Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

We are equal but we are not the same.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Your words reveal your heart.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”