Pink and Blue

Over the years, I've used pink and blue as a reminder that husbands and wives, though equal, are not the same. We differ in gender, upbringing, spiritual gifting, temperament, interests, and responsibilities. But these differences ignite unnecessary conflict when we believe, "We are the same, and I know I am right and the normal one, and my spouse needs to be like me." In this collection, you can learn to treasure pink and blue differences while finding ways to blend into God's royal purple of win-win solutions.

Articles

Is This Nonbiblical Issue Really the Hill You Want to Die On?

Some of us demand that our spouse agree with us because if they don't, they will be sinning. If we say yes to something, we tell them that they, too, must say yes or risk grieving the heart of God. Unless there is a clear violation of Scripture, morality, or the law, our spouse is not inherently wrong when varying with us. We would never say that the color pink is wrong for not being blue. What artist would go on television declaring that blue is innately wrong for not being pink? That's silly.

Is This Nonbiblical Issue Really the Hill You Want to Die On?

Marriage

min read

Are You Seeking to Do the Loving, Honorable Thing but Are Being Misunderstood? [Video]

Love and respect are key ingredients for successful marriages, with gender-specific dynamics influencing conflict resolution. Despite intentions of care and honor, misinterpretations often lead to feelings of being disrespected and unloved, highlighting the importance of understanding differing perspectives in relationships.

Are You Seeking to Do the Loving, Honorable Thing but Are Being Misunderstood? [Video]

Marriage

min read

Motivation and Interpretation: Through Pink and Blue Grids [Video]

Every married couple is going to experience conflict. That is unavoidable. In fact, it’s even natural. However, when we experience conflict with our spouse, there’s a tendency to be suspicious of their motivation.

Motivation and Interpretation: Through Pink and Blue Grids [Video]

Marriage

min read

An Alto Doesn’t Need Another Alto

In music, a vocal quartet is made up of four different parts or singing styles: alto, soprano, tenor, and base. All four must be included in order for the vocal group to be a quartet. The tenor cannot kick out the bass and replace him with another tenor. The soprano cannot find two more soprano friends and get rid of the alto and tenor. All four parts must be present and fulfilling their roles for the harmonies of their music to sound just right. No part is more important than another; neither is any part unnecessary and would be better off being more like another part.

An Alto Doesn’t Need Another Alto

Marriage

min read

After the Fall, Did God Still Expect Adam and Eve to Find Win-Win Solutions?

Over nine hundred years of living, it is safe to say that Adam and Eve had to deal with good pink and blue desires that differed and collided. Adam was called to cultivate and maintain the garden (which after the Fall took place outside of Eden in some field), and Eve had to nurse and look out for the toddlers Cain and Abel, who were now growing up in a fallen world.

After the Fall, Did God Still Expect Adam and Eve to Find Win-Win Solutions?

Christian Life

min read

It’s All About Jesus

If you have attended or heard a Love and Respect Marriage Conference or read any of the books, more than likely you will recall some of my favorite terms, analogies, and acronyms, such as: Pink and Blue, C.O.U.P.L.E., C.H.A.I.R.S., the Crazy Cycle, the Energizing Cycle, and the Rewarded Cycle. While it certainly always brings a smile to my face to hear from readers and others that they, even many years later, still talk about “needing to get off the Crazy Cycle” or “their pink hearing aids didn’t hear what their blue husband was really saying,” what I most hope that people will remember is how all of this should be used to point them to Jesus. Let me explain.

It’s All About Jesus

Marriage

min read

The Two-Edged Sword of Love and Respect: Virtue And Vice

Have you ever told someone the oft-used phrase that “two wrongs don’t make a right”? If you have kids you no doubt have. When big brother pushes little sister and she charges at him in response, knocking him over backward, both get in trouble with mom and dad because “two wrongs don’t make a right.” And it’s true: Never in the history of sibling rivalries, sports, war, politics, or any other area have conflicts been appropriately resolved after the initial victim retaliated with his or her own dose of medicine.

The Two-Edged Sword of Love and Respect: Virtue And Vice

Marriage

min read

What Does It Mean When a Blue Man Is Feeling Pink?

In my conferences on Love and Respect, I like to use the analogy that men and women are as different as pink is from blue. Women look at the world through pink sunglasses, hear through pink hearing aids, and speak through a pink megaphone; while men do it all with blue. Which basically means a man and a woman can hear the exact same sentence and interpret it in completely different ways, or even say the exact same thing but mean completely different things with their words.

What Does It Mean When a Blue Man Is Feeling Pink?

Marriage

min read

Pink and Blue

Articles

Is This Nonbiblical Issue Really the Hill You Want to Die On?

Are You Seeking to Do the Loving, Honorable Thing but Are Being Misunderstood? [Video]

Motivation and Interpretation: Through Pink and Blue Grids [Video]

An Alto Doesn’t Need Another Alto

After the Fall, Did God Still Expect Adam and Eve to Find Win-Win Solutions?

It’s All About Jesus

The Two-Edged Sword of Love and Respect: Virtue And Vice

What Does It Mean When a Blue Man Is Feeling Pink?

Podcast

Ask Emerson

Collections

Unconditional Love and Respect In Marriage

The Rewarded Cycle

Sexual Intimacy

Women Need Respect and Men Need Love