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Does Familiarity Breed Contempt In Marriage?

Emerson discusses how we often take for granted the qualities that once attracted us to our spouse and how we can start seeing their shortcomings and flaws. He highlights the tendency to focus on weaknesses and overlook strengths, as well as the importance of valuing and appreciating our spouse for who they truly are.

Questions to Consider

  1. Emerson makes the claim that at the beginning of a relationship opposites tend to attract but then years later “opposites attack.” How have you seen this to be the case in your marriage?
  2. Why do we often fall into the trap of only noticing our spouse’s shortcomings?
  3. Is there something about your spouse’s personality, temperament, spiritual gifting, or family upbringing that once endeared you to them but now annoys you? Why do you think that is?
  4. Regarding your answer to the previous question, how can you begin to fall in love with that God-given characteristic of your spouse yet again, finding it both “startling and delightful”?