Pink and Blue
Over the years, I've used pink and blue as a reminder that husbands and wives, though equal, are not the same. We differ in gender, upbringing, spiritual gifting, temperament, interests, and responsibilities. But these differences ignite unnecessary conflict when we believe, "We are the same, and I know I am right and the normal one, and my spouse needs to be like me." In this collection, you can learn to treasure pink and blue differences while finding ways to blend into God's royal purple of win-win solutions.
An Alto Doesn’t Need Another Alto
In music, a vocal quartet is made up of four different parts or singing styles: alto, soprano, tenor, and base. All four must be included in order for the vocal group to be a quartet. The tenor cannot kick out the bass and replace him with another tenor. The soprano cannot find two more soprano friends and get rid of the alto and tenor. All four parts must be present and fulfilling their roles for the harmonies of their music to sound just right. No part is more important than another; neither is any part unnecessary and would be better off being more like another part.
After the Fall, Did God Still Expect Adam and Eve to Find Win-Win Solutions?
Over nine hundred years of living, it is safe to say that Adam and Eve had to deal with good pink and blue desires that differed and collided. Adam was called to cultivate and maintain the garden (which after the Fall took place outside of Eden in some field), and Eve had to nurse and look out for the toddlers Cain and Abel, who were now growing up in a fallen world.
It’s All About Jesus
If you have attended or heard a Love and Respect Marriage Conference or read any of the books, more than likely you will recall some of my favorite terms, analogies, and acronyms, such as: Pink and Blue, C.O.U.P.L.E., C.H.A.I.R.S., the Crazy Cycle, the Energizing Cycle, and the Rewarded Cycle. While it certainly always brings a smile to my face to hear from readers and others that they, even many years later, still talk about “needing to get off the Crazy Cycle” or “their pink hearing aids didn’t hear what their blue husband was really saying,” what I most hope that people will remember is how all of this should be used to point them to Jesus. Let me explain.
The Two-Edged Sword of Love and Respect: Virtue And Vice
Have you ever told someone the oft-used phrase that “two wrongs don’t make a right”? If you have kids you no doubt have. When big brother pushes little sister and she charges at him in response, knocking him over backward, both get in trouble with mom and dad because “two wrongs don’t make a right.” And it’s true: Never in the history of sibling rivalries, sports, war, politics, or any other area have conflicts been appropriately resolved after the initial victim retaliated with his or her own dose of medicine.
What Does It Mean When a Blue Man Is Feeling Pink?
In my conferences on Love and Respect, I like to use the analogy that men and women are as different as pink is from blue. Women look at the world through pink sunglasses, hear through pink hearing aids, and speak through a pink megaphone; while men do it all with blue. Which basically means a man and a woman can hear the exact same sentence and interpret it in completely different ways, or even say the exact same thing but mean completely different things with their words.
Love and Respect in the Face of Male and Female Differences
Based on scripture’s command in Ephesians 5:33 for the husband to love his wife and for the wife to respect her husband, Sarah and I have found two challenges. One, to follow this command unconditionally means we are to love and respect each other even during our male and female differences. Two, not only are we to love each other when these male and female differences between us are highlighted, but we are to also love and respect these male and female differences themselves as part of God's beautiful design.
Stereotypical Gender Differences, or a Ring of Truth?
Let’s say you and your spouse were faced with an unexpected expenditure that needed to be paid, like a $5,000 car expense due to a major problem with the engine. This expense overwhelmed and shocked both of you, becoming a problem you had to deal with together, as the two of you decided long ago that decisions on major expenses would best be handled together.
Does Galatians 3:28 Do Away with Male and Female Distinctions?
In Galatians 3:28, Paul says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Does this word from the apostle do away with male and female differences, such as those that for years I have distinguished as “pink and blue” and “not wrong, just different”? After all, Paul said there is neither male nor female. What else could he have meant, some have asked, if not that there are no distinctions between male and female?
Pink and Blue Differences Related to Six Challenges Every Couple Experiences
Join Emerson and Jonathan this episode as they discuss the aspects of marriage outlined in First Corinthians 7, six challenges faced by every married couple. These challenges encompass differing needs, vulnerabilities, disagreements, disappointments, insecurities, and hardships, symbolized as "his and her" in the realms of pink and blue.