Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.