 Fears and 7 Benefits
NEWEST Article

“My Response Is My Responsibility”—7 Fears and 7 Benefits

There is an axiom that I have used in my teachings for as long as I can remember that, to this day, I still fully believe in its simple but life-changing truth: “My response is my responsibility.”

“My Response Is My Responsibility”—7 Fears and 7 Benefits
Marriage
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10
min read
According To Jesus, All We Need To Be Content Is Food, Covering, And One More Thing...
NEWEST Article

According To Jesus, All We Need To Be Content Is Food, Covering, And One More Thing...

When I was on staff at a church in the 1970s, we sought to serve widows and orphans. Though they were not all widows, we decided to lean into assisting single parents specifically.

According To Jesus, All We Need To Be Content Is Food, Covering, And One More Thing...
Christian Life
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6
min read
Seek Mutual Understanding, Not Divorce

Seek Mutual Understanding, Not Divorce

Seek Mutual Understanding, Not Divorce
Marriage
Image duration icon
9
min read
When Disappointed in Our Spouse, Do We Address Their Conduct or Attack Their Character?

When Disappointed in Our Spouse, Do We Address Their Conduct or Attack Their Character?

When Disappointed in Our Spouse, Do We Address Their Conduct or Attack Their Character?
Marriage
Image duration icon
6
min read
“My Response Is My Responsibility”—7 Fears and 7 Benefits

“My Response Is My Responsibility”—7 Fears and 7 Benefits

“My Response Is My Responsibility”—7 Fears and 7 Benefits
Marriage
Image duration icon
10
min read
According To Jesus, All We Need To Be Content Is Food, Covering, And One More Thing...

According To Jesus, All We Need To Be Content Is Food, Covering, And One More Thing...

According To Jesus, All We Need To Be Content Is Food, Covering, And One More Thing...
Christian Life
Image duration icon
6
min read
How Should I Deal With My Wife’s Negative, Disrespectful Reactions?

How Should I Deal With My Wife’s Negative, Disrespectful Reactions?

A husband wrote, “My wife and I have been married for almost two years. . . . Our disagreements are centered on her emotional outbursts and my lack of emotion. I love my wife . . . and consider myself emotional about (her), however I try to not allow emotion to control me. I believe love is expressed with actions and not with reaction. Emotion and reaction are closely related as are self-control and action. . . . I do love the emotion my wife has and I know God has us together to love and respect each other as we seek to glorify him, but I struggle when my wife justifies some behavior as her uncontrollable emotional reaction.

How Should I Deal With My Wife’s Negative, Disrespectful Reactions?
Marriage
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7
min read
After an Affair, Is Ongoing Contact with the Other Person Okay?

After an Affair, Is Ongoing Contact with the Other Person Okay?

Emerson, Several months ago, my wife and I had separated. She was involved with someone and had told me it was over, she didn't love me. After a month apart, we were able to get back together. She told him she loved me and that we were going to make our marriage work. The person she became involved with was a co-worker from a job she no longer has, but he has contacted her from time to time for talks.

After an Affair, Is Ongoing Contact with the Other Person Okay?
Marriage
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6
min read
On Valentine’s Day: The Disappointed and Sad Person

On Valentine’s Day: The Disappointed and Sad Person

Valentine’s Day is a favorite holiday of many, providing wonderful opportunities for couples to express their undying love and commitment to each other through either big or small ways, which oftentimes include chocolates and roses.Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day can also be a day when those same love birds can become more selfish toward each other than they are any other time of the year. Allow me to explain. 1. The Selfish Husband With Ulterior Motives On Valentine’s Day…

On Valentine’s Day: The Disappointed and Sad Person
Marriage
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6
min read
Your Marriage Isn’t Complex to Figure Out. Let Me Tell You Why

Your Marriage Isn’t Complex to Figure Out. Let Me Tell You Why

Sarah and I have done Love and Respect Marriage Conferences since 1999. At these conferences we teach that love and respect are the two basic ingredients for a successful marriage. I wrote the book Love and Respect to explain the power and simplicity of this truth.However, we teach that wives lean toward the love side of the equation and husbands lean toward the respect side. This is based on Ephesians 5:33, which says, “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Your Marriage Isn’t Complex to Figure Out. Let Me Tell You Why
Marriage
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4
min read
1998 February 4th: One of My First Email Exchanges With a Wife About Respect

1998 February 4th: One of My First Email Exchanges With a Wife About Respect

Sarah, my wife, had started a MOPS group at our church. This refers to Mothers of PreSchoolers! The leadership invited me to speak two times to the group about what I had announced at the church were some discoveries I had made about marriage. In 1998 my discovery revolved around wives respecting their husbands. With most that flew like a lead balloon. I had no ideas about the land-mines I would step on. For instance, I did not finish in two sessions so offered to return for a third session.

1998 February 4th: One of My First Email Exchanges With a Wife About Respect
Marriage
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5
min read
What Evil Looks Like

What Evil Looks Like

A husband writes, “I am sure, like most authors and conference promoters, you are going to present your success stories and downplay (if you present them at all) the failures. However, I would like to hear from some who have tried and failed at your approach. Maybe we can learn as much from them as the successes. What I feel concerns me the most so far is reading the repeated (and oft repeated) assumption that "your spouse is a person of basic good will".

What Evil Looks Like
Marriage
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6
min read
Three Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad at Marriage Counseling - Part 3: The Counselor’s Moral Neutrality

Three Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad at Marriage Counseling - Part 3: The Counselor’s Moral Neutrality

By “moral neutrality,” I am referring to the counselor’s neutrality when it comes to marriage and divorce. Because they do not hold the sanctity and permanence of marriage as a core belief, they do not see it as their responsibility to hold their clients to that belief. Instead, they declare, “I will respect the couple’s belief about the sacredness of marriage. However, if the couple talks in terms of divorce and has what I would consider to be irreconcilable differences of opinion, why beat a dead horse?”

Three Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad at Marriage Counseling - Part 3: The Counselor’s Moral Neutrality
Marriage
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8
min read
Three Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad at Marriage Counseling - Part 2: The Counselor’s Bias Against Males

Three Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad at Marriage Counseling - Part 2: The Counselor’s Bias Against Males

I once met with one hundred professionals in Pennsylvania and asked the question: “If I could show you how to get men to line up outside your counseling doors, would you be interested?”I could feel the electricity in the room. These professionals sat forward in their chairs awaiting my answer that could assist them. They recognized the challenge of counseling men.

Three Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad at Marriage Counseling - Part 2: The Counselor’s Bias Against Males
Marriage
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10
min read

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