Posts tagged Men
His Big-Man Work Voice

One night as Sarah and I were driving home from a small group Bible study, Sarah expressed some strong feelings that had been building up in her over several weeks.
“You were boring in our Bible study tonight,” she said, almost angrily. “You intimidate people with your silence. And when you do talk, you sometimes say something insensitive. What you said to the new couple came across poorly.”

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The Question Every Husband Must Decode

Growing up I noticed that my dad made a mistake in relationship to my mother. He would get angry and harsh with Mom. It appeared as though he was saying to her, "I'll teach you. I'll get angry in order to teach you to show me more respect. I'll remain embittered until you change. I will be harsh when I feel you are disrespectful."

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Both Men and Women Tend and Mend People With Problems But Start Out Differently! Part 1

A woman tends and mends people with problems. A man tends and mends problems that people have. Both tend and mend. But they start in different places. Allow me to explain.

Gender Traits

Over the years research has repeatedly found masculine and feminine traits that differ.

Generally speaking, women evidence these traits: gentleness, modesty, humility, sacrifice, supportiveness, empathy, compassion, tenderness, cooperative, connectivity, nurturance, intuitiveness, sensitivity, expressiveness, responsiveness, sentimentality, verbal, and unselfishness. I believe most women agree with these qualities about themselves and view these as evidence that they are caring human beings and wish to be loved because of these qualities.

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Did God Create Us Equal, But Different?

This article is part the final part in the “What’s Really Going on Here?” Series. Over the span of six articles, we took a look at twelve different stories and begin to ask ourselves, what is really going on in this story? Is the husband overlooking his wife’s need for love? Is the wife overlooking her husband’s need for respect? How can they ever get off of the Crazy Cycle? Don’t Miss These Other Parts in the Series:

  1. She Needs Love, He Needs Respect

  2. Can Apparent Lack of Love and Respect Offend?

  3. God’s Simple Revelation to Stop the Crazy Cycle

  4. The First Sin after Adam and Eve Sinned

  5. Can We Come Across in a Way that Our Spouse Doesn’t See Our Goodwill?

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Why Do I Rebel Against the Rules of Femininity or Masculinity?

I can't stand rules like being told to be kind, loving, and respectful. I'll be anyway I wish to be! Some rules are more like realities. They are the fixed facts of life that govern the essentials of living. They are immutable. Rebel against them and look like the village idiot. For example, we can rebel against the command of nature to eat, drink, and breathe, but why? Worse than looking like an idiot, we’d simply die. When rules reflect reality, why rebel against them?

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What To Do When Your Husband Is Having an Affair

A woman wrote to me: "My husband has expressed that he does not love me and now is involved with another woman. I have read your book and have applied many things concerning this respect message. For instance, my husband even saved the ‘respect’ letters that I wrote to him. Any suggestions on how long I keep saying this or what else I can do to help him realize that our marriage is worth saving? Right now with him it seems to be hot one day and cold the next. Please help."

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Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? Part I - Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 107

Do husbands have a double standard? Emerson and Jonathan invite you to join them this week and consider one that they have observed. Some wives hear from their husbands, “I can look at women because God designed me to look at the female figure, but you must not look at men.” While the subject of pornography is an important issue this episode is not about that. Instead, this episode looks at husbands who habitually look at women around them.

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When We Address a Man’s Needs - Why Do Some Women Hijack the Discussion? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 074

Some feel that when we talk about what is true of most males we are implying this is untrue of women. When some ladies feel this way, they change the focus to the woman. Why? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss a difficult topic following and expanding upon a recent blog. WARNING: this may be difficult for some to hear and we aren't talking about the volume.

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When We Address a Man’s Needs, Why Do Some Women Hijack the Discussion? Part 2

In part 1, we talked about the tendency some women have to hijack a conversation about men needing respect and making it all about their needs as women. These women are not mean-spirited but they take over the conversation and completely ignore the male’s need. Some recent Facebook interactions I had provide a great example of this.

Last week I posted three articles on Facebook. The first two challenged the husband (reaching together nearly 500,000 people). I titled them:

  - "Should a Husband Submit to His Wife?"

