Testimonials

Win-Win marriages are fulfilling. Marriages without Win-Win don't seem happy or fulfilling. Since I do not want to be unfulfilled, Win-Win is a skill I need to have. This course provided me with this skill. Thank you.

We have two boys, and our oldest is almost eleven. I know that he feels a lot of pressure on him to be a good example to his three younger siblings. I tell him I love him all the time, but I had never considered telling him I respect him. This last Tuesday, I was cleaning his room, and I found a note he had written. It said, “Failure=Benjamin.” He is very hard on himself. . . . I was devastated. I knew something had to change, and that something was us, his parents. We need to show him that we respect him. Before he got home from school, I made twelve notes and taped them around his room and hid them in places such as drawers and under his pillow: I love you. I respect you. I respect your ideas. I am so proud of you. You are the most creative person I know. You are a great big brother. As soon as he got home and saw the obvious ones I had posted, he ran to me and gave me a hug! His eyes were sparkling, and he was so excited. He immediately took the notes and made a board that said “compliment board” and taped them all to it. I have written him letters in the past to tell him I love him and how much he means to me (he is very sentimental and has kept every note and letter). But telling him I respect him went over the top. I have made a vow to respect my son and treat him like I want his future spouse to treat him.

Why Hasn't Anyone told me this before?

"After I heard the Love and Respect message I bought the CDs and sent it to (my husband)…I asked him if he would listen to this prayerfully and let me know if he thought there was hope for us. I then attended the seminar…Hope and confidence that this was a "God" thing grew in both of us and fears began to dissipate. God began to do miracles in each of our hearts, and we could each see how God had been changing our hearts in various ways while we were apart, and we had no idea we were both experiencing that. We both got a copy of the Love and Respect book and were reading it over the phone and talking through our past difficulties and differences.….we began checking out the DVDs …We were amazed at how God confirmed time and again that it was Him doing it. We experienced open door after open door, and undoubtable miracles along the way confirming His will for us."

They are humble teachers who teach from their mistakes and their trials with this message. I felt like it was really practical, kind of like they were coming alongside us. It felt real.

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When my son gives me his insight I say, “I really respect what you have to say,” or “I respect the way you handled that situation.” Or “I really respect how you are taking initiative to get things done and follow through with . . .” These things have made my son smile like I have never seen. I talk more about respect with regard to sporting events and showing respect for other opponents. My son knows without a doubt that I love him . . . now I feel he knows that I value him and his ideas, which I may not have done so well in the past. . . . Thank you so much for sharing God’s message.

I have read Love and Respect years ago so I was familiar with the Respect message. However, I had not realized how much I didn’t know… What I didn’t know was my son, now adult, was starving for my respect as much as my husband did in the past. I always expected my son to show respect to me while thinking love was all he needed from me. Now, Emerson has opened my eyes again to the reality. I am getting ready to construct a letter to my adult son telling him how much I Respect him. I love the fact that there are practical words and phrases to use with my son that I would have never thought to say., Words that he longs to hear from me. Mother and Son is worth your read. Emerson will help you understand your son better.

"The turnaround in our marriage is a miracle and is a profound event in my life…we have had hard discussions since I finished the (Love & Respect) book and since we attended the conference, but not one has turned into an argument. We have had disagreements, but not disconnection. Every hard discussion has resulted in a deeper level of intimacy in our marriage. I never thought this was possible. God is able to do immeasurably more than we ever ask or imagine."

I really didn’t get into the journal until week 3. I thought it was cute and I knew it had won awards, but I didn’t see the point. I had already committed to going to the dinners and to the group, why did I need to go through the book? But I was wrong. It is full of so many funny and good things—there will be something that speaks to you, a little gem that will reveal it truly was a good use of your time.

My husband and I just attended your conference…, which we greatly enjoyed. Today is also our precious daughter [s]… birthday and I wanted you to know that she would not be here if not for God’s intervention in our lives through your Love and Respect book 9 years ago which saved our marriage.…I had filed for divorce and moved thousands of miles away to be near my family and started my dream job. I was not just one foot out the door, I was entirely out of the door after years and years of struggling . After 8 years of marriage, I was without hope and hated my husband. We had been to counseling…had even been to several Christian family conferences. However, some of the sin strongholds… had nearly put the nail in the coffin of our marriage. During that year, my husband deployed…, which was according to him, the darkest place on earth where hopelessness and temptation have a stronghold. He had other deployments and after each one he came back more distant and changed. However, this deployment was different. My husband met his best friend and brother in Christ and they began bible study in that dark place. My husband came across your book at the library there (a God thing of course) and began to pursue me relentlessly even from thousands of miles away. It took a long time for me to reach the point where I was at and it took a true miracle to soften my hardened heart. He started with apologies to me and others in our lives he had hurt. Then he began writing me love letters, telling my how amazing and irreplaceable I was. He kept telling me that he was not doing this to win me back, but he was doing this because of the commitment he made to God to be my husband, which had nothing to do with the way I treated him. He sent me flowers, drawings and gifts. For weeks I would not take his phone calls except so he could talk to our young son because I was so angry and afraid to love. I was cruel, and skeptical and he kept loving me unconditionally in spite of this. I will never be able to explain the transformation in my willingness to reconcile and see it as a miracle. One day I saw him as my enemy and the next, I was completely in love with him again and saw him as my warrior, hero, and resolute protector. When people ask me how we could reconcile, I tell them without hesitation that it was God and your book that saved our marriage. When he returned, we canceled the divorce proceedings and reconciled. Shortly thereafter we conceived our little girl. We now have a Godly marriage and are much stronger than ever. Thank you so much for writing this book and saving marriages. There is a special place in our hearts for military families and I pray that the Love and Respect message continues to make its way to bible studies and libraries in the darkest corners of the world.

I first want to say thank you so much for writing this book for all of us mothers. I’m not a big reader but I just knew I needed to get through this. When my son was a lot younger of course our relationship was significantly different and it was all about love and he loved love. I realize in the teenage years that something was changing and I could not quite figure it out. And now I recently got married and I have three stepchildren. Each of them are boys. I have three teenagers currently and a nine-year-old boy. Needless to say my eyes are wide open now and even though I want to love each of them and I will always love them, but now I absolutely want to respect them as well…Again thank you so much.

"I am one of five kids, and since I can remember my parents have constantly been fighting and bitter towards each other…It was finally to the breaking point…We no longer cared what happened, as long as the fighting and the yelling and the hatred and the bitterness stopped. I have spared you the details, but to kids growing up in a home like that, it was hell…About a year ago, after going to countless seminars, numerous marriage counselors, and who knows how many books, they discovered the Love & Respect series. To the rest of us it was just another stab in the dark and the seemingly obvious expectation of a divorce was still there. When my parents did a complete 180-degree turn around, it was very difficult not to be still in denial and hurt and expect it not to last too long. It was definitely something I would call, without any doubt, a miracle. Something that would have been impossible had it not been for God's grace and compassion. When they went from twenty-two years of hating each other, to holding hands, going out on dates and cuddling overnight, I could not believe it. They are now a very happy couple and plan on re-doing their wedding vows for their twenty-fifth anniversary. It saved our family (and) it saved our lives."