Testimonials

"Just wanted to say I really liked this episode of the email program [How Do You Motivate Your Spouse]. Really resonated with everything I see going on between my husband and I. Thank you."

I just finished Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, and it has opened my eyes to a whole new world. I’m a divorced mom with 2 adult sons and no brothers, so sorely in need of this book to get a clue. Wow! I have also ordered the Love & Respect Conference DVDs to help me with gaining more knowledge on the topic. Can’t wait for them to arrive. Thank you for this wonderful and enlightening book.

Just finished Mother & Son Respect Effect. I loved it!! I wish I had read it sooner although I do believe I’ve learned to respect my 16 year old in a just a few short weeks. I’ve told all my friends about it as I believe it’s a must for all moms of boys. I also strongly feel that female public school teachers should read this book!!

My relationship with my twenty-two-year-old son improved overnight! Who knew that... simple changes in words could make such a difference. Now I tell him how much I appreciate him, and he tears up. Before, I told him I loved him and got back, "I know, I know, I luv u too." Learning the right words to get my feelings across in a way they can be assimilated was so easy!

"My own experiences along with your advice have resulted in a miracle in my life. I enjoy my husband as I did when we were courting (more, even). Our sex life has improved 100% as I find respecting my husband a turn-on (believe it or not). Today, he gets more than enough respect (and sex) and I get all the love and protection that I could ever want. There is now great joy in my marriage thanks to your help."

“LOTS to tell you about our journey – really a miracle. But let me give you one short example. Yesterday we were going to meet our son for brunch. We decided what time we would leave (I am a time guy – guess it goes with my job). At one minute before we were supposed to leave, she said, “I will be right there – go on to the car.” 10 minutes (which to me seemed like 10 hours) went by. She came out and got in the car – and let me add it is not unusual for this scenario to happen – and she normally would say, “You are just such a control freak where time is concerned. Don’t even start with me.” Yesterday she got in the car (and I had already decided to be loving – as if Jesus was getting in the car late - which He would never do!). She looked at me and said, “It was horribly disrespectful of me to be late. I am so very sorry. I should have gotten ready and then sorted the laundry. Will you forgive me?” I almost drove off into the grass. So…God is really working – in both of us. Probably no way to ever thank you. Ever. I am telling everyone about the DVD series and trying to get our pastor to show it at church on Sunday mornings.”

"My husband and I ... were definitely on the crazy cycle.  We didn't know it until recognizing it after your explanation.  It was like a light bulb went off showing us what we were doing over and over again."

"...I thank you SO much for helping us to understand the concepts of love and respect. While I did not have great role models growing up, I am committed to showing my husband and sons the respect that they deserve as the men in our home. I have seen the love for myself and my daughter come around in multiplied amounts, which has made our home so much happier all around. Thank you for helping families to understand and be better. Also, thank you for helping us again to rely on God to help transform us!"

The Illumination Project is undeniably going to help our generation understand relationships. Joy is hilarious and has such great insight into the Love and Respect message. I am proud to call her a friend!

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…I have been thinking about doing something for our marriage for some time, but my husband was not in favor. He was always bothered by the method—one on one, and of course, the financial aspect. He decided to try Building Blocks primarily because the course was practically free. After five years this was our first planned and regular time away doing something for the two of us.  At first, I was a bit skeptical about the religious aspect, since my husband has practically no experience or a negative attitude towards religion. But it turned out to be completely acceptable, probably because you do not reinforce it…My husband rarely wanted to think about these things—he thought it was meaningless. He heard things for the first time in Building Blocks and discovered things he never talked about before. Certain truths really inspired him and consequently, me too. We both remember lesson five: My Response is My Responsibility. It made the greatest impression on us. In fact, I think I will write this on the wall in the bedroom! Perhaps the most valuable insight for both is the fact that we are not alone in our troubles and that others have very similar challenges…

"I am finding your emails exceptionally on point for our relationship that was struggling.  We split for about 4.5 months and we have now found our way back to each other by the grace of God. After reading this 3rd email it is as if you were living in our house.  These are the EXACT ways we were both feeling and could not figure out why we could not see each other's perspective.  I - as the female - was doing all the things you describe and he - as the male - was doing all the things you described, and...that is exactly how we both were feeling. Not only have we both signed up for these emails but we have purchased the book and the workbook and have committed to studying together once per week so as to work on our relationship and getting back the the loving couple we once used to be.  So far we have completed chapters 1&2.  We are both excited for this journey.  We have made decisions that our differences can no longer become bigger than US."

In talking to my sons on the phone, I thought I would try out the respect thing. Instead of always ending our conversation with I love you, I said, “I respect (I made it personal to their situations).” One son got quiet and then said, “Thank you, mom,” which really touched my heart. Another son who is more distant from us emotionally and spiritually also got quiet and then said, “I love you,” which he seldom says first or responds to when I say it. To me that was awesome. I expect new fruit in many areas and look forward to using these tools to bring healing to first myself and then others. God bless your ministry.