Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.