Love and Respect Coaster (6) Set

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

We are equal but we are not the same.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Your words reveal your heart.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.