Testimonials

Our home group is predominantly married with teens, but there are some divorced and singles and retired. What we liked about TIP is that it wasn’t the usual fill-in-the-blank video presentation.

We have two boys, and our oldest is almost eleven. I know that he feels a lot of pressure on him to be a good example to his three younger siblings. I tell him I love him all the time, but I had never considered telling him I respect him. This last Tuesday, I was cleaning his room, and I found a note he had written. It said, “Failure=Benjamin.” He is very hard on himself. . . . I was devastated. I knew something had to change, and that something was us, his parents. We need to show him that we respect him. Before he got home from school, I made twelve notes and taped them around his room and hid them in places such as drawers and under his pillow: I love you. I respect you. I respect your ideas. I am so proud of you. You are the most creative person I know. You are a great big brother. As soon as he got home and saw the obvious ones I had posted, he ran to me and gave me a hug! His eyes were sparkling, and he was so excited. He immediately took the notes and made a board that said “compliment board” and taped them all to it. I have written him letters in the past to tell him I love him and how much he means to me (he is very sentimental and has kept every note and letter). But telling him I respect him went over the top. I have made a vow to respect my son and treat him like I want his future spouse to treat him.

My relationship with my twenty-two-year-old son improved overnight! Who knew that... simple changes in words could make such a difference. Now I tell him how much I appreciate him, and he tears up. Before, I told him I loved him and got back, "I know, I know, I luv u too." Learning the right words to get my feelings across in a way they can be assimilated was so easy!

"My marriage is changed forever! I want to let men who are struggling know that they can change their marriage.  If you apply these principles, they will make a difference, my marriage is living proof."

I just appreciate so much Joy’s heart and her father’s heart and their ability to communicate generationally—even cover that generational gap—and draw together themes that are timeless but need to be communicated in a way that is going to speak to an audience that is already cynical, already skeptical.

We’ve read through the devotional together several times, which led to countless intimate and energizing conversations. Of all of their resources I think this is the best, because it captures all of the wisdom in short reads that prompt rich dialogue In 12 years of marriage we have literally shared hundreds of moments over coffee or dinner that were shaped and blessed by the L&R content. Forever grateful for the genuine influence the Eggerichs have had on our family.

My small group of twenty something women just finished week three of TIP last night, and I am LOVING it! The content is obviously great (way to relate to and entertain a group of easily jaded/skeptical/seen-it-all/overwhelmed twentysomethings!), the concepts are something we’re all wrestling through together, but the very best part is Joy’s encouragement to be multigenerational. We have about six older women who’ve rotated through our weekly gatherings, and that element is making this one of the BEST things I’ve ever been a part of! It’s really amazing. Having these women—from a woman who’s been married more than 50 years to a fiftysomething never-been-married woman to thirty- and fortysomething women with kids—listen, share their hearts and experiences, share their own illuminations and wrestle with the concepts and God’s truth alongside my girls is SO DARN AMAZING. For one, it takes pressure off me as the leader to ‘have all the answers’ (I’m 29 and have been married for six years... I barely know what I’m doing myself!). And the fact that these women from different places in life are getting to know one other, open up to each other, ugh.... there. just. aren’t. words.

"I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity to tell you some great news. With the help of the 15 day challenge, my marriage is on much better footing.  Probably in the best place we have ever been in years.  I will tell you that the most challenging of your challenges was to apologize.  I feel like I am always saying I am sorry for something so it seemed like a broken record but I did it. Well, just yesterday, my wife looks me right in the eye and says, "...for the past three weeks you have been the most amazing husband"...You and your wife have truly been instrumental in saving my marriage. Be blessed sir."

"Well a miracle happened! I read the Love and Respect book entirely last week...As we went thru the (Love and Respect) DVDs I could feel a gentle release of the pain that gripped our marriage for 22 years. Rather than a “light-bulb” moment, it’s been more of a dimmer switch getting brighter with the hope we’ll be OK now that we have some tools for an even better marriage. A softening has occurred…We are already teaching the kids some of the principles and have decided to re-watch the DVDs with the kids. We believe this can help them from many of the pitfalls we fell for and we can all “practice” Love and Respect on each other…I realize these principles were in the Bible all along; however we missed it!... You have a way of delivering the message in such spot on accuracy wrapped in humor, so we can swallow it better. Makes me think you’re the “Mary Poppins of Marriage" with your “spoonful of humor to make the painful truth go down!”"

My husband and I just attended your conference…, which we greatly enjoyed. Today is also our precious daughter [s]… birthday and I wanted you to know that she would not be here if not for God’s intervention in our lives through your Love and Respect book 9 years ago which saved our marriage.…I had filed for divorce and moved thousands of miles away to be near my family and started my dream job. I was not just one foot out the door, I was entirely out of the door after years and years of struggling . After 8 years of marriage, I was without hope and hated my husband. We had been to counseling…had even been to several Christian family conferences. However, some of the sin strongholds… had nearly put the nail in the coffin of our marriage. During that year, my husband deployed…, which was according to him, the darkest place on earth where hopelessness and temptation have a stronghold. He had other deployments and after each one he came back more distant and changed. However, this deployment was different. My husband met his best friend and brother in Christ and they began bible study in that dark place. My husband came across your book at the library there (a God thing of course) and began to pursue me relentlessly even from thousands of miles away. It took a long time for me to reach the point where I was at and it took a true miracle to soften my hardened heart. He started with apologies to me and others in our lives he had hurt. Then he began writing me love letters, telling my how amazing and irreplaceable I was. He kept telling me that he was not doing this to win me back, but he was doing this because of the commitment he made to God to be my husband, which had nothing to do with the way I treated him. He sent me flowers, drawings and gifts. For weeks I would not take his phone calls except so he could talk to our young son because I was so angry and afraid to love. I was cruel, and skeptical and he kept loving me unconditionally in spite of this. I will never be able to explain the transformation in my willingness to reconcile and see it as a miracle. One day I saw him as my enemy and the next, I was completely in love with him again and saw him as my warrior, hero, and resolute protector. When people ask me how we could reconcile, I tell them without hesitation that it was God and your book that saved our marriage. When he returned, we canceled the divorce proceedings and reconciled. Shortly thereafter we conceived our little girl. We now have a Godly marriage and are much stronger than ever. Thank you so much for writing this book and saving marriages. There is a special place in our hearts for military families and I pray that the Love and Respect message continues to make its way to bible studies and libraries in the darkest corners of the world.

"Yesterday I tried the "60 Second Test." My husband did not follow me after I commented on the ways I respect him and I was a little disappointed but I assumed I didn't word my statement right. This morning he was in a grumpy mood and as he huffed away to our bedroom he said, "I just want to be awesome like I was yesterday!" This is an odd statement for him so I asked for some clarification. He said that yesterday I had told him I respected him and he wanted to be the same man today that I respected yesterday. It made me smile and I thought you'd like to know. Bring on the next challenge!"

Why Hasn't Anyone told me this before?