Testimonials

I really didn’t get into the journal until week 3. I thought it was cute and I knew it had won awards, but I didn’t see the point. I had already committed to going to the dinners and to the group, why did I need to go through the book? But I was wrong. It is full of so many funny and good things—there will be something that speaks to you, a little gem that will reveal it truly was a good use of your time.

For one, as an artist, I really appreciate the thoughtfulness put into the design elements of The Illumination Project. Often design is left behind in the pragmatic work of content makers… leaving the program feeling irrelevantly dated in its communication. We are a visually driven culture, and design plays a vital role in the relaying of ideas and meaning. The Illumination Project not only brings us into content that we so desperately need to digest, but it gives it to us with a visual ‘spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.’ Bravo.

"I’m a pastor and was looking for a DVD series to use with couples in pastoral counseling. I feel thrilled that I was able to get the Crazy Cycle 4 session series [online] to help them."

I’m a widower, so I guess you could say that I’ve been wounded. But I want to put myself out there and find love again, and going through this series is helping me with that.  Learning about the Crazy Cycle and the core reality of our most basic needs has been truly illuminating as I move forward in this new season of life.

"One of God's miracles in all of this is (we) made a commitment to go for counseling and the person that gave us the counseling used all his teaching based on Love and Respect. First we had to re-read your book, then we went through your 5 DVDs on Love and Respect…with obedience, faith, patience and with (the) Love and Respect teaching God worked His plans His way...Yes we both have acknowledged that it takes two to tango and we were in all aspects of our lives on the crazy cycle. We are now committed to always work our way through life by putting God first and to stay off of the crazy cycle."

"My husband and I attended the Love and Respect Conference. We have been married for 31 years; committed, but not always happy. As we chaotically plunged through our 40's, we created a lot of devastation in our relationship. For some years, my husband did not say "I love you."... He refused to talk about anything of significance. Emotionally, he had shut down and consequently, did not try to connect with me in any way. For a long time, I chafed under this treatment…This is how we were when we came to the conference. I was actually afraid that he would be more annoyed than anything else. BUT...As a wonderful, undeserved gift from the Father who so incredibly bestows good things on his children, God opened my husband's heart… he became a changed man. A man who loves me, adores me, apologizes to me quickly…and talks to me all the time. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Thank you for being willing to share the message of love and respect across our nation. I am forever grateful."

My small group of twenty something women just finished week three of TIP last night, and I am LOVING it! The content is obviously great (way to relate to and entertain a group of easily jaded/skeptical/seen-it-all/overwhelmed twentysomethings!), the concepts are something we’re all wrestling through together, but the very best part is Joy’s encouragement to be multigenerational. We have about six older women who’ve rotated through our weekly gatherings, and that element is making this one of the BEST things I’ve ever been a part of! It’s really amazing. Having these women—from a woman who’s been married more than 50 years to a fiftysomething never-been-married woman to thirty- and fortysomething women with kids—listen, share their hearts and experiences, share their own illuminations and wrestle with the concepts and God’s truth alongside my girls is SO DARN AMAZING. For one, it takes pressure off me as the leader to ‘have all the answers’ (I’m 29 and have been married for six years... I barely know what I’m doing myself!). And the fact that these women from different places in life are getting to know one other, open up to each other, ugh.... there. just. aren’t. words.

"Excellent videos. My husband and I have learned what causes us to get on the crazy cycle during conflict. That has been eye opening and an area for growth in our marriage.  He is my ally, not my enemy."

"Well a miracle happened! I read the Love and Respect book entirely last week...As we went thru the (Love and Respect) DVDs I could feel a gentle release of the pain that gripped our marriage for 22 years. Rather than a “light-bulb” moment, it’s been more of a dimmer switch getting brighter with the hope we’ll be OK now that we have some tools for an even better marriage. A softening has occurred…We are already teaching the kids some of the principles and have decided to re-watch the DVDs with the kids. We believe this can help them from many of the pitfalls we fell for and we can all “practice” Love and Respect on each other…I realize these principles were in the Bible all along; however we missed it!... You have a way of delivering the message in such spot on accuracy wrapped in humor, so we can swallow it better. Makes me think you’re the “Mary Poppins of Marriage" with your “spoonful of humor to make the painful truth go down!”"

"It was amazing how much really taking the time to think about things I was going to say and how they sounded. I am always one that is quick to just start talking and that has gotten my marriage into a not so happy place. Tonight, when I was more aware of what I was saying and how it may come across, I had fun laughing and talking with my husband, something I feel we have not done in some time. Thanks already, I cant wait to see what more growth can come from this challenge. I also just started reading the love and respect book tonight and look forward to delving further into it."

"We were constantly on the Crazy cycle...but I started to act on some of your suggestions. I was amazed at the changes in our marriage."

"Thank you so much for the 15-day plan...I really was happy to have a review of the material and the ability to print it out and apply it over and over! I intend to keep reading it from time to time and I am sure the application will be ongoing in my marriage. What stood out to me in the 15-day plan:  awareness of the differences in our felt needs, the importance of the tone used in conversation, avoiding contempt, expressing positive regard for the person, and the significance of giving your spouse what they need but do not deserve."