Crazy Cycle CD

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

God is good and wants what is best for us.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.