Motivating Your Man God’s Way: Applying One Word That Energizes Him to Love

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Your words reveal your heart.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.