Testimonials

I think Respectfully Yours is the BEST study a married woman can take!  Being in marriage ministry, I have read and studied many books, but Respectfully Yours is the most powerful in truly transforming a marriage. I tell many about it and know that it can open a wife's heart to understand her husband and make life changes to deepen their relationship.  Respect in marriage is so misunderstood in today's culture.  Most ladies in the class did not know how disrespectful they were until studying the Respectfully Yours material. Learning to be respectful really does open the door for our husbands to love us more deeply.  Isn't that like God's Word!!!  Obedience bears great fruit!!!\

We have two boys, and our oldest is almost eleven. I know that he feels a lot of pressure on him to be a good example to his three younger siblings. I tell him I love him all the time, but I had never considered telling him I respect him. This last Tuesday, I was cleaning his room, and I found a note he had written. It said, “Failure=Benjamin.” He is very hard on himself. . . . I was devastated. I knew something had to change, and that something was us, his parents. We need to show him that we respect him. Before he got home from school, I made twelve notes and taped them around his room and hid them in places such as drawers and under his pillow: I love you. I respect you. I respect your ideas. I am so proud of you. You are the most creative person I know. You are a great big brother. As soon as he got home and saw the obvious ones I had posted, he ran to me and gave me a hug! His eyes were sparkling, and he was so excited. He immediately took the notes and made a board that said “compliment board” and taped them all to it. I have written him letters in the past to tell him I love him and how much he means to me (he is very sentimental and has kept every note and letter). But telling him I respect him went over the top. I have made a vow to respect my son and treat him like I want his future spouse to treat him.

I have two boys...  I have recently read and listened to this book. I feel like this book has opened my eyes to how much I fail in my conversations with them... The conversations in your book are so foreign to me with my boys. I am at the point now where I can see where I did not respond with respect, now I need to get the vocabulary burned into my brain! It is going to be a process of changing my vocabulary, but I am committed to the long haul! I know it is what my young men need… The biggest mindset change has been with me focusing on spending shoulder to shoulder time with them and watching them doing things...  I now have the freedom to just do stuff with them and not have to talk. This last weekend I was home alone with my [son]. We spent a lot of time talking about whatever was on his mind (he loves to talk), going for walks, playing things he enjoys, and working outside. It was a lot of shoulder to shoulder time. I cannot tell you how many times he said that he just loves spending time with me. This is the same kid that a week ago said that I don't act like I like him. On one walk he said that he was going to stay with me so he could protect me. Later in the weekend I said that I was glad he was with me and that I wasn't alone because I felt safer having him there. He was so energized by that.

"We were constantly on the Crazy cycle...but I started to act on some of your suggestions. I was amazed at the changes in our marriage."

"I went to church and prayed and prayed for reconciliation. My ex-husband... confessed about a year ago that he wanted to try again. My heart soared with emotion! Glory to God! Could this be true? I thought it was done and over, but God had other ideas. The “story of us” was far from over. The past few months have been heavenly, and I owe it all to Christ’s message and your delivery of that message…I had attempted to try marriage counseling or retreats with (my husband) before, but they were always under a cloud of problems and heartache. This was different…Instead of moving in two different directions, we were moving as one. After purchasing the book, we attended the conference together and I was over the moon that he wanted to go…and it was life changing for us. We held hands at the “ceremony” at the end of the conference and prayed…These are the miracles that God performs. It is all in God’s timing."

Starting this small group has allowed us to examine what our own church has on these subjects and, surprisingly enough, this message has been in our literature for decades. But [TIP] brought it into a modern, practical light.

"The turnaround in our marriage is a miracle and is a profound event in my life…we have had hard discussions since I finished the (Love & Respect) book and since we attended the conference, but not one has turned into an argument. We have had disagreements, but not disconnection. Every hard discussion has resulted in a deeper level of intimacy in our marriage. I never thought this was possible. God is able to do immeasurably more than we ever ask or imagine."

Because of my lack of understanding the importance of respect, I purchased your “Mother and Son” book.  We adopted our son as a newborn.  We have always been honest with him about his story and now at 8 years of age he is beginning to ask some hard questions.  Your teaching is helping me to allow my boy to talk about his birth mom and ask questions and cry tears.  I don’t think I could have done that with the grace and kindness needed if I didn’t understand his need for respect.  Respecting my husband and my son is healing them.  It is amazing to see."

Through your book I realized I have never showed my sons (ages 19 and 21) respect. They know I love them, but I'm sure they never felt respected. I'm convinced my words (and actions) made them feel controlled and belittled, which created a wall between us. I'm learning how to honor my sons with respect (and space) and in return I'm receiving the love I crave. I try regularly to tell my sons something I respect about them or something that makes me proud. It is transforming our relationships...I have recommended this book to all my friends with sons. I even purchased it for one friend! This book is worth the time and the money for Moms to learn how to relate with their sons in the way that is most meaningful to them.

"My husband and I attended the Love and Respect Conference. We have been married for 31 years; committed, but not always happy. As we chaotically plunged through our 40's, we created a lot of devastation in our relationship. For some years, my husband did not say "I love you."... He refused to talk about anything of significance. Emotionally, he had shut down and consequently, did not try to connect with me in any way. For a long time, I chafed under this treatment…This is how we were when we came to the conference. I was actually afraid that he would be more annoyed than anything else. BUT...As a wonderful, undeserved gift from the Father who so incredibly bestows good things on his children, God opened my husband's heart… he became a changed man. A man who loves me, adores me, apologizes to me quickly…and talks to me all the time. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Thank you for being willing to share the message of love and respect across our nation. I am forever grateful."

I would like to take a moment and thank you for your wonderful book – Love and Respect. I don’t even remember how I came across it – but it is so refreshing to read the truth regarding the intricacies of the relationship between husband and wife, as God designed them to be. I just turned 69 years old – and am very happily married to my husband (of nearly 49 years – we were married in 1972). We have 6 children and 24 grandchildren. I have always had an interest in knowing how to create an atmosphere where love and tenderness not only exist, but continue to grow as time goes on. I have read many books over the years (made plenty of mistakes) – but that was always the goal. It is appalling to me to watch what the women’s movement has done to marriages and families. The lack of respect for men shocks me. I will never forget the day I went into a CVS store for a Father’s Day card. I opened a card that read: “This card is anatomically correct – we didn’t give him any brains.”So I appreciate your fearlessness in teaching the truth. I learned things in your book that no one else (in books I had read) had ever explained. For instance – the shoulder to shoulder concept – about how men don’t really need to have a lot of conversation to enjoy time with their wives. How nice to know that. I have decided that I am going to give your book for wedding gifts. It will cut the learning curve down considerably for those that are just beginning their lives together – and hopefully save them some mistakes along the way. May God Bless you for all you do.

I just appreciate so much Joy’s heart and her father’s heart and their ability to communicate generationally—even cover that generational gap—and draw together themes that are timeless but need to be communicated in a way that is going to speak to an audience that is already cynical, already skeptical.