Why Do Some Husbands Say, "I Do Not Feel Any Love For My Wife?"

When we say that God commands a husband to love his wife, we are not saying that God commands the husband to feel love for his wife. He may feel little to no love for her because of her reprehensible actions. No person on the planet should feel love for what is not intrinsically lovable.

So then, what do we mean by loving one’s wife?

Love is about how a husband treats his wife when he does not feel love for her.

Love is about the demeanor and behavior a husband takes toward his wife when talking to her about her hurtful deeds.

The truth is God does not call him to feel love for her, but to show love to her.

God’s call in Ephesians 5:33 and the example of Hosea in 3:1 are meant to instruct the husband to choose love so that she will hear the truth of her wrongdoing.

Of course, some of this information is tough for a wife to swallow since she feels love in the marriage no matter what. Love compels her emotionally. She cannot imagine how her husband would have no strong feelings of love and affection. To her his lack of feeling love for her makes little sense.

But I write this to husbands.

Let me unpack this further for you. Watch the video above.

-Dr. E