We read in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” It is from this verse that we get the well-known saying that a husband “leaves and cleaves.” But for the husband who interprets this scriptural command to “leave and cleave” and become “one flesh” as purely sexual, I have some disappointing news to share with them. For most wives, cleaving does indeed mean a face-to-face closeness, but not in a sexual way. For her, this face-to-face closeness entails talking about the things that matter to her.Read More
I once stayed in the home of Bernhard Langer, two-time winner of the Masters, one of the PGA Tour’s four major tournaments. As a result of the positive effect my Love and Respect ministry had on their marriage, he and his wife, Vikki, asked me to spend several days at their home, and during that time, he shared his personal story with me.
In 1985 when he won the Masters for the first time at Augusta, Georgia, the announcers ushered him into the infamous cabin where one of them asked him, “Did you look at the leaderboard?” Bernhard replied, “I was trying not to look, but I saw it for the first time at the ninth; and I thought, ‘Jesus Christ, I am playing well, and I am four shots behind!’”Read More
I told this story because a while later, I was still struggling with my identity. Would I be left in the shadows as a nobody compared to all the students who excelled at everything way beyond me? Did I have value? And most of this centered on my relationship to God. Did God really love me? Was I fooling myself about how God felt about me? Was I really a reject in God's eyes as I struggled with my failings and and immaturity? There were times I'd awaken in the middle of the night wondering about how God felt about me. One such time as I laid there it was as though God Himself spoke gently to my heart, "If Evan Welsh, a mere man, could love you that much, would I love you less?"Read More
As a child of God who has confessed your sins and chosen to follow Jesus, have you ever asked yourself what all exactly this means? How did this decision change your identity? How did it change your position, now, here on earth and in eternity? Because of your belief in what Jesus Christ did on the cross for you, it is extremely important that you recognize exactly how God the Father now views you and what this means for you personally.Read More
The following prayer is for anyone going through deep waters in his or her marriage and needing God’s sustaining love and help. Lord, whether or not my marriage turns around, I know You are using this struggle to reveal more of Yourself to me. I thank You for that because I need You in so many ways right now.Read More
In part 1 we discussed the dynamics found in conflicts involving a male manager with both male and female employees. The love and respect principles are equally as important to consider in work situations that involve a female manager.
What about the female manager toward the female employee? The female manager can be a caring woman who appears unloving to a female employee.Read More
Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part III of this three part series. Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts? Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared? The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons. In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons. Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process.Read More
In part 1 we discussed many of the different gender traits in men and women, proven by science and recognized by most, including Hollywood. These differences are the core reasons why men and women approach problems differently, in the way they tend and mend others. But is it possible that these differences can actually complement each other, rather than conflict with each other, when it comes to men and women approaching problems together?Read More
Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts? Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared? The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons. In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons. Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process. Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part I of this series.Read More
This article is part 5 of 6 in the “What’s Really Going on Here?” Series. Over the span of six articles, I want us to take a look at twelve different stories and begin to ask ourselves, what is really going on in this story? Is the husband overlooking his wife’s need for love? Is the wife overlooking her husband’s need for respect? How can they ever get off of the Crazy Cycle? Don’t Miss These Other Parts in the Series:
When we miscommunicate, most people readily forgive when we ask them to forgive us. After all, they themselves have misspoken and have little interest in throwing stones. This is especially so when they see us making an honest mistake. What drives people nuts is when they feel that we spoke or wrote something that was designed to hurt or offend them, and we have no intentions of owning up to it, apologizing, and correcting our error. Join Emerson and Jonathan this as they discuss this topic and some examples of what to do if we hurt someone long ago. Also check out a recent publicized example of an apology HERE.Read More
I can't stand rules like being told to be kind, loving, and respectful. I'll be anyway I wish to be! Some rules are more like realities. They are the fixed facts of life that govern the essentials of living. They are immutable. Rebel against them and look like the village idiot. For example, we can rebel against the command of nature to eat, drink, and breathe, but why? Worse than looking like an idiot, we’d simply die. When rules reflect reality, why rebel against them?Read More
If the roles were reversed, we'd expect another to confess to us. If another was mean to us, blamed us for their unkind reactions, made light of their unkindnesses since they meant no harm, and justified or denied their personal unresolved issues contributing to their hostilities and contempt toward us, we'd be up in arms. We'd be saying, "Wow, can't you at least humbly apologize for your part?"
We need to apply the same medicine to ourselves that we recommend to others.Read More
Some of us declare, "It's my life. I make the rules. Keep your nose out of my affairs." At one level such independence is commendable and noble. But what occurs when you say to another, "If I wish to communicate what is untrue, unkind, unnecessary, and unclear to you, I will, and it's none of your business"? No one responds to a person like that. But what if certain rules and principles are sacred? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they talk about the kindness rule and how inviting it can be in marriage and life.Read More
A woman wrote to me: "My husband has expressed that he does not love me and now is involved with another woman. I have read your book and have applied many things concerning this respect message. For instance, my husband even saved the ‘respect’ letters that I wrote to him. Any suggestions on how long I keep saying this or what else I can do to help him realize that our marriage is worth saving? Right now with him it seems to be hot one day and cold the next. Please help."Read More
None of us can stand it when people are unfriendly and mean-spirited toward us. We know kindness is fundamental to building trust whether in the family, the neighborhood, the legislature, or the workplace. We avoid unsympathetic, inconsiderate, and nasty neighbors, and we take our business elsewhere when a store owner treats us in an uncaring and callous way.
But when we are pushed to the edge and feel kindness is getting us nowhere, do we turn unpleasant, disagreeable, and uncivil?Read More
If you say to your spouse, "I know what I mean, I just cannot say it," you will leave them in the dark. What is a husband supposed to do with a statement like: "I need you to love me, and I know what that means, but I just cannot explain it to you"? As a wife, if you know what it means but cannot say it, you don't know what you mean. Thus, it is unfair to expect your husband to know what it means and looks like.
The same holds true for a husband who declares,…Read More
In part 1 and part 2, we discussed the first three categories I have found in which most believers who find themselves angry with God fall. In the third and final part, we’ll take a look at the last category—raging when foolish.
When Foolish, Do I Rage Against God?
There is a fourth reason people rage against God. They do something stupid that brings about suffering and ruin and then they shake a fist at God.Read More