Love and Respect Coaster (6) Set

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Your words reveal your heart.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.