What About Parental Anger? [Video]

There is a line which a dad must not allow his anger to overstep. He crosses the line when his children--young or otherwise--feel unloved and disrespected in the face of his anger. The same holds true for mom. A mother once wrote to me saying,

“I have found with my boys that anger and control enraged them, and bottom line, they felt disrespected. At such an early age I can see that this is what they have asked of me. When I am encouraging, patient, accepting of their mistakes, gentle in correction and building them up in character, I have a much more peaceful home...I am trying to not tear my house down with my tongue!”

I will unpack the profound truth that was revealed to this mother in today’s video blog.

A parent can control the tongue! One can say with controlled anger, "I love and respect you, but what you have done is not lovable or respectable. I am angry at you, very angry. I am spitting mad, in fact! But I see this as a teaching moment for you. I don't say this to shame you, but to challenge. There are consequences to what you've done, but this is part of helping you become an honorable and loving person."

Let your son or daughter know that you are not seeking to be rude or unloving in your anger. Go on record about having love and respect for them, for believing in them.

Never assume your child knows.

The Bible says to be angry, but do not sin (Ephesians 4:26). Demonstrating positive regard does not run at odds with anger, and in fact, you can still show your anger while you demonstrate this positive regard. This is Love and Respect with anger.

-Dr. E