Posts tagged Parenting Advice
Your Parents’ Marital Problems Do Not Have to Become Yours Too

Have you ever realized that the most impactful influence on your children’s marriage—whether they are two years old and barely able to say “da-da” or twenty-two and about to walk down the aisle—is your marriage? Yes, you! Your marriage to their mom or dad teaches them both directly and indirectly how a married couple works together.

This certainly includes the way you love and respect each other. Your kids may not yet have learned the biblical emphasis on love and respect or even be old enough to know what “respect” means, but they are learning all about it nonetheless . . . from you!

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How to Connect with Your Adult Son

Every mother wishes to connect emotionally with her adult son. However, sons can be a bit more independent and distant than daughters, who stay more connected with their moms and not infrequently wish to live near their mothers or talk regularly with their moms. An adult son typically moves out and intends to start a family with a wife, and generally is more autonomous. Jesus said, “a man shall leave his father and mother” (Mark 10:7). This is normal for a young man to do.

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How One Mother’s Respect-Talk Found the Hero in Her Son

In my book Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, I share the need for not only your husband to feel and hear your respect, but your son as well, no matter his age. Even your preschooler has a “man inside the boy” who naturally responds to words of respect, as little Samuel’s mother learned and applied in her relationship with her son. Read about her experience with using Respect-Talk and ask yourself how you might begin applying the same with your son:

Dear Dr. Emerson,

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Parenting: Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement? Part II -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 123

Emerson and Jonathan continue this important topic in part 2 this week, including adding a third component of apathy. What is the Issue? Children need to honor parents and show this in their respectful attitude and obedient actions.  However, many parents do not always feel respected nor obeyed so they seek methods that will motivate the child to be respectful and obedient. How do we deal with this Issue? There are right ways of dealing with this and wrong ways.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

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Parenting: Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement? Part I -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 122

What is the Issue? Children need to honor parents and show this in their respectful attitude and obedient actions.  However, many parents do not always feel respected nor obeyed so they seek methods that will motivate the child to be respectful and obedient. How do we deal with this Issue? There are right ways of dealing with this and wrong ways. Join Emerson and Jonathan in Part I this week as they explore this topic.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

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You Are Not Predestined to Argue the Same Way Your Parents Did

A teenage boy was feeling sorry for himself, feeling as though his mother didn't love him. He said to her, "If you don't love me, why'd you have me?" The mother shot back, "Well, we didn't know it was going to be you." All of us came into this world by way of two parents. There are no exceptions to this. Regardless, there are no perfect parents. In fact, there was once a convention held for adult children of normal parents. No one attended.

Because we have imperfect parents, not only do we have to deal with their issues but we also inherit many of them.

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Why We Should Confess Our Unloving and Disrespectful Comments

If the roles were reversed, we'd expect another to confess to us. If another was mean to us, blamed us for their unkind reactions, made light of their unkindnesses since they meant no harm, and justified or denied their personal unresolved issues contributing to their hostilities and contempt toward us, we'd be up in arms. We'd be saying, "Wow, can't you at least humbly apologize for your part?"

We need to apply the same medicine to ourselves that we recommend to others.

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Different Views on Sex and Parenting: How to Avoid Marital Crisis

Husbands and wives have many hot topics, but not many rate higher than sex and childrearing techniques. Yes, we can throw finances, in-laws, and work issues into the mix, but sex and childrearing are usually right up there for most couples.

A husband wrote:

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Can Silence From a Mom Cause a Son to Speak?

I asked our son David on the first day of 5th grade, “So how was your day?” “Good.” “Anything exciting happen?” “No.” “What did you do?” “Nothing.” Second Day: “So David how was your day?” “Good.” “Anything exciting happen?” “No.” “What did you do?” “Nothing.” And so the conversation continued like this for the rest of the week until Friday when he said, “Mom, it’s the same everyday. If anything changes, I’ll let you know!”

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As a Mom, What Do I Do When I Feel Tired and Hurt?

You give, give, and give. But the Bible provides a warning: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9). A mother who does good toward her son day after day can grow weary and lose heart when she does not observe any fruitful reaping.

When her boy does not listen and willfully disobeys, he can wear her out on any given day.

When exhausted, she can let down her guard. She can let go of controlling her emotions. On top of this, if she is feeling horrible about herself, who cares? She lets it rip against her boy.

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Why Do Good-Willed Husbands Feel Frustrated? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 091

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan look at a specific example of a husband and wife disagreeing on how they should approach their son, where the husband is reporting significant frustration. Taking the position that mothers and wives are never mean-spirited in such situations but that they truly care, Emerson discusses how her fears and care have unintended consequences toward the good willed husband.

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One Simple Way To Better Connect With Your Son

The #1 application of the Love and Respect message beyond marriage is by moms who apply to their sons what they learned from our book or at our conference.

This mother read the “Parenting Pink and Blue” chapter in Love and Respect in the Family and applied it to her daily interactions with her son.

Here is the “respect effect.”

She writes,

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How To Keep The Romance Going With A New Baby

With a 6 month-old to care for, time is at a premium around our house. And I worry that he's feeling pushed to the wayside - or that maybe even I will start to feel pushed to the wayside soon. How can I keep the romance going and let him know he's still my perfect match on a regular basis?

ANSWER:

I deeply appreciate your sensitivity to your husband.  You are thinking wisely and pro-actively.  For example, you will do fine if you voice this kind of thing on a regular basis: "You mean the world to me and are my perfect match."

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What Every Son Needs From His Mother

As I’ve traveled the world over the last two decades exploring the dynamic of healthy family relationships, one thing has become abundantly clear: A boy needs his mother’s respect. Not only her love, but also her respect. That’s the message of my upcoming book, Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, and I believe that it will transform your relationship with your son in ways you’ve only dreamed about. It won’t be because of my writing. In fact, I’ll try hard not to get in the way. It will be because the principle is life-changing in its simplicity, and it cuts straight to the deepest part of a boy’s soul.

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Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 069

Many of us look at the things in ourselves that we do not like and at the negative reactions from people we do not like, and we wonder, "Do these problems exist in my life because of my parents? If they had been better parents, or had treated me better, then surely I’d be a better person with fewer personal and interpersonal problems, right?" Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important issue.

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Parenting God's Way, Part 1 -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 067

Hear Emerson speak on the topic of parenting this week.  A powerful two part sermon on why we parent God's way, this topic will be enlightening and freeing to many people.  Whether a parent in crisis, a parent who has it all together right now, a parent with grown children, or someone who is not even a parent yet, this will impact you.

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Do You Get at the Heart of the Matter When Disciplining Your Child?

1 Kings 1:6 reads, "His father had never crossed him at any time by asking, 'Why have you done so?'" A father took away his 16 year old son’s driving privileges for one month for reckless driving.  I asked the dad, “During that month, was your son remorseful and humble?” The dad said, “No. He showed me nothing but anger and disrespect. I didn’t let him drive but he made my life miserable.” The discipline did not fully work because the son’s heart did not change.

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