I Don't Like My Spouse Anymore...Help!
Have you ever felt that you didn’t need to like or even love your spouse in order to stay married? Jacki shares her thoughts on that and how God changed her heart…and then her marriage. I just had to make the day to day work.
For many years my husband and I would get caught up in the crazy cycle. Of course we didn't realize it at all and both just assumed that this was married life. I mean, marriage is hard right? Happily ever after is only a fairy tale. When it comes to marriage we do the best we can, and try to make the best out of the results.
This approach didn't feel right, but I knew no better. I knew that I had to submit to my husband, but after some time I began feeling like my opinions and feelings didn't matter. All my submitting, attempts at gentleness, all my words of love were not getting me anywhere.
I was getting to where I flat out wasn't liking my husband very much. AND, I thought that was ok. I didn't have to like him or even love him to be married; I just had to make the day to day work. My husband lived in a dream world where he didn't have a clue to my feelings. If you asked him, everything was honkey dory. I was absorbing everything myself, and slowly dying inside.
I had the power within me to fight.
Then I realized that I had within me the ability and power to more actively engage and fight for my marriage. Through Love and Respect (specifically the Motivating Your Man God’s Way book) I realized that God did not want me to have a mediocre marriage. That He wanted my husband and me to be passionate about each other, and also that He has given me – ME - the power and ability to proactively do things that specifically speak to my husband’s heart to help him see mine. My actions would be determined by the Word of God and who I am in Him, not by how my husband responded to me.
He revived my marriage AND my spirit.
Once I learned to put my identity in Christ, not in my husband, I was truly able to give my husband what he really needed...unconditional respect. And as I did what God was asking me to do, He revived my marriage AND my spirit!
Can you allow the Word of God to determine your actions? God blesses us when we do!
Jacki’s testimony is from Respectfully Yours, session 4.