Posts tagged Money
How to Solve Disagreements about Spending Money

Have you heard the joke that says, "A man will pay two dollars for an item he needs that is only worth a dollar, whereas a woman will pay a dollar for an item she doesn't need that is worth two dollars but is on sale”?   Is that always true? Of course not. But people laugh at this because they have heard many women in their lives justifying a purchase because "it was on sale!” On the other hand, while men tend not to do as much shopping as women (though there are exceptions), when they feel they have to have something, they will typically pay more to get it right then and there.

Read More
What To Do When You Have Different Feelings About Money

I'm a spender, my wife is not. I have a hobby that costs money, my wife's interests cost substantially less (close to zero). We both make more than a decent living, pay all our bills and save a lot of money, but I see my wife living in a state of fear and lack (where none exists) and I see the money I do spend on my hobby as adding to my life and bringing me a tremendous amount of joy (it's photography, so it is something I engage with and share with my family regularly). It is as though each of us is waiting for the other to change, which seems highly unlikely. What are some good solutions?

Read More
What Does Regularly Playing the Lotto Do to the Soul?

What would it be like to win $1.5 billion in the lotto and end up taking home over $930 million after taxes? This week Powerball  reached that amount. TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE BUY LOTTO TICKETS

On the one hand there are those who exclaim, “Wow, I would love to win! I will buy a ticket! I have done this a couple times before over the years. The odds are against me, which is why I never play. It is more likely that I will get hit by lightning two times than win. I have 1 in 292,000,000 odds against me! Yet, I have some discretionary cash and, besides, somebody will win, so why not me? You have to be ‘in it to win it'! It will be fun, like in the office when we make a wager on who will win the football game."

Read More
Why The Lies in Marriage?

Please read the pain expressed by the spouses below. I give six examples of the hurt the innocent party feels when discovering their husband or wife lies to them: three examples from wives and three from husbands. Please select one or two of the examples to give brief answers to the two questions that I ask after each example. There is no right or wrong answer; I just want to hear your opinion.

“He lies"


Read More
Why The Deception In Marriage? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 070

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss six examples of the hurt the innocent party feels when discovering their husband or wife lies to them: three examples from wives and three from husbands. Reasons for the lying occurring and what should have been done are discussed. Listeners are encouraged to come up with their own answers, apply to their own relationships and share with others.

Read More
Arrogant Pride Misses The Spirit Of Generosity, Part 2

Remember the scene from yesterday’s post? If you haven’t read the story yet or watched the video, I would encourage you to do so before continuing on. CLICK HERE.

The example of the beggar on the street giving away money may give us a glimpse into the true condition of many people. The folks in the story erupted like volcanoes. They were filled with wrath toward this street person.

His offering of gifts and grace repulsed and angered the passers-by. They felt insulted, incensed and irate. They cursed.

Read More
Arrogant Pride Misses The Spirit of Generosity, Part 1

Watch the above video which has a clip about a homeless man offering money to those who walk by him on the street. The homeless man is an actor who wished to discover people’s reactions when the beggar seeks to give instead of receive. What you see will shock you.

I found the scenes chilling. People found his offer disgusting and cursed at him. They revealed the human heart that declares,

Read More
As We Attack Debt Do We Attack Each Other? [Video]

Jason and Tracy, who live in Chattanooga, Tennessee, both felt the pressure to get out of $15,000 credit card debt - a debt that had them in a chokehold. THEY DECIDE TO BUDGET

Learning of Dave Ramsey’s brilliant and simple system to take baby steps to get out of debt, they decided five months ago to budget.

Their goal: pay off the debt from the credit cards and then visit Dave Ramsey’s headquarters in Nashville to cut up all credit cards in a glorious celebration, joining the tens of thousands before them.

Read More
Why Giving Shows Love To Your Children

My mother was a single parent working full time with very little left over for anything extra. Yet she managed to give to me and my siblings in ways that left us feeling loved and valued.

Having little, giving more

As Emerson and I recently sat at the Dairy Queen, I was reminded again of my mother’s generosity.

Read More
A Husband’s Response To A Wife’s Respect

Many families have experienced loss of income or job changes in our recent economy. Here is a story from Rachel who shares what happened when she put the Love and Respect principles into practice as a working mom!

Hi Emerson,

I want to tell you that I am delighted with the impact that your book has had in my life.  I recently went to a bridal shower where everyone was asked to write down a word of advice.  My advice was to read your book and I wrote something to the effect, “Every husband needs unconditional respect.”

I would get resentful.

Read More
Craziness Happens When the Issue Is No Longer the Issue

Sam leaves his dirty dishes on the table. Barbara comes home and sees them. She tightens her jaw in anger. The two of them then get into a huge quarrel.

Is Barbara mad because of the dishes, or is something deeper happening? My position is a simple one: when suddenly the issue isn't the issue with a wife, and her spirit deflates, the husband needs to look deeper to determine if his wife feels he is coming across to her in an unloving manner.

Read More
During Tough Financial Times

Cal Rychener, the pastor of Northwoods Community Church in Peoria, Illinois, shared this poignant memory with me. “I remember a situation from 1979. I was home for Christmas from college and one afternoon when just my mom, dad, and I were home for lunch, I saw my dad at the table with his head down in his arms. That was very unlike him and I said, ‘Dad, what’s the matter?’ He said, ‘I’ve got a $300 fuel bill that I don’t know how I’m going to pay.’

Read More
Too Simplistic In Light of Serious Marital Problems?

A critic states, "Love and respect is too simplistic for couples who have more serious problems." Yes, many couples have serious problems beyond love and respect. However, those serious problems do not justify neglecting love and respect in favor of the alternative: hate and contempt. Not only is hostility and disdain destructive of intimacy, such behavior opposes God's command to love and respect in marriage (Ephesians 5:33).

Read More
Who Is The Primary Provider?

My dad lost his job in his early 50’s. His employer, a railroad company, went against union contract by closing down the terminal and dad found himself unemployed. At that juncture my mom provided the primary income. That arrangement strained the marriage not because mom earned more but because dad felt disrespected when mom would unthinkingly comment about having to earn the money, or she’d spend money independently of dad’s knowledge. And mom felt unloved when dad did not express appreciation for all her work or would explode in anger when she appeared too independent.

Read More

Because of the many financial pressures coming to many good willed couples during this recession, I reflected on the comment that some make that money problems are the cause of divorce. I have never agreed with that comment. Money is a symptom of a deeper issue. Money is not the cause of the divorce.

Let me back up and share with you why I think this way.

Read More