Testimonials

"My husband and myself first watched the Love & Respect DVDs together 15 years ago. This awareness of the pink and blue differences in conflict was what my husband said changed his mind and made a huge difference in how he approached me. I have to say though, while the DVD was amazing and so easy to view over and over again (our small children grew up repeating your quotes and jokes!), I seem to be grasping this concept of male honor and male wiring much better from reading this email. I am so appreciative and thankful that I have this tool to practice and look forward to the impact my changes will have on future generations!  Thank you for making this email option available!!!"

The Illumination Project is undeniably going to help our generation understand relationships. Joy is hilarious and has such great insight into the Love and Respect message. I am proud to call her a friend!

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"It was amazing how much really taking the time to think about things I was going to say and how they sounded. I am always one that is quick to just start talking and that has gotten my marriage into a not so happy place. Tonight, when I was more aware of what I was saying and how it may come across, I had fun laughing and talking with my husband, something I feel we have not done in some time. Thanks already, I cant wait to see what more growth can come from this challenge. I also just started reading the love and respect book tonight and look forward to delving further into it."

I loved this book and recommended it for a book club of moms. It was helpful for each of us...Particularly appreciated the shoulder to shoulder time explanation, and the explanation of using the word respect in conversations with my sons. The book was helpful because it allowed me to see how my communication needed to be different with my sons than it is with my daughters. It made me more intentional in conversations with my guys.

My husband and I just attended your conference…, which we greatly enjoyed. Today is also our precious daughter [s]… birthday and I wanted you to know that she would not be here if not for God’s intervention in our lives through your Love and Respect book 9 years ago which saved our marriage.…I had filed for divorce and moved thousands of miles away to be near my family and started my dream job. I was not just one foot out the door, I was entirely out of the door after years and years of struggling . After 8 years of marriage, I was without hope and hated my husband. We had been to counseling…had even been to several Christian family conferences. However, some of the sin strongholds… had nearly put the nail in the coffin of our marriage. During that year, my husband deployed…, which was according to him, the darkest place on earth where hopelessness and temptation have a stronghold. He had other deployments and after each one he came back more distant and changed. However, this deployment was different. My husband met his best friend and brother in Christ and they began bible study in that dark place. My husband came across your book at the library there (a God thing of course) and began to pursue me relentlessly even from thousands of miles away. It took a long time for me to reach the point where I was at and it took a true miracle to soften my hardened heart. He started with apologies to me and others in our lives he had hurt. Then he began writing me love letters, telling my how amazing and irreplaceable I was. He kept telling me that he was not doing this to win me back, but he was doing this because of the commitment he made to God to be my husband, which had nothing to do with the way I treated him. He sent me flowers, drawings and gifts. For weeks I would not take his phone calls except so he could talk to our young son because I was so angry and afraid to love. I was cruel, and skeptical and he kept loving me unconditionally in spite of this. I will never be able to explain the transformation in my willingness to reconcile and see it as a miracle. One day I saw him as my enemy and the next, I was completely in love with him again and saw him as my warrior, hero, and resolute protector. When people ask me how we could reconcile, I tell them without hesitation that it was God and your book that saved our marriage. When he returned, we canceled the divorce proceedings and reconciled. Shortly thereafter we conceived our little girl. We now have a Godly marriage and are much stronger than ever. Thank you so much for writing this book and saving marriages. There is a special place in our hearts for military families and I pray that the Love and Respect message continues to make its way to bible studies and libraries in the darkest corners of the world.

Already having authored the best relationship material available, Emerson and Joy are shedding new light and deeper understanding about the Love and Respect thought process that will change your life.  Under the banner of The Illumination Project, this father/daughter team are now combining their brilliant observations with a unique style of ‘wisdom meets passion’ to bring our society some of the answers for which many of us have waited our whole lives.

We have seven participants aged 23 to 29. I would characterize the group as each a believer, but their levels of spiritual maturity and personal relationship with Jesus vary considerably. It was clear that our test group was ‘willing’ but more than a little bit apprehensive. This was new territory for them. We wondered if we’d be able to stimulate discussion afterward. Ha! The group couldn’t wait to comment! We’ll have more to share as the weeks move on, but, suffice it to say, we might be ‘on to something’ here.

I attended a "Respectfully Yours”…twice!  I loved it!  This study has helped me tremendously in my relationship with God and my marriage. I had been spinning my wheels on the Crazy Cycle for over 30 years. I failed miserably trying to do marriage my way in my own strength.  I thought my husband was the problem and I planned to divorce him after the kids left home.

God had another plan! (Thank you Lord!). He provided this study to teach me His truth, His wisdom, His ways. He loves me and wants what is best for me!  And I'm entrusting myself to Him.  "Respectfully Yours" taught me how to honor God and do marriage His way. To focus on what I need to do, not what my husband needs to do. I learned more about who God is and who I am in Him, how God made husbands and wives different, how to be obedient to God's command to respect my husband…unconditionally, regardless of whether or not he responds with the love I need from him. That seemed impossible…but I decided to try it. With God's grace, help and guidance I realized I can do this and it feels good and right. This study has made such a difference in my life and marriage. I am more at peace and my husband is responding to me in a more loving and caring way. My prayer is for every woman young and old to put their hope and trust in the Lord and do this study and experience the power of God in her life and marriage. God bless every one of you at Love and Respect and every study group leader as you spread the message.

Respectfully Yours was exceedingly helpful for me in my marriage! Understanding ‘the crazy cycle’ has made a huge difference for both me and my husband. I highly recommend the study for its practical use and application.

We have two boys, and our oldest is almost eleven. I know that he feels a lot of pressure on him to be a good example to his three younger siblings. I tell him I love him all the time, but I had never considered telling him I respect him. This last Tuesday, I was cleaning his room, and I found a note he had written. It said, “Failure=Benjamin.” He is very hard on himself. . . . I was devastated. I knew something had to change, and that something was us, his parents. We need to show him that we respect him. Before he got home from school, I made twelve notes and taped them around his room and hid them in places such as drawers and under his pillow: I love you. I respect you. I respect your ideas. I am so proud of you. You are the most creative person I know. You are a great big brother. As soon as he got home and saw the obvious ones I had posted, he ran to me and gave me a hug! His eyes were sparkling, and he was so excited. He immediately took the notes and made a board that said “compliment board” and taped them all to it. I have written him letters in the past to tell him I love him and how much he means to me (he is very sentimental and has kept every note and letter). But telling him I respect him went over the top. I have made a vow to respect my son and treat him like I want his future spouse to treat him.

"After I heard the Love and Respect message I bought the CDs and sent it to (my husband)…I asked him if he would listen to this prayerfully and let me know if he thought there was hope for us. I then attended the seminar…Hope and confidence that this was a "God" thing grew in both of us and fears began to dissipate. God began to do miracles in each of our hearts, and we could each see how God had been changing our hearts in various ways while we were apart, and we had no idea we were both experiencing that. We both got a copy of the Love and Respect book and were reading it over the phone and talking through our past difficulties and differences.….we began checking out the DVDs …We were amazed at how God confirmed time and again that it was Him doing it. We experienced open door after open door, and undoubtable miracles along the way confirming His will for us."

"The turnaround in our marriage is a miracle and is a profound event in my life…we have had hard discussions since I finished the (Love & Respect) book and since we attended the conference, but not one has turned into an argument. We have had disagreements, but not disconnection. Every hard discussion has resulted in a deeper level of intimacy in our marriage. I never thought this was possible. God is able to do immeasurably more than we ever ask or imagine."