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Do You Need New Insights Or A Reminder Of What You Already Know?

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What Others Have Said After the Love & Respect Conference... "As I watched the last session and heard you talk about the fact that my spouse was irrelevant (we do what we do unto Christ), I was touched and reminded again that my deepest desire is to love and obey God. I pray that He gives me the strength and dignity to do what He wants me to do. Right now, as so often before, the pain is overwhelming but I love God so much."

"Saturday afternoon in particular was huge for me! The image of myself looking through my husband and seeing Christ was exactly what I needed to hear.... Duh! For me to be reminded that my awesome and mighty God is looking straight back at me... was what I needed to hear."

"I remember your encouragement to focus on Christ, just beyond the shoulder of my spouse. Much easier to do since my husband is out of state. Nonetheless, it was a reminder to me that my emotions can flip in a matter of seconds but I still must hold fast to being honorable and respectful in spite of his performance.


Did you ever consider that God revealed a limited amount of truth to us in the Bible? In Jude 1:3 we read "the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints.”

We read in Act 20:27, "For I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole purpose of God.”  In around 3 years Paul set forth the whole counsel of God to those at Ephesus.

From Genesis to Revelation there is only so much truth.

For this reason we don’t always need to learn new truth but need to be reminded of the truth we already know!

As death approached Peter, he penned 2 Peter. Why did he write?

We read in 2 Peter 3:1, "This is now, beloved, the second letter I am writing to you in which I am stirring up your sincere mind by way of reminder” (italics added).

This is the purpose of his letter!

Earlier he wrote, "I will always be ready to remind you of these things, even though you already know them, and have been established in the truth which is present with you. I consider it right, as long as I am in this earthly dwelling, to stir you up by way of reminder” (italics added).


We need the reminder that marriage and parenting God's way has little to do with one's spouse and children.

Have we taken our eye off the ball? Have we grown lax?

What is most important? Doing marriage and parenting unto Jesus Christ who stands beyond the shoulder of one's spouse or child and who intends to reward us even if a spouse or child does not respond.


Jesus said in Matthew 25:40 "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me" (KJV).

In marriage and parenting, in Colossians 3 and Ephesians 6, Paul applies this when he says we do what we do "as to the Lord.”

Why? Whatever good thing each one does he will receive back from the Lord.


Nothing is wasted. Everything counts.

Albert Einstein did not say, but is credited with saying, "Not everything that counts can be counted.”

For example, we must count money but in the end money is not really what counts. So too in marriage; what counts is loving and reverencing Christ who stands beyond the shoulder of a family member.

What counts to Christ, counts! Whatever good thing each one does he will receive back from the Lord.


I used to think, surely everyone knows this and they will tune me out because the reminder is so simple. I felt the reminder to be comparable to Coach Vince Lombardi holding up a football before the Green Bay Packers and saying,"Gentlemen, this is a football.”

Football players do not need a reminder that this is a football! They know the basics and this will insult their intelligence! Of course, when we hear a player say, “Hey, Coach, can you go a little slower?” we think, “Well, maybe the reminder is necessary!"


I have learned that not only do people need reminders, most appreciate them. One wife wrote this:

"My husband and I have been married for 37 years...What an eye opener for me that I should be loving and respectful, not for my husband, but for God. The sad part is that I knew that and somewhere I forgot. Thanks for the reminder.”

How about you? As you know, your marriage isn’t about your spouse - not really. Your marriage is more about you loving and reverencing Christ who stands beyond the shoulder of your spouse.

Just a reminder. Hope you appreciate it.


Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor

Questions to Consider

  1. Do you need to learn new things about marriage or more accurately just need a reminder to do what you already know?
  2. What will you commit to “remember” to do in your marriage this week? Write it down as a reminder!