Love and Respect Coaster (6) Set

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.