Love & Respect in the Family (Audiobook)

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Your words reveal your heart.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.