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Marriage
Episode
273
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Are We Trying to Address the Problem or Find Who Is to Blame?
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In marriage conflict, stop asking who is to blame and instead own your own reaction, then stand shoulder to shoulder with your spouse to face the real issue on the table, whether an unmet need, unprotected vulnerability, or unresolved disagreement.
Drawing from 1 Corinthians 7 and practical examples, this message shows husbands and wives how shifting from courtroom blame to shared problem-solving can soften hearts, restore goodwill, and transform long-standing tensions into deeper connection.
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Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor
Questions to Consider
- What would change in your next disagreement if you first owned your reaction instead of explaining why your spouse caused it?
- How often do you treat an unmet need, vulnerability, or disagreement as “the problem on the table” rather than treating your spouse as the problem?
- When you sense the crazy cycle starting, what keeps you from asking, “What are we facing together here?”
- If your spouse owned their reaction and then asked about your need or vulnerability, how would that affect your willingness to open up?
