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Crazy Cycle Brief Survey and Meditation

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Based on Ephesians 5:33 where God commands a husband to love and a wife respect, we discovered the Crazy Cycle: During conflict, without love a wife reacts without respect and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Given this reflects your experience, please meditate and reflect on the below questions and brief answers to self-assess how you are doing during conflict.

A. During times when you and your spouse have found yourselves spinning on the Crazy Cycle, which of the following comments might you have made to me as a reason for not getting off?

1. I cannot stop because my spouse causes me to negatively react and we keep spinning on the Crazy Cycle. 

2. I cannot stop because frankly we resent each other and our spinning on the Crazy Cycle allows us to express our anger toward each other. 

3. I cannot stop because I am frustrated with God for putting me in this marriage with so many troubles. 

4. Other? 

B. At other times of entering the Crazy Cycle, have you ever had a mindset in place intended to help stop or slow down the spinning? If so, what have you done to prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning more than once or twice with your spouse?

1. I quickly own up to my negative reactions on the Crazy Cycle and do not blame my spouse for my reactions. 

2. I remind us that we are friends with goodwill even though we are having a strong disagreement. 

3. I recognize that some tension and differences in marriage is normal and choose to roll calmly with it.

4. Other?                                 

Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor

Questions to Consider