Love and Respect Coaster (6) Set

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

We are equal but we are not the same.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.