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Our Marriage Hit Rock Bottom

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We receive many emails from people who have hit rock bottom. It seems that there is no hope when every area of the marriage is “dead.” But read what this wife shared with us and be encouraged that God can do more than you can imagine!

We hit rock bottom.

I want to start by saying thank you. Your book has had a very significant role in saving and repairing my very damaged marriage.

Last year my husband and I were truly on our way to divorce. We had hit rock bottom. There was no affection, no tenderness, no love, no mutual respect, no friendship.

He went his way - I went mine. We lived in the same house but never or rarely ever spoke. We had sex about once every two months and only because I asked. Usually he avoided that situation whenever possible.

He wasn’t attracted to me.

We went to counseling, and that did not seem to help. My husband told me he loved me, but wasn't attracted to me and didn't feel "in love" with me.

I was hurt and only saw what I felt he did wrong. I never saw MY errors. I was consumed by his.

Until I read your book.

I was forced to look deeper.

Your book forced me to look much deeper at our relationship. Our counselor tried to get me to see my faults but I shut him out.

Interestingly enough your book ended up on my doorstep literally. I had joined a Christian Bookclub and DID NOT order your book. There was a mistake. I was too lazy to send it back and stuck it on a shelf.

Honestly, it kept calling to me. I finally picked it up and read it in my "new" bedroom in the back office. Wow what an amazing look into my own wrongdoings

The ones I never wanted to see.

I gritted my teeth.

I decided to try one of your exercises. I told my husband why I respected him. I remember having to think about it all night.

And I actually physically gritted my teeth as I told him.

It was the hardest thing I had to do and yet I was profoundly moved with love when I took that mental inventory of his life.

A truly moving, painful experience.

Having to "come up" with a reason why I respected him was a truly moving, painful experience. It reminded me WHY I fell in love with him. Something I hadn't thought of in years.

I didn't think I would get a response at all. I thought he would ignore me which was the normal course of action.

Instead it was as if a fortress around us fell instantly. He looked at me with such tenderness. I hadn't seen or felt that in about three years.

We held each other so tight.

He then proceeded to tell me in so many words that he would die for me.

Die for me.  

We held each other so tight that night as if holding on to a life preserver. We haven't let go yet, a year later.

I see forever.

We have grown in our marriage; matured. We can see now how God can work in your marriage if you let him and if you remember the promise you made to each other before God himself.

I see us growing old and gray together. For the first time since being married I see "forever.” ~ M.

She wrote this letter to us one year after God transformed her marriage. Marriages that have hit rock bottom can bounce back to new heights. It may be painful and you may have to grit your teeth.

But with God ALL things are possible!


Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor

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