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Embracing Diverse Parenting Styles: The Strengths of Mothers and Fathers - Part 2

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Jonathan and Emerson provide a checklist for effective parenting, including openly discussing parenting strengths, acknowledging and appreciating each other's strengths, and working together to find the best approach. They emphasize the importance of a united front and celebrating parenting successes and Emerson answers a number of questions he has been asked over the years, providing examples from his life and marriage. They also discuss how to navigate situations where traditional gender roles in parenting are reversed and the benefits of having parents with diverse strengths and approaches to parenting.


Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor
Jonathan Eggerichs, Psy.D.

Checklist For Parenting

Communication: Are we openly discussing our parenting strengths with understanding and respect?

Mutual Respect: Are we acknowledging and appreciating each other's strengths?

Common Ground: Are we reminding each other that we have the same aim: helping the child know that we care and helping the child to solve their problem?

Collaboration: Are we working together as a team to figure out the best sequence: emotional nurturing first and then problem-solving or vice versa, or simultaneously with one of us focused on nurturing and the other focused on problem-solving?

United Front: Are we making sure that our children see our mutual respect and collaboration as a team, that we have each other's back, and that we are consistent?

Celebration: Do we remember to take some time with each other to celebrate a parenting success, even if short-lived?

Re-assessment: Are we comfortable revisiting the decision given something isn't working as expected and doing so with flexibility and without finger-pointing?

Seeking Help: Are we open to seeking guidance from wise people who have parented effectively and intentionally so we improve our co-parenting relationship given:

  • We are regularly judging our spouse who lacks the strength we have in parenting.
  • We overlook the strength our spouse brings to the table, a strength we lack.
  • We have common goals but clashing convictions about the best methods to achieve those ends and we end up in heated arguments until one of us gives in.

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