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Every Son Needs This One Thing

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As I’ve explored the dynamic of healthy family relationships over the past two decades, one thing has become abundantly clear: a boy needs his mother’s respect.Not only her love, but also her respect.

Sarah, my wife, has said for many years,“If I had known this information when my sons were little (they are now in their thirties), I would have been a better mother.”

This does not mean Sarah’s love was insignificant. Mother-love is vital. In fact, mother-love is the epitome of altruism.

“But Emerson, I have to ask: aren’t love and respect synonymous? Using the word love should work just fine, right?” No, it won’t work just fine. These are not two words with the same meaning. A mother can love her son but not respect him, just as a mother works outside the home for a boss that she respects but does not love. These words are not synonymous.

There is not one card from a husband to a wife that says, “Baby, I really respect you!” When a mother thinks about it, she knows these words differ. I can tell you this: a boy knows his mom loves him, but he can lack assurance that she respects him. Sarah and I have observed the Respect Effect among hundreds of mothers who stand in utter amazement. Here are some quotes that I’ve pulled from letters in the last few months . . .

What a difference...

I was totally amazed...

It kind of blew me away...

To me that was awesome...

He has never initiated saying “I love you”...

It was life-changing...

It spoke to their heart...

My relationship with my son improved overnight...

These things make my son smile like I have never seen...

I was slightly in a state of shock and euphoria at the same time...

I could hear in his voice and see in his e-mails he seemed to be more confident in his maleness...

No lie! He saw me taking the trash out of the can and he took it from me and said, “I’ll take it outside for you mommy.” Then he came in and offered to pick up the toys and take them to his room. I about fell over...

Sarah wants you to know, “As a mother, it is never too early and never too late to apply this message of respect. A boy is never too young and never too old.”

Are you ready to find out more? I have written a book- Mothers and Sons: The Respect Effect - with the many stories told to me by mothers - stories no longer untold! These moms experienced astounding results.

Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor

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