  - "When a Husband Loves His Wife, Will She Respects Him?

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When We Address a Man’s Needs, Why Do Some Women Hijack the Discussion? Part 1

If I say, “Men really like sports,” some women (a small but vocal percentage) retort, “I can’t believe you just said that! Women really like sports, and let me tell you why women like sports. In fact, you need to know about the sports women are playing, why affirmative action supports more women in sports, and why women would have been more interested in sports had this culture been fairer to women years earlier."

In hearing these women express their thoughts, we quickly lose sight of the original statement, “Men really like sports."

It is no longer about the man. It is about the woman.

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Are Men and Women Really That Different? Does That Explain the Craziness?

When a wife complains, “I have nothing to wear,” she means she has nothing new to wear. When a husband complains, “I have nothing to wear,” he means he has nothing clean to wear. In this instance, both say the exact same thing. “I have nothing to wear.” However, both mean something different. Why?

Because this humorous point brings home a simple truth that we too often miss: men and women differ.

She filters her life through her priorities and felt needs as a woman and he filters his world through his priorities and felt needs as a man.

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My Wife Is Leaving Me

This post was also published as a podcast a couple of weeks ago. Check it out HEREWhy does it take the crisis of a wife leaving before a husband awakens to the bad behaviors that caused her to exit? Listen to Greg’s awakening and confession. My wife and I have been separated for 4 months now. I changed into a horrible man after we became married and did not handle many things right. I said many horrible and hurtful things to her and broke her heart. . . . The day she left, I found God. . . . He touched my heart and took my anger, frustration away. I have been working on me ever since to become a better man, better than I was even when we fell in love. She filed for divorce a month ago. I cannot sign the papers. . . . I really need my family back, my marriage and my wife's love again. He humbly confesses the horrible and hurtful things he did to break her heart.

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Men: Can We Be Conscious of Unconscious Mistakes? (Part 2)

Many husbands and fathers have written to me saying, in effect: "Many times I have no idea that I am coming across unlovingly to my wife and daughter. As a man, I learned that I have a tendency to be harsh and angry and communicate with "a look" that can kill or have a tone that slices their hearts when I am tired and frustrated. When I do this, it makes sense to me why my wife and daughter get so hurt and dramatic, and then want to talk to me about how they felt so unloved.

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How To Succeed As A Father: Today Is A New Day!

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” --Winston Churchill (1874-1965), Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Such words take on profound meaning in times of life and death, as they did in the days of World War II. There are lesser battles, yet very real, and there is a battle every parent encounters that tests the heart. Sarah and I can recall many moments when we felt like failures as parents. Looking back on it now, we realize that the failures of the day were not fatal and the successes of tomorrow were not final! We had a decision to make. Would we let defeat defeat us as parents?

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The Spiritual Leadership of a Husband -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 022

Today's godly woman yearns for her husband to be a spiritual leader. The number one complaint among godly wives IS NOT, "My husband isn't treating me equally."  The broader complaint is, "My husband isn't the spiritual leader." Emerson and Jonathan discuss the topic of men being spiritual leaders within the home in this week's episode.

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The Consequences of Anger: Can My Marriage Survive?

Q:  For years my wife told me I needed to get help for my anger, but I didn’t listen. I just got angrier. Finally she gave up and moved out, which opened my eyes. Since then I have gone to counseling and taken an anger management course and I have never felt better in my life. The problem is my wife won’t come home. How do I show her the changes I’ve made in myself when she won’t give me the chance? I have thanked her numerous times for opening my eyes and have begged her for a second chance, but she won’t respond. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

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Two Ways to Get Closer to Your Man

Q:  What do you do when respect doesn’t work? I’ve tried “respecting” my husband so many different ways, but he doesn’t offer love back. He is the silent type and we have no communication. I am tired and lonely. Yes, I have also disrespected him in my attempt to reach him, which I know drives him further away. But I am fed up with living in an empty marriage for 12 years and doing all the emotional work while he does nothing to try to change. Can you help us? Dr. E says:

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The Marriage Conference Men Want To Attend

…a message from Sarah Eggerichs. My favorite part of the Love & Respect Marriