The Crazy Cycle In The Workplace - Study Guide (Download)

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.