Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Your words reveal your heart.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.