Dr. E, "The Bible says love is the greatest. Love is all that matters, not all this respect stuff. Love is enough for my husband. That's how I feel." When the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:13 that love is the greatest, the Apostle Paul restricts the comparison to faith and hope. Of faith, hope, and love, love is the greatest.Paul does not have honor, respect, and glory in mind in this context. Why is this important to know?Read More
We all know that a dad ought to love his daughter unconditionally. All would define love as unconditional. Love with “conditions” is not love at all. But what about respect toward a teenage boy? Should mom show unconditional respect?
Many in the culture argue that a boy (or anyone) must earn respect. He must be respectable to be respected. To put it this way, if mom respects her disobedient boy, she will be respecting bad behavior and giving him license to disobey even more. Instead, she must give no such respect!Read More
A mom expresses,
“I live with a house full of male testosterone. We even had a male dog! I am having conflict with my 11 year old and it is driving me nuts. How do I show my boys that I can see through blue glasses and blue hearing aids? As you might be able to hear, I am trying to figure out this respect thing and am finding it kinda difficult. Getting a handle on this is something I want to do, but I am not sure how. I even had to look up the word respect to see what it really meant. I am in prayer about this.”Read More
In Part 1, we began a discussion about the three ways one might go about for sabotaging, and ultimately killing their marriage: motive, means and opportunity. We left the conversation with a question: In the event there is no adultery or desertion, can a person divorce for another reason?
The Apostle Paul addresses this based on the words of Jesus. Paul allows the innocent party to physically separate, but not divorce.
In 1 Corinthians 7:10,11 he writes,Read More
In the BBC television series set on the Caribbean island of St. Marie, Death in Paradise, the lead character, Chief Inspector Richard Poole, brilliantly cracks mystery murders. With his aspiring, ragtag team of investigators, he pursues three evidences pointing toward the guilty party: motive, means, and opportunity. In the whodunit types, sex and money are usually the motive, though jealousy and revenge swirl about. However, any number of reasons can serve as a person’s motive to kill.Read More
A wife wrote to me with her objections saying, “Dr. E., because I care, I get disrespectful. My husband won't listen to me otherwise. My love is behind my disrespect.” However, I will argue that it is impossible for a wife's love to be the motivating factor behind her disrespectful treatment of her husband.Read More
A wife wrote to me saying, "I'm trusting God to heal and restore my marriage and my family. I hurt them deeply. I've known my husband for over 32 years, been married nearly 24 years…
“I cheated and lied about my adultery…My husband sought after counseling for us in the clinical world and then through our church. I was consumed with guilt and shame during counseling and I didn't trust God to help us. I knew he would be devastated, so I lied.Read More
What should we say to the person who dismisses the Love and Respect approach to relationships by declaring their situation is too complex and the message is too simple? First, seek to agree with the reality of difficult times. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:1-5,
"But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power."Read More
Did you miss Part 1? Check it out HERE. Did bad things happen to those to whom Jeremiah wrote? Can we apply the words of Jeremiah 29:11 to our lives today even in the face of tragedy and difficult circumstances? I have two thoughts about this. Watch the video or read the text below to find out more. The promise of God may take decades to come to pass.Read More
A social experiment was conducted in Italy with boys ranging from 7 to 11 years old: "The boys are introduced to Martina, who has a giggly, lovestruck effect on all the young admirers. When asked to caress her, the boys do not hesitate to stroke her cheek in a gesture of intimacy. When asked to make a funny face at her, they do so. However, when the boys are asked to slap Martina, they all look surprised and confused. Obviously torn between wanting to obey and their own moral objections, all of the boys eventually shake their heads at the unseen camera crew, refusing to comply. When asked why they wouldn't slap her, all of the boys responded that they did not want to hurt her, or that they did not believe in violence. All agreed that they should never hit girls. Why? 'Cause I'm a man!’ replied one of the boys." Powerful!Read More
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” --Winston Churchill (1874-1965), Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Such words take on profound meaning in times of life and death, as they did in the days of World War II. There are lesser battles, yet very real, and there is a battle every parent encounters that tests the heart. Sarah and I can recall many moments when we felt like failures as parents. Looking back on it now, we realize that the failures of the day were not fatal and the successes of tomorrow were not final! We had a decision to make. Would we let defeat defeat us as parents?Read More
Watch the above video which has a clip about a homeless man offering money to those who walk by him on the street. The homeless man is an actor who wished to discover people’s reactions when the beggar seeks to give instead of receive. What you see will shock you.
I found the scenes chilling. People found his offer disgusting and cursed at him. They revealed the human heart that declares,Read More
When we say that God commands a wife to respect her husband we are not saying that God commands the wife to feel respect for her husband. She may feel little to no respect for him because of his reprehensible actions. No person on the planet should feel respect for what is not intrinsically respectable.
So then, what do we mean by respecting one’s husband?Read More
When we say that God commands a husband to love his wife, we are not saying that God commands the husband to feel love for his wife. He may feel little to no love for her because of her reprehensible actions. No person on the planet should feel love for what is not intrinsically lovable.
So then, what do we mean by loving one’s wife?Read More
How did you get here? Did you run a Google search for “marriage helps,” recognizing that you need help on a marital concern that leaves you feeling helpless? You might have hoped that a search for “marriage helps” would produce a fairly easy answer. You might have thought, “Perhaps a thoughtful individual will furnish a timely nugget of truth to assist with my marriage difficulty."Read More
A wife complains to her husband saying, "I feel fat and ugly, and I have nothing to wear!” The next day at the Christian bookstore, his eyes catch the book, Dieting for the Christian Woman. The subtitle is, “Post-holiday Menus.” Viewing the diet book more as a cookbook, he buys it. When he gives her the book at home, she goes ballistic. He thinks he’s just witnessed a rocket launch at Cape Canaveral.Read More