Motivating Your Man God’s Way: Applying One Word That Energizes Him to Love

In book one you discovered your husband’s code word. That single truth motivates your husband to serve you and even die for you. In this book, you are ready to apply this discovery. 

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Motivating Your Man God's Way

Applying One Word That Energizes Him to Love

Unveiling the Motivating Code

In book one, you made a groundbreaking discovery – your husband's code word. This profound revelation serves as a driving force, motivating your husband to serve you and even make sacrifices on your behalf. Now, as you delve into this next book, you are prepared to apply and harness the power of this discovery.

Empower Your Relationship

Dr. Eggerichs sheds light on the dynamics of communication between husbands and wives. He emphasizes that wives have their unique code, often unbeknownst to them, and they expect their husbands to decipher it. The key to motivating your husband lies in helping him understand the true intentions and messages behind your words and actions, essentially decoding your secret code. By seeking to comprehend your husband's code and implementing the principles outlined in this book, you can inspire him to better understand and respond to your own code. This process, when acted upon, will energize him to decode your messages and bring about extraordinary and amazing results.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Love & Respect Podcast

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Love & Respect

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Building Blocks

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Before You Hit Send

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Respectfully Yours

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Building Blocks

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

The Love and Respect Experience

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Love & Respect Book

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Love & Respect

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Love & Respect

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Respectfully Yours

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Love & Respect

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Love & Respect in the Family

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Before You Hit Send

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

The Language of Love & Respect

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Before You Hit Send

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

The Love and Respect Experience

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

The Love and Respect Experience

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Building Blocks

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Love & Respect

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Building Blocks

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Building Blocks

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

The Love and Respect Experience

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

The Love and Respect Experience

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Love & Respect in the Family

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

The Love and Respect Experience

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Love & Respect in the Family

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Building Blocks

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Love & Respect in the Family

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Before You Hit Send

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Respectfully Yours

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Building Blocks

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Love & Respect

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Before You Hit Send

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Before You Hit Send

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Building Blocks

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Love & Respect

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

The Love and Respect Experience

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Building Blocks

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Before You Hit Send

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Love & Respect

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

The Love and Respect Experience

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Building Blocks

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Love & Respect Podcast

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Love & Respect

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Love & Respect

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Love & Respect Podcast

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

The Language of Love & Respect

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Respectfully Yours

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

The Love and Respect Experience

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Love & Respect

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Respectfully Yours

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Building Blocks

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Love & Respect

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Love & Respect Podcast

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

The Love and Respect Experience
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