Posts tagged Parenting Roles
Your Parents’ Marital Problems Do Not Have to Become Yours Too

Have you ever realized that the most impactful influence on your children’s marriage—whether they are two years old and barely able to say “da-da” or twenty-two and about to walk down the aisle—is your marriage? Yes, you! Your marriage to their mom or dad teaches them both directly and indirectly how a married couple works together.

This certainly includes the way you love and respect each other. Your kids may not yet have learned the biblical emphasis on love and respect or even be old enough to know what “respect” means, but they are learning all about it nonetheless . . . from you!

Read More
How to Connect with Your Adult Son

Every mother wishes to connect emotionally with her adult son. However, sons can be a bit more independent and distant than daughters, who stay more connected with their moms and not infrequently wish to live near their mothers or talk regularly with their moms. An adult son typically moves out and intends to start a family with a wife, and generally is more autonomous. Jesus said, “a man shall leave his father and mother” (Mark 10:7). This is normal for a young man to do.

Read More
How One Mother’s Respect-Talk Found the Hero in Her Son

In my book Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, I share the need for not only your husband to feel and hear your respect, but your son as well, no matter his age. Even your preschooler has a “man inside the boy” who naturally responds to words of respect, as little Samuel’s mother learned and applied in her relationship with her son. Read about her experience with using Respect-Talk and ask yourself how you might begin applying the same with your son:

Dear Dr. Emerson,

Read More
Parenting: Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement? Part II -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 123

Emerson and Jonathan continue this important topic in part 2 this week, including adding a third component of apathy. What is the Issue? Children need to honor parents and show this in their respectful attitude and obedient actions.  However, many parents do not always feel respected nor obeyed so they seek methods that will motivate the child to be respectful and obedient. How do we deal with this Issue? There are right ways of dealing with this and wrong ways.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Read More
Parenting: Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement? Part I -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 122

What is the Issue? Children need to honor parents and show this in their respectful attitude and obedient actions.  However, many parents do not always feel respected nor obeyed so they seek methods that will motivate the child to be respectful and obedient. How do we deal with this Issue? There are right ways of dealing with this and wrong ways. Join Emerson and Jonathan in Part I this week as they explore this topic.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Read More
You Are Not Predestined to Argue the Same Way Your Parents Did

A teenage boy was feeling sorry for himself, feeling as though his mother didn't love him. He said to her, "If you don't love me, why'd you have me?" The mother shot back, "Well, we didn't know it was going to be you." All of us came into this world by way of two parents. There are no exceptions to this. Regardless, there are no perfect parents. In fact, there was once a convention held for adult children of normal parents. No one attended.

Because we have imperfect parents, not only do we have to deal with their issues but we also inherit many of them.

Read More
Can Silence From a Mom Cause a Son to Speak?

I asked our son David on the first day of 5th grade, “So how was your day?” “Good.” “Anything exciting happen?” “No.” “What did you do?” “Nothing.” Second Day: “So David how was your day?” “Good.” “Anything exciting happen?” “No.” “What did you do?” “Nothing.” And so the conversation continued like this for the rest of the week until Friday when he said, “Mom, it’s the same everyday. If anything changes, I’ll let you know!”

Read More
What is so Unique About Emerson's Message to Mothers? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 093

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss Emerson's most recent book, Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, a book that Emerson sees as an encyclopedia of information that a mom can turn to during various moments of conflict with her son. In this episode three topics are discussed: The Message of Respect is unique compared to the message of love; The Outcome of Respect is unique according to mothers; and The Thirst for Respect is unique in boys compared to girls.

Read More
One Simple Way To Better Connect With Your Son

The #1 application of the Love and Respect message beyond marriage is by moms who apply to their sons what they learned from our book or at our conference.

This mother read the “Parenting Pink and Blue” chapter in Love and Respect in the Family and applied it to her daily interactions with her son.

Here is the “respect effect.”

She writes,

Read More
How To Keep The Romance Going With A New Baby

With a 6 month-old to care for, time is at a premium around our house. And I worry that he's feeling pushed to the wayside - or that maybe even I will start to feel pushed to the wayside soon. How can I keep the romance going and let him know he's still my perfect match on a regular basis?

ANSWER:

I deeply appreciate your sensitivity to your husband.  You are thinking wisely and pro-actively.  For example, you will do fine if you voice this kind of thing on a regular basis: "You mean the world to me and are my perfect match."

Read More
What Every Son Needs From His Mother

As I’ve traveled the world over the last two decades exploring the dynamic of healthy family relationships, one thing has become abundantly clear: A boy needs his mother’s respect. Not only her love, but also her respect. That’s the message of my upcoming book, Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, and I believe that it will transform your relationship with your son in ways you’ve only dreamed about. It won’t be because of my writing. In fact, I’ll try hard not to get in the way. It will be because the principle is life-changing in its simplicity, and it cuts straight to the deepest part of a boy’s soul.

Read More
Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 069

Many of us look at the things in ourselves that we do not like and at the negative reactions from people we do not like, and we wonder, "Do these problems exist in my life because of my parents? If they had been better parents, or had treated me better, then surely I’d be a better person with fewer personal and interpersonal problems, right?" Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important issue.

Read More
Parenting God's Way, Part 1 -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 067

Hear Emerson speak on the topic of parenting this week.  A powerful two part sermon on why we parent God's way, this topic will be enlightening and freeing to many people.  Whether a parent in crisis, a parent who has it all together right now, a parent with grown children, or someone who is not even a parent yet, this will impact you.

Read More
Do You Get at the Heart of the Matter When Disciplining Your Child?

1 Kings 1:6 reads, "His father had never crossed him at any time by asking, 'Why have you done so?'" A father took away his 16 year old son’s driving privileges for one month for reckless driving.  I asked the dad, “During that month, was your son remorseful and humble?” The dad said, “No. He showed me nothing but anger and disrespect. I didn’t let him drive but he made my life miserable.” The discipline did not fully work because the son’s heart did not change.

Read More
Does a Failing Marriage Hinder One From Having Godly Children?

A mother wrote, "My daughter called and was complaining about her life. I suggested that she needed to look to God for answers. She let me know that she has lost a lot of her faith because of how she has viewed [her dad’s and my] marriage relationship. . . . It grieves me to see how [our marriage] affects our daughters and their relationships because of what they have lived and learned."

A husband shared with me: “I put awful pain in my wife’s heart and never realized what might have been at the core. My actions, my thoughts, and my behaviors are at the core of my problems. Your book, Love and Respect, has opened my eyes. Painfully, our children have suffered from our lack of love and respect."

Read More
One Simple Way to Encourage A Discouraged Child

I entered military school at age 13. But in the first several weeks I became very homesick and wanted to quit. My mom called the commandant for wisdom. Both knew homesickness was common but mom didn’t know what to say.

Colonel Bailey said he’d personally meet with me to encourage me.

How did he encourage me? He told me I was normal and this would soon pass.

Read More
How Should A Sister Treat Her Brother?

Does our culture really understand boys? Generally speaking, the mindset is all about teaching boys how to treat girls. A mother writes,

"Two of my children are attending an essay class. Last week they were told to write an essay entitled, ‘How Should a Gentleman Treat a Lady?’ or ‘How Should a Lady Treat a Gentleman?’ Everyone chose the first option. My daughter, without being prompted, offered an explanation, ‘There is more material available to answer the first question!’”

Because girls exercise greater sensitivity and empathy, the thinking is to stay on boys to teach them to be sensitive and empathetic.

Read More