I was once talking with another man about his marriage, and he shared with me that whenever he and his wife would get into a fight, she would get “historical.” Curious at his choice of words, I asked him if he meant “hysterical.” He replied, “No, historical. She keeps dredging everything up from the past.”Read More
Much has been written and discussed about the “Proverbs 31 woman.” This oracle taught by the king’s mother describes quite the strong woman. - She “works with willing hands” (v. 13).Read More
A woman tends and mends people with problems. A man tends and mends problems that people have. Both tend and mend. But they start in different places. Allow me to explain.
Over the years research has repeatedly found masculine and feminine traits that differ.
Generally speaking, women evidence these traits: gentleness, modesty, humility, sacrifice, supportiveness, empathy, compassion, tenderness, cooperative, connectivity, nurturance, intuitiveness, sensitivity, expressiveness, responsiveness, sentimentality, verbal, and unselfishness. I believe most women agree with these qualities about themselves and view these as evidence that they are caring human beings and wish to be loved because of these qualities.Read More
This article is part the final part in the “What’s Really Going on Here?” Series. Over the span of six articles, we took a look at twelve different stories and begin to ask ourselves, what is really going on in this story? Is the husband overlooking his wife’s need for love? Is the wife overlooking her husband’s need for respect? How can they ever get off of the Crazy Cycle? Don’t Miss These Other Parts in the Series:
I can't stand rules like being told to be kind, loving, and respectful. I'll be anyway I wish to be! Some rules are more like realities. They are the fixed facts of life that govern the essentials of living. They are immutable. Rebel against them and look like the village idiot. For example, we can rebel against the command of nature to eat, drink, and breathe, but why? Worse than looking like an idiot, we’d simply die. When rules reflect reality, why rebel against them?Read More
In part 2 Emerson answers the question, "Where do we go from here?" continuing the discussion of the double standard that confuses some husbands and will definitely confuse young sons who will see men and women as equal but women getting a pass for having attitudes that when manifested in men are condemned as self-centered arrogance. Look at the next couple of episodes for this topic as it relates to men.
Listen to Part 1 HERE.Read More
In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan highlight a double standard that confuses some husbands and will definitely confuse our young sons who will see men and women as equal but women getting a pass for having attitudes that when manifested in men are condemned as self-centered arrogance. Stay tuned for Part II of this topic and then the same topic as it applies to men in the coming weeks.Read More
In part 1, we discussed the double standard that exists in society today that basically allows women to proclaim loudly their desire to be strong and independent in marriages while suppresses and defeats men trying to lead their families. This same double standard also confuses our young boys when they see the same attitude in men and women reacted to in completely opposite ways. But it’s not enough to simply acknowledge that this double standard exists.Read More
Some women live by a double standard which discourages and defeats some husbands and sons. Strong and Independent! For instance, we hear some women exclaim, “In my marriage, I am strong and independent.” But what if the husband were to declare, “In relationship to my wife, I am strong and independent!”? Many women would find that language repulsive. Why can women use this but men cannot? Because there is a double standard.Read More
Some feel that when we talk about what is true of most males we are implying this is untrue of women. When some ladies feel this way, they change the focus to the woman. Why? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss a difficult topic following and expanding upon a recent blog. WARNING: this may be difficult for some to hear and we aren't talking about the volume.Read More
In part 1, we talked about the tendency some women have to hijack a conversation about men needing respect and making it all about their needs as women. These women are not mean-spirited but they take over the conversation and completely ignore the male’s need. Some recent Facebook interactions I had provide a great example of this.
Last week I posted three articles on Facebook. The first two challenged the husband (reaching together nearly 500,000 people). I titled them:Read More
If I say, “Men really like sports,” some women (a small but vocal percentage) retort, “I can’t believe you just said that! Women really like sports, and let me tell you why women like sports. In fact, you need to know about the sports women are playing, why affirmative action supports more women in sports, and why women would have been more interested in sports had this culture been fairer to women years earlier."
In hearing these women express their thoughts, we quickly lose sight of the original statement, “Men really like sports."
It is no longer about the man. It is about the woman.Read More
When a wife complains, “I have nothing to wear,” she means she has nothing new to wear. When a husband complains, “I have nothing to wear,” he means he has nothing clean to wear. In this instance, both say the exact same thing. “I have nothing to wear.” However, both mean something different. Why?
Because this humorous point brings home a simple truth that we too often miss: men and women differ.
She filters her life through her priorities and felt needs as a woman and he filters his world through his priorities and felt needs as a man.Read More
I recently received this powerful testimony from a wife. By sharing it, I hope you will be encouraged in your marriage.
God has been burdening my heart the last few weeks about a topic that I want (and don’t want) to discuss. I am not even sure how to approach the subject, so here is my best attempt.
Once you become a Christian you enter the spiritual battle between good and evil (Romans 7:15-25, 1 Timothy 6:12). Sometimes you can get so weary in the battle. Sometimes you feel like you are the only one fighting. Everyone else seems so happy, but you have so much turmoil inside. Others might look at you and think you are happy, but you know that you are not. You know you are struggling. You know you want to give up. You know you just can’t do this fighting anymore.Read More
Many wives and mothers have written to me saying, "I had no idea how disrespectful I was to my husband and son. Once I learned that I communicate with “a look” of contempt and with a tone of disgust when I am tired, upset, hurt, frustrated and angry, it made sense to me why my they pulled away from me.”
“Unlike my daughter, who identified with my female emotions, the men in my life did not.Read More
In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan read and discuss a series of recent emails from a wife who is a dynamic leader outside the home. She feels she and her husband may be mismatched and asks if, and how, they should remain together.Read More
Whether you've been through the Love and Respect material many times in the past or only once a long, long time ago, or never, consider one of our small group series.
Go through a series with your spouse, soon-to-be-spouse, church community and friends, or give it as a gift to someone who could use a little encouragement and hope this holiday season. Then watch as this "relationship secret hidden in plain sight" begins to impact marriages and families for generations to come!Read More