Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Your words reveal your heart.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.