Testimonials

"Well a miracle happened! I read the Love and Respect book entirely last week...As we went thru the (Love and Respect) DVDs I could feel a gentle release of the pain that gripped our marriage for 22 years. Rather than a “light-bulb” moment, it’s been more of a dimmer switch getting brighter with the hope we’ll be OK now that we have some tools for an even better marriage. A softening has occurred…We are already teaching the kids some of the principles and have decided to re-watch the DVDs with the kids. We believe this can help them from many of the pitfalls we fell for and we can all “practice” Love and Respect on each other…I realize these principles were in the Bible all along; however we missed it!... You have a way of delivering the message in such spot on accuracy wrapped in humor, so we can swallow it better. Makes me think you’re the “Mary Poppins of Marriage" with your “spoonful of humor to make the painful truth go down!”"

My husband and I just attended your conference…, which we greatly enjoyed. Today is also our precious daughter [s]… birthday and I wanted you to know that she would not be here if not for God’s intervention in our lives through your Love and Respect book 9 years ago which saved our marriage.…I had filed for divorce and moved thousands of miles away to be near my family and started my dream job. I was not just one foot out the door, I was entirely out of the door after years and years of struggling . After 8 years of marriage, I was without hope and hated my husband. We had been to counseling…had even been to several Christian family conferences. However, some of the sin strongholds… had nearly put the nail in the coffin of our marriage. During that year, my husband deployed…, which was according to him, the darkest place on earth where hopelessness and temptation have a stronghold. He had other deployments and after each one he came back more distant and changed. However, this deployment was different. My husband met his best friend and brother in Christ and they began bible study in that dark place. My husband came across your book at the library there (a God thing of course) and began to pursue me relentlessly even from thousands of miles away. It took a long time for me to reach the point where I was at and it took a true miracle to soften my hardened heart. He started with apologies to me and others in our lives he had hurt. Then he began writing me love letters, telling my how amazing and irreplaceable I was. He kept telling me that he was not doing this to win me back, but he was doing this because of the commitment he made to God to be my husband, which had nothing to do with the way I treated him. He sent me flowers, drawings and gifts. For weeks I would not take his phone calls except so he could talk to our young son because I was so angry and afraid to love. I was cruel, and skeptical and he kept loving me unconditionally in spite of this. I will never be able to explain the transformation in my willingness to reconcile and see it as a miracle. One day I saw him as my enemy and the next, I was completely in love with him again and saw him as my warrior, hero, and resolute protector. When people ask me how we could reconcile, I tell them without hesitation that it was God and your book that saved our marriage. When he returned, we canceled the divorce proceedings and reconciled. Shortly thereafter we conceived our little girl. We now have a Godly marriage and are much stronger than ever. Thank you so much for writing this book and saving marriages. There is a special place in our hearts for military families and I pray that the Love and Respect message continues to make its way to bible studies and libraries in the darkest corners of the world.

I came reluctant to give my husband the respect that I know I am biblically commanded to do. Praise God…I learned some valuable insights and tools to turn that around. And, I know that I am not alone!

"My husband and I attended the Love and Respect Conference. We have been married for 31 years; committed, but not always happy. As we chaotically plunged through our 40's, we created a lot of devastation in our relationship. For some years, my husband did not say "I love you."... He refused to talk about anything of significance. Emotionally, he had shut down and consequently, did not try to connect with me in any way. For a long time, I chafed under this treatment…This is how we were when we came to the conference. I was actually afraid that he would be more annoyed than anything else. BUT...As a wonderful, undeserved gift from the Father who so incredibly bestows good things on his children, God opened my husband's heart… he became a changed man. A man who loves me, adores me, apologizes to me quickly…and talks to me all the time. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Thank you for being willing to share the message of love and respect across our nation. I am forever grateful."

For one, as an artist, I really appreciate the thoughtfulness put into the design elements of The Illumination Project. Often design is left behind in the pragmatic work of content makers… leaving the program feeling irrelevantly dated in its communication. We are a visually driven culture, and design plays a vital role in the relaying of ideas and meaning. The Illumination Project not only brings us into content that we so desperately need to digest, but it gives it to us with a visual ‘spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.’ Bravo.

"My husband and myself first watched the Love & Respect DVDs together 15 years ago. This awareness of the pink and blue differences in conflict was what my husband said changed his mind and made a huge difference in how he approached me. I have to say though, while the DVD was amazing and so easy to view over and over again (our small children grew up repeating your quotes and jokes!), I seem to be grasping this concept of male honor and male wiring much better from reading this email. I am so appreciative and thankful that I have this tool to practice and look forward to the impact my changes will have on future generations!  Thank you for making this email option available!!!"

"Thank you so much for the 15-day plan...I really was happy to have a review of the material and the ability to print it out and apply it over and over! I intend to keep reading it from time to time and I am sure the application will be ongoing in my marriage. What stood out to me in the 15-day plan:  awareness of the differences in our felt needs, the importance of the tone used in conversation, avoiding contempt, expressing positive regard for the person, and the significance of giving your spouse what they need but do not deserve."

I wish I would have learned about win-win before we got married. I would have been able to practice these principles while we were courting. I knew there would be challenges but because of each of our personalities they took a long, long, time to really show up. We suppressed a lot of things not wanting to upset the other or bring up something frustrating. If we would have realized that we could have a win-win scenario and communicated about things right away, it wouldn't have taken a decade for major challenges to surface. The Marine Corps is all about preparing for friction and challenges so that concept is easy for me to grasp, the Bible gives us all the tools, but I had never considered solutions in marriage being a win-win situation. I had always heard the emphasis on sacrificing for the other person which I figured could go either way, but the win-win concept I have never considered or heard advocated...despite the fact that it's right there, in the Bible.

So wish I had read when my son was little, but found powerful at 30 years old as well. Although we don't line up on our worldview at this stage, I found an area I genuinely
admire and respect in my son.  When I told him I respected the way he handles his finances, my words resonated with him in a way that he immediately physically sat more erect (in the car passenger seat) and then shared with me some of his business ideas.

"I want to thank you for helping me get my marriage back! The divorce papers were in the car and I'd only promised to go to the conference because our daughter begged me to. I'd tried for months with my spouse; we were separated, tried counseling, prayer, and after 16 years I knew it was over… (During the third session) I could feel my heart being touched by God…(What took place between us) has NEVER happened before and I want to tell you that we are reconciled, I've stopped the divorce…we've spoken to our daughter and shared with her our change of heart and we say thank you. There is no doubt in my life that I'm watching a miracle in action and I say, bless you for your time and effort."

You have empowered me to do better to follow God’s desire for my marriage. You have also given me a new hope and encouragement. It has been a blessed time for me, Thank you.

"I will go find your book which is on my bookshelf. Your emails have kindled the spark again."