Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.