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Marriage
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Webinar - The Three Cycles and Website Update

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Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor

In this webinar, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides an overview of the three relationship cycles he teaches - the Crazy Cycle, the Energizing Cycle, and the Rewarded Cycle. He explains how these cycles operate in marriage, with a focus on Ephesians 5:33's call for husbands to love and wives to respect. Dr. Eggerichs shares research on how men feel disrespected and women feel unloved in conflict. He provides communication tips for getting off the negative Crazy Cycle and onto the positive Energizing and Rewarded Cycles, emphasizing unconditional love and respect.

Overview

  • The Crazy Cycle happens when spouses react negatively to unmet needs, spinning between his lack of love -> her lack of respect -> his lack of love, etc.
  • The Energizing Cycle is when his love motivates her respect, which motivates more love - meeting each other's needs.
  • The Rewarded Cycle means acting in love and respect "as unto the Lord", seeking to please God regardless of the spouse's actions.
  • Research shows men link feeling disrespected to conflict more than women, while women link feeling unloved to conflict more than men.
  • Tips for men: Take the lead in loving; decode her hurt as a plea for love. Tips for women: Respect his spirit; share feelings without contempt.
  • Getting on the Energizing Cycle requires moving first in mature love and respect, not withholding to get needs met.
  • Motivation for the Rewarded Cycle: Loving/respecting "as unto Christ", seeing Him beyond the spouse's shoulder.
  • Self-awareness, decoding differences, goodwill, and motivation matter in applying the cycles.

Questions to Consider