Every mother wishes to connect emotionally with her adult son. However, sons can be a bit more independent and distant than daughters, who stay more connected with their moms and not infrequently wish to live near their mothers or talk regularly with their moms. An adult son typically moves out and intends to start a family with a wife, and generally is more autonomous. Jesus said, “a man shall leave his father and mother” (Mark 10:7). This is normal for a young man to do.Read More
More times than I can recall, a wife has attended our Love and Respect Conference and connected the dots that applying respect to her son has also been deeply needed at home. There is even a Crazy Cycle of its own that spins between a mother and her son: without respect a son reacts without love, and without love a mother reacts without respect. I have heard many testimonies like the one below that show the life-changing results that come when a mother understands and begins applying respect to her son as well.Read More
In my book Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, I share the need for not only your husband to feel and hear your respect, but your son as well, no matter his age. Even your preschooler has a “man inside the boy” who naturally responds to words of respect, as little Samuel’s mother learned and applied in her relationship with her son. Read about her experience with using Respect-Talk and ask yourself how you might begin applying the same with your son:
Dear Dr. Emerson,Read More
A man writes to me: Emerson -- I wanted to share with you the note I just sent my mom, sending her links to your most recent book, Mother and Son: The Respect Effect. She raised three boys, all of whom are walking with God, raising godly families, and making a big difference for the Kingdom. Her legacy is amazing....Read More
I asked our son David on the first day of 5th grade, “So how was your day?” “Good.” “Anything exciting happen?” “No.” “What did you do?” “Nothing.” Second Day: “So David how was your day?” “Good.” “Anything exciting happen?” “No.” “What did you do?” “Nothing.” And so the conversation continued like this for the rest of the week until Friday when he said, “Mom, it’s the same everyday. If anything changes, I’ll let you know!”Read More
James says we have not because we ask not, so praying is fundamental (James 4:2).There is power in asking! There is less of God’s power when we do not ask.
We receive less when we are remiss in asking.
But because we ask does not mean we always receive.
Jesus prayed three times for the cup of suffering to pass (Matthew 26:44). The apostle Paul thrice prayed for the thorn in the flesh to be removed (2 Corinthians 12:8).
God did not answer their specific prayers.Read More
You give, give, and give. But the Bible provides a warning: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9). A mother who does good toward her son day after day can grow weary and lose heart when she does not observe any fruitful reaping.
When her boy does not listen and willfully disobeys, he can wear her out on any given day.
When exhausted, she can let down her guard. She can let go of controlling her emotions. On top of this, if she is feeling horrible about herself, who cares? She lets it rip against her boy.Read More
Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss Emerson's most recent book, Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, a book that Emerson sees as an encyclopedia of information that a mom can turn to during various moments of conflict with her son. In this episode three topics are discussed: The Message of Respect is unique compared to the message of love; The Outcome of Respect is unique according to mothers; and The Thirst for Respect is unique in boys compared to girls.Read More
A teacher told me, “The kindergarten classroom is a little more complicated than a normal family setting, but I have so often wished that I could take the mothers of these boys, turn them invisible, and let them see how their sons are (respectfully) treated in our class. Too often, these . . . moms . . . speak very disrespectfully about the father, and have a tendency to make the same mistakes of disrespect with their sons. . . . They tend to bounce back and forth between appeasement and hostility when dealing with their sons.”What a profound observation.Read More
This mother read the “Parenting Pink and Blue” chapter in Love and Respect in the Family and applied it to her daily interactions with her son.
Here is the “respect effect.”
She writes,Read More
As I’ve explored the dynamic of healthy family relationships over the past two decades, one thing has become abundantly clear: a boy needs his mother’s respect. Not only her love, but also her respect. Sarah, my wife, has said for many years,“If I had known this information when my sons were little (they are now in their thirties), I would have been a better mother.”Read More
As I’ve traveled the world over the last two decades exploring the dynamic of healthy family relationships, one thing has become abundantly clear: A boy needs his mother’s respect. Not only her love, but also her respect. That’s the message of my upcoming book, Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, and I believe that it will transform your relationship with your son in ways you’ve only dreamed about. It won’t be because of my writing. In fact, I’ll try hard not to get in the way. It will be because the principle is life-changing in its simplicity, and it cuts straight to the deepest part of a boy’s soul.Read More
A mom expresses,
“I live with a house full of male testosterone. We even had a male dog! I am having conflict with my 11 year old and it is driving me nuts. How do I show my boys that I can see through blue glasses and blue hearing aids? As you might be able to hear, I am trying to figure out this respect thing and am finding it kinda difficult. Getting a handle on this is something I want to do, but I am not sure how. I even had to look up the word respect to see what it really meant. I am in prayer about this.”Read More
How many of you reading this are parents? Probably most. How many of you had parents? I hear you chuckling. Everyone has or had parents. That’s an unnecessary question. Because everyone was born to a man and a woman due to the man’s sperm and the woman’s egg, everyone has parents. Everyone.Read More
IT'S HERE!! The Bible commands love and respect between parent and child (Exodus 20:12, Titus 2:4), just as it teaches love and respect between a husband and wife (Ephesians 5:33). Love and Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire, The Love Children Need is packed full of completely new content....cover to cover.Read More
It has been said that one of the best ways to love a wife is to love her children. One mom shared with us that each night when her husband tucks their 2 girls in bed, he says to them: "I'll always love you no matter what. I'll always be proud of you no matter what. And you can talk to me about anything."Read More
As a child I remember my mother wanting only one thing from us on Mother's Day - that we would obey and try to get along with one another. She said that would mean more to her than any gift. I found myself through the years asking the same of my children. Recently our adult son David, not knowing what to give me, asked if that's still all I wanted. We laughed about that.Read More
One mom applied the respect side of the equation in Ephesians 5:33 to her boys and said, “I'm still amazed how just using the words respect, appreciate, and admire seem to make a great difference so far with my…sons.”
Most wives are mothers, and a good percentage of these moms have sons. After some of these moms read my book - Love and Respect - on marriage, they write things like, “I have seen so much good come out of my reading your book. It literally has changed my relationship with our sons (ages 14 and 10).”