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Marriage
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What If I’m More Worried About Our Marriage Than My Spouse Is? (Part 2)
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Watch Intro Video
In Part 2, Emerson moves from why spouses rate the same marriage differently to what to actually do about it. He shows the more worried spouse how to raise a concern without turning the conversation into a courtroom, shows the less worried spouse how to take it seriously without faking alarm, and explains how to tell an everyday marriage challenge from a marriage in question challenge or a life events challenge. For any couple who sees the marriage from opposite sides and keeps ending up in the same argument about it.
Missed the first session? Start with Part 1.
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Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor
Questions to Consider
- When you have raised a concern about your marriage, have you tended to open with “Why aren’t you taking this seriously?” or “Can I tell you what I’m experiencing?” How did your spouse respond?
- Emerson says greater concern does not necessarily mean greater accuracy, and lack of alarm does not prove there is no problem. Which of those two statements is harder for you to accept, and why?
- Think of a recurring tension in your marriage. Is it an everyday challenge (a need, vulnerability, or disagreement), a marriage in question challenge (disappointment or insecurity), or a life events challenge pressing in from outside? How might naming it change the conversation?
- What would it look like for you and your spouse to stand shoulder to shoulder and put the difference itself on the table, instead of putting each other on trial?
