Testimonials

We have two boys, and our oldest is almost eleven. I know that he feels a lot of pressure on him to be a good example to his three younger siblings. I tell him I love him all the time, but I had never considered telling him I respect him. This last Tuesday, I was cleaning his room, and I found a note he had written. It said, “Failure=Benjamin.” He is very hard on himself. . . . I was devastated. I knew something had to change, and that something was us, his parents. We need to show him that we respect him. Before he got home from school, I made twelve notes and taped them around his room and hid them in places such as drawers and under his pillow: I love you. I respect you. I respect your ideas. I am so proud of you. You are the most creative person I know. You are a great big brother. As soon as he got home and saw the obvious ones I had posted, he ran to me and gave me a hug! His eyes were sparkling, and he was so excited. He immediately took the notes and made a board that said “compliment board” and taped them all to it. I have written him letters in the past to tell him I love him and how much he means to me (he is very sentimental and has kept every note and letter). But telling him I respect him went over the top. I have made a vow to respect my son and treat him like I want his future spouse to treat him.

"We received our Love & Respect DVDs in the mail today and we just wanted to let you know how excited we are to finally be getting our brothers, sisters, cousins and their spouses and fiancés (and some singles) together to watch them. (Our friends) have done several small groups with their set of DVDs over the last three years, and have seen so many miracles as marriages are strengthened and restored!"

My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.

I have two boys...  I have recently read and listened to this book. I feel like this book has opened my eyes to how much I fail in my conversations with them... The conversations in your book are so foreign to me with my boys. I am at the point now where I can see where I did not respond with respect, now I need to get the vocabulary burned into my brain! It is going to be a process of changing my vocabulary, but I am committed to the long haul! I know it is what my young men need… The biggest mindset change has been with me focusing on spending shoulder to shoulder time with them and watching them doing things...  I now have the freedom to just do stuff with them and not have to talk. This last weekend I was home alone with my [son]. We spent a lot of time talking about whatever was on his mind (he loves to talk), going for walks, playing things he enjoys, and working outside. It was a lot of shoulder to shoulder time. I cannot tell you how many times he said that he just loves spending time with me. This is the same kid that a week ago said that I don't act like I like him. On one walk he said that he was going to stay with me so he could protect me. Later in the weekend I said that I was glad he was with me and that I wasn't alone because I felt safer having him there. He was so energized by that.

My wife and I saw your videos around 5 years ago for the first time and we loved your teachings. We were impressed by how you clearly explained God’s plan for our marriage. However, recently we have had a rough patch and seemed to have forgotten those principles. As by divine intervention, my wife saw an advertisement for the Love and Respect conference taking place near us and she signed us up for it though she was still hurting. We attended this weekend and I will say that it has renewed our commitment to each other. I will say that the live event was even better than what we expected. Thank you for your ministry and may the Lord continue using you.

"Thank you! I began the 15 day plan and then my husband several days later. I had shared a few and that inspired him. It spoke to both of us. We had read your book " Love & Respect" some years ago and we could relate but whether timing or format it really made an impact this time. I see an improvement in my husband and now when we head in the direction of the crazy cycle we recognize it & can laugh instead of argue!...Needless to say we both said we wanted to order the next plan and he has intended to. In fact we hope in the future to use your material to mentor other couples."

"I am finding your emails exceptionally on point for our relationship that was struggling.  We split for about 4.5 months and we have now found our way back to each other by the grace of God. After reading this 3rd email it is as if you were living in our house.  These are the EXACT ways we were both feeling and could not figure out why we could not see each other's perspective.  I - as the female - was doing all the things you describe and he - as the male - was doing all the things you described, and...that is exactly how we both were feeling. Not only have we both signed up for these emails but we have purchased the book and the workbook and have committed to studying together once per week so as to work on our relationship and getting back the the loving couple we once used to be.  So far we have completed chapters 1&2.  We are both excited for this journey.  We have made decisions that our differences can no longer become bigger than US."

Dear Emerson, Wow! After 16 years, 3 kids,  I feel like I should have done a marriage refresher years ago and not waited until a crisis.

...When I look back, it seems to me that the individual lessons were so created that the tension increases with each lesson. It was like a good criminal novel. I found myself in every lesson. Although I had already heard certain content, I experienced them in a completely different way. Maybe more mature. Then came the fifth lesson: My Response is My Responsibility. BAM! The content hit me like "a-ton-of-bricks”, as if it was written for me personally. This lesson exposed my biggest challenge, which has crippled me for many years. Of course, this does not mean my problem with wrong responses will be solved overnight. If I rely on God's Word and ask for the help from the Holy Spirit then it will be easier.

This freed me to realize I was meeting a need that he had equal to my need for love.

"The challenge that was given in each email was very helpful. My wife and I have been married over 20 years and we had something come in between us. This sent our marriage into the crazy cycle. It just uncovered hurts and past events that were already there. Over the time and reading and praying, God revealed I have many past hurts from my upbringing I never dealt with, which are reflected in outbursts when tension arises. ...working through the 15 day challenge, I am learning to LOVE my wife in a deeper way to see her heart not her attacks. I have never needed this 15 day challenge more than I did over the last few months."

My marriage is in the process of being restored with every act of respect I perform. I am now able to lead the way in my relationship with a man I had lost all respect for. The Lord now shows me sweet and genuine reasons for respecting my husband. God is good, and he is faithful, and I will continue to share this message of truth.