Posts tagged Motivation
Love and Respect Is a Daily Practice, Not a One-Time Fix

One day I received the following message from a husband that encouraged me greatly, as do so many letters I receive from people who have discovered the Love and respect message: The reason we came to the conference was because my pastor found out that I had filed for divorce. And he asked if I would go see you. I was so bitter at this point, I told my pastor that I would apply it in my next marriage. He said, “Okay, I'll pay for the weekend. Just go!” And I really thought nothing you would say could change my mind. It was the most eye-opening weekend of my life. [My wife] and I both wanted the divorce but we really had no good reason, just unhappy. Your conference turned on all kinds of light bulbs for both of us. And it saved our marriage. Emerson, God is using you in a big way. I just wanted to say thank you.

If only this couple had taken to heart Paul’s warning in 1 Corinthians 10:12, which says, “let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.”

Read More
How To Discover God's Will For Your Life

Since some variation of the words “the will of God” or the “Father’s will” occur more than twenty times in the New Testament, it is fair to assume “the will of God” exists and can be known. The apostle Paul commands us to “understand what the will of the Lord is” (Ephesians 5:17). Jesus uses the expression when He addresses God with the words, “Your will be done” in what has come to be known as the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:10). Yes, God has a will that we must discover and do from the heart.

Read More
What Do You Believe About God's Revelation?

When I became a believer as a young man, I came across certain scriptures that shaped my thinking. Not only have these verses instilled in me an excitement that the God of the universe has not remained silent but instead has spoken loud and clear, but it has also been affirmed for me that the Scriptures are not the mere words of men that I may pick and choose what I want to believe and follow.

May I ask you if any scriptures have developed in you the same worldview?

Read More
A Husband's Unconditional Love Works!

Would it surprise you to hear me say that there is no better method for a husband to use to better energize, motivate, and influence his wife than to simply love her unconditionally? When a wife recognizes that her husband has decided to be a man who authentically and consistently loves her no matter her response, she comes under conviction about her disrespectful reactions to him.

When a wife discerns that her husband is not loving her based on her performance, but for the woman she is deep in her heart and for who God made her to be, this convicts and softens her.

Read More
An Addict Discovers the “Secret” of Ephesians 5:33

“This book saved my marriage,” a man recently wrote me. He went on: I read your book Love and Respect, and I felt the need to reach out and say thank you. I'm a thirty-year-old man who has gone in and out of several addictions. Sex, porn, drugs—legal and illegal—and alcohol. I've totally burned my wife's trust and for several years now we have been on the brink of divorce. This book opened my eyes for why I do what I do, what I'm looking for, and most importantly, what I need to be giving.

Read More
A Thankful Heart Forgives

Forgiving, as hard as it is, is not an option for the believer. Jesus prayed, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). John made it clear that forgiveness is evidence of God’s work in us. In 1 John 4:19-21, he wrote: “We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.”

Read More
A Wife Respects and then Receives the Love She Desires

Women want to be loved by their husbands. Adored. Desired. Cherished. That should not be a surprise to anyone. You would be hard-pressed to find someone who would dispute a woman’s desire for love. But sadly, just because a woman desires love more than anything else from her husband, and even though he may say that he absolutely adores her with all his heart, that does not mean she always feels loved by him. And not feeling loved by the one she needs to feel loved by the most can cause a significant gap between her and her husband.

Read More
What Came First—the Chicken or the Egg?

In marriage one spouse tends to assign blame to the other for starting the marital troubles.  For example, in courtship the husband was very talkative but after marriage he talked less, even withdrawing and stonewalling during conflict. 

From the wife’s perspective, this was a bait-and-switch trick. He tricked her into thinking he was a communicative person but after marriage refused to meet her emotional need to connect  via sharing hearts and feelings.

Read More
How to Connect with Your Adult Son

Every mother wishes to connect emotionally with her adult son. However, sons can be a bit more independent and distant than daughters, who stay more connected with their moms and not infrequently wish to live near their mothers or talk regularly with their moms. An adult son typically moves out and intends to start a family with a wife, and generally is more autonomous. Jesus said, “a man shall leave his father and mother” (Mark 10:7). This is normal for a young man to do.

Read More
How to Share the Love and Respect Message: It’s This Simple!

By far, the most rewarding part of Love and Respect Ministries over the years has been the countless stories I have heard from others whose lives and marriages have been impacted greatly by the books, the studies, the conference, or some other part of the ministry. It is truly humbling to see how multiple generations within families and churches are being touched by the Ephesians 5:33 message of Love and Respect.

Read More
Righteous Indignation or Something Else?

When we become angry toward someone because of their unjust or unworthy manner of acting or speaking, we are letting them know they cannot treat us or others this way. We feel righteously indignant, which is more than okay. Jesus, in fact, became righteously indignant toward the money changers who were attempting to profit off of those coming to worship at the temple (Matthew 21:12–13).

Read More
Have You Shown Unconditional Respect?

In our love saturated culture, everyone understands and expects unconditional love. On the other hand, what is your reaction to the phrase “unconditional respect”? In 1 Peter 3:1,2 a wife is instructed that she can win her disobedient husband via her respectful behavior.

These Scriptures say:

Read More
Should You Read a Letter Like This to Your Family This Thanksgiving?

A wife shared with me the following letter that she read aloud to her family on Thanksgiving 2007:“Every Thanksgiving we usually go around the table and say what we are thankful for before saying grace. This is usually a very easy task for me because God has blessed me so much, with three healthy children that I am able to stay home with, a beautiful home, my own health, good relationships with all of my family members, and the list could go on and on.

Read More
The Question Every Husband Must Decode

Growing up I noticed that my dad made a mistake in relationship to my mother. He would get angry and harsh with Mom. It appeared as though he was saying to her, "I'll teach you. I'll get angry in order to teach you to show me more respect. I'll remain embittered until you change. I will be harsh when I feel you are disrespectful."

Read More
8 Ways To Jump Off The Crazy Cycle -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 121

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss 8 ways to prevent and get off the Crazy Cycle (see Episode 1 for a deeper explanation of the Crazy Cycle. Examples include what to do when you see the spirit of your spouse deflate, accepting some trouble as normal, and trusting in each other's goodwill.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Read More
Did God Create Us Equal, But Different?

This article is part the final part in the “What’s Really Going on Here?” Series. Over the span of six articles, we took a look at twelve different stories and begin to ask ourselves, what is really going on in this story? Is the husband overlooking his wife’s need for love? Is the wife overlooking her husband’s need for respect? How can they ever get off of the Crazy Cycle? Don’t Miss These Other Parts in the Series:

  1. She Needs Love, He Needs Respect

  2. Can Apparent Lack of Love and Respect Offend?

  3. God’s Simple Revelation to Stop the Crazy Cycle

  4. The First Sin after Adam and Eve Sinned

  5. Can We Come Across in a Way that Our Spouse Doesn’t See Our Goodwill?

Read More
Can We Come Across in a Way that Our Spouse Doesn’t See Our Goodwill?

This article is part 5 of 6 in the “What’s Really Going on Here?” Series. Over the span of six articles, I want us to take a look at twelve different stories and begin to ask ourselves, what is really going on in this story? Is the husband overlooking his wife’s need for love? Is the wife overlooking her husband’s need for respect? How can they ever get off of the Crazy Cycle? Don’t Miss These Other Parts in the Series:

  1. She Needs Love, He Needs Respect

  2. Can Apparent Lack of Love and Respect Offend?

  3. God’s Simple Revelation to Stop the Crazy Cycle

  4. The First Sin after Adam and Eve Sinned

Read More