Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study - Couple's Kit

In this set you will receive a copy of the conference DVDs and 2 comprehensive workbooks – perfect for couples (great gift too!). The “live” Love & Respect Marriage Conference has been presented to audiences all over the country for the last 20 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time! It is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups with the ability to just watch the conference or facilitate in-depth study and discussion with the accompanying comprehensive workbook. The DVDs are divided into 10 sessions with introductions to each conference session from Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. *Closed Captioning for the hearing impaired.

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The Love & Respect Conference Workbook

Unlock the secret to a thriving marriage

In Love & Respect, author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Crazy Cycle, a negative communication pattern that can occur in marriages. When one partner responds in a way that feels disrespectful to the other partner, it can trigger a negative reaction, causing the cycle to continue. Learn how to break the cycle and build a stronger relationship.

To break the Crazy Cycle, Dr. Eggerichs suggests that couples need to recognize and address the underlying needs for love and respect in both partners. By showing love and respect to one another, couples can create a positive cycle of interaction and strengthen their relationship. You will learn practical tips and exercises to cultivate this positive cycle.

Through the Crazy Cycle, Love & Respect offers valuable insights into the ways that negative communication patterns can impact a marriage. By understanding and addressing these patterns, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs presents an alternative to the Crazy Cycle: the Energizing Cycle. This positive communication pattern starts with the wife showing respect to her husband, which makes him feel respected. In turn, the husband shows love to his wife, which makes her feel loved. This creates a positive feedback loop where both partners feel loved and respected.

By consistently showing appreciation, affection, and empathy, couples can cultivate the Energizing Cycle and build a strong and healthy relationship. Love and respect are two essential needs for both partners in a marriage, and meeting these needs can lead to greater intimacy, connection, and satisfaction in the relationship.

The Energizing Cycle offers a practical and effective way for couples to break negative communication patterns and build a more positive and fulfilling relationship. By intentionally showing love and respect to one another, couples can strengthen their bond and experience greater happiness and fulfillment in their marriage.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Rewarded Cycle, where the husband demonstrates love regardless of her respect and the wife demonstrates respect regardless of his love.

But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? What if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love? If you get no results from practicing Love & Respect, why bother?

The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions. In a real sense, the Rewarded Cycle is the most important session in this course as we are called to love and respect are spouse unconditionally, unto the Lord.

The C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym stands for Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. This is how a husband shows love to his wife.

Each element of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym represents a key aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By working to develop these qualities in their marriage, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In these six areas you will learn how to spell "love" to your wife.

The C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym presented in this course gives you practical, biblical ways that will help you become more respectful women. Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.

Providing more energy for your marriage is exactly what the C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym is all about. C.H.A.I.R.S stands for the six major values that your husband holds: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality.

In these six area you will learn how to spell "respect" to your husband.

Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study

Couple's Kit

The Conference DVDS and Study

Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love & Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, this conference has given hope and new life to thousands of marriages over the last 17 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time, with over 6 hours of dynamic teaching on five discs! It is a great resource for your personal or counseling library. Filmed in front of a live audience this presentation is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups.

In the extensive 6+ hours of content, participants will have the opportunity to explore and find answers to three significant questions that often arise in the context of marriage:

  1. Why do we find ourselves negatively reacting to each other within the confines of marriage? This fundamental question will be thoroughly addressed through an exploration of the dynamic known as the Crazy Cycle.
  2. How can we effectively motivate our spouse and foster a positive connection? The Energizing Cycle offers valuable guidance and strategies to tackle this question.
  3. What can be done when our efforts to connect with our spouse do not yield the desired response? The Rewarded Cycle offers insights and actionable steps to navigate such situations.
Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

The Language of Love & Respect Book

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Respectfully Yours

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Love & Respect

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Love & Respect

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Love & Respect

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Building Blocks

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Respectfully Yours

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Love & Respect Podcast

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Respectfully Yours

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Love & Respect

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

The Love and Respect Experience

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Love & Respect

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Before You Hit Send

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Love & Respect

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Love & Respect

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

The Love and Respect Experience

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Love & Respect Book

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Love & Respect Book

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

The Love and Respect Experience

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

The Love and Respect Experience

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Love & Respect

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

The Love and Respect Experience

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Before You Hit Send

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Love & Respect

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Love & Respect Podcast

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Love & Respect in the Family

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Respectfully Yours

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Respectfully Yours

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Building Blocks

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Love & Respect

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

The Love and Respect Experience

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Respectfully Yours

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Building Blocks

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

The Language of Love & Respect

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Before You Hit Send

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Respectfully Yours

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Love & Respect Podcast

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Before You Hit Send

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

The Language of Love & Respect Book

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Love & Respect

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Before You Hit Send

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

The Love and Respect Experience

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Respectfully Yours

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Building Blocks

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Before You Hit Send

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Love & Respect

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Love & Respect in the Family

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

The Love and Respect Experience

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Love & Respect Boook

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

The Love and Respect Experience

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Building Blocks

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Respectfully Yours

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Love & Respect Podcast

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Love & Respect

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Love & Respect

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

The Love and Respect Experience

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Building Blocks

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Before You Hit Send

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

The Love and Respect Experience

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

The Love and Respect Experience

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Respectfully Yours

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

The Illumination Project (Journal)
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