Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Your words reveal your heart.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.