Posts tagged Separation
What Keeps You Motivated When the Love and Respect Are Not Reciprocal?

This should in no way be surprising to hear, but simply realizing the causes and effects of the Crazy Cycle does not mean you and your spouse will stop taking spins on them. Learning about her pink way of communicating and interpreting the world, as opposed to your blue perspective on life, does not mean you will always like her pink way of going about things or that she will always speak to you in a way that your blue hearing aids correctly interpret as a respectful response. And even if a wife always keeps Ephesians 5:33 at the forefront of her mind and shows unconditional respect, reinforced by the greatest Respect Talk known to man, this does not mean her husband will love her perfectly, all the time, in a way that is music to her pink ears.

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Ask a Different Question: How (Bad) Good Is Your Marriage?

How bad is your marriage? What bothers you at this very moment concerning your spouse? Is your husband stonewalling you? Is your wife complaining far too much? Is the reverse true?

Do you want your husband to be more romantic? Do you wish your wife would desire to be sexually intimate with you more often than she normally does? Is the reverse true?

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Whatever Happened, You Can Still Move Forward as a Love and Respect Team

Have you ever meditated on 1 Corinthians 7:11, which says, ". . . (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife"? What's the backstory to this verse? Paul does not mention adultery or abandonment in this text—the two traditional justifications for biblical divorce—so it is safe to infer that biblical grounds for divorce are not in play here. He simply says that the husband is not to divorce and the wife should not marry someone else in the event that she leaves her husband.

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Should You Read a Letter Like This to Your Family This Thanksgiving?

A wife shared with me the following letter that she read aloud to her family on Thanksgiving 2007:“Every Thanksgiving we usually go around the table and say what we are thankful for before saying grace. This is usually a very easy task for me because God has blessed me so much, with three healthy children that I am able to stay home with, a beautiful home, my own health, good relationships with all of my family members, and the list could go on and on.

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Is This Husband 1% Right? 50% Right? 99% Right? Explain Your Answer

Emerson Eggerichs here. In a blog I wrote entitled “My Wife Is Leaving Me,” I quote the testimony of a husband who did not hear the cry of his wife’s heart until she left. That Facebook post reached half a million people in 18 hours. Within that period we had nearly 200 comments, most of which provided great insight.

One husband’s response caught my eye, however.

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Feel Stupid and Wrong? Part 1: Divorce is Not the Remedy

Listen to this husband who wrote me: My wife and I have had problems in our marriage for a while . . . I believe we have a much bigger problem in our marriage than my wife does . . . I have hit rock bottom and am truly unhappy. I find my wife more and more controlling and manipulative as I am the one who always has to purposely "lose" a fight/argument before she gets happy. I am very concerned about my wife's happiness and if she is not happy I can't be happy either. So, I have to be the one who is always wrong and lose the arguments to make her happy. However, I remain unhappy. This leaves me miserable and I can't take it anymore. One of the things she complains to me about is that I am not supportive enough . . .

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Does God Want Me To Divorce To Be Happy? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 102

“God wants you to be happy.” Have you heard this platitude before? Has it perhaps been spoken to you? Maybe you’ve even heard it said in the context of someone being encouraged to divorce their spouse, because “God wants you to be happy.” However, some platitudes, though quite memorable, are not based on biblical truth. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important topic.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Read the transcript HERE.

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Within Five Years, Your Unhappy Marriage Will Turn Happy

President Ronald Reagan joked, “I won't say their marriage is unhappy, but the husband went down to the marriage license bureau to see if the license had expired.” Are you unhappy? Do you want “out” of your marriage? Do you want a divorce? Do not quit!

The Happy News About Being Unhappy

Research found that 8 out of 10  who rated their marriages as “very unhappy,” were happily married to the same person five years later.

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Does God Want Me to Divorce to Be Happy?

This can be a controversial topic. Please be sure to read the full post before commenting. “God wants you to be happy.” Have you heard this platitude before? Has it perhaps been spoken to you? Maybe you’ve even heard it said in the context of encouraging someone to divorce their spouse, because “God wants you to be happy.” However, some platitudes, though quite memorable, are not based on biblical truth.

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What if Love and Respect Do Not Work with My Spouse? Part 2

In part 1, we discussed Job and his disrespectful wife and how he was able to love her “as to the Lord,” despite her being a conduit for the devil. Now let’s turn to a biblical example of an unloving husband with a wife who found a way to still respect him.

What about the Respectful Wife?

What about the wife living with a man who turns everybody off?

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God Joined You Together: What Does This Mean? Part 2

In part 1, we discussed the soul-mate idea and nixed the misguided view that God has one and only one person for each of us. The idea of a soul mate distracts people from where they need to focus. [featured-image] First, the focus needs to be on being the right, mature person yourself. This is huge. Some look for the perfect person while they themselves have glaring imperfections but refuse to do an honest assessment of themselves.

They never ask, “Why would a perfect person marry someone as imperfect as me?” But the soul-mate idea makes it easy. “This is about God gifting me with a wonderful person regardless of who I am.”

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God Joined You Together - What Does This Mean? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 084

Does God intend to direct our steps to one and only one person that He designed from eternity past to be our soul-mate? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss the topic of a soul-mate. Whether you are a person looking to get married or have been married for many years but think you married the wrong person, this episode will provide insight.

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3 Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad At Marriage Counseling -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 072

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss some of the difficulties in finding a good Christian marriage counselor. They discuss how some counselors have a difficult time working with couples because of an individualistic approach, how some counselors have a negative male bias, and how some counselors maintain moral neutrality, plus practical recommendations for dealing with these issues.  Whether for you or someone you know, this episode will be helpful for those in or considering marital counseling.

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Is This Husband 1% Right? 99% Right? 50% Right? Explain Your Answer

Emerson Eggerichs here. In a blog I wrote entitled “My Wife Is Leaving Me,” I quote the testimony of a husband who did not hear the cry of his wife’s heart until she left. That Facebook post reached half a million people in 18 hours. Within that period we had nearly 200 comments, most of which provided great insight.

One husband’s response caught my eye, however.

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My Wife Is Leaving Me

This post was also published as a podcast a couple of weeks ago. Check it out HEREWhy does it take the crisis of a wife leaving before a husband awakens to the bad behaviors that caused her to exit? Listen to Greg’s awakening and confession. My wife and I have been separated for 4 months now. I changed into a horrible man after we became married and did not handle many things right. I said many horrible and hurtful things to her and broke her heart. . . . The day she left, I found God. . . . He touched my heart and took my anger, frustration away. I have been working on me ever since to become a better man, better than I was even when we fell in love. She filed for divorce a month ago. I cannot sign the papers. . . . I really need my family back, my marriage and my wife's love again. He humbly confesses the horrible and hurtful things he did to break her heart.

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Is It Time to Split Up?—Part 2

(If you haven't read Part 1 of this post, make sure you do so before continuing!) We have established that the “man” Jesus refers to in Matthew 9:5–6 who is putting the marriage asunder is the husband and/or wife in the marriage, not the third party too many people are quick to blame. However, Jesus has also in this verse given us three motivations to avoid putting the marriage asunder: 1) God 2) Hath 3) Joined Together.

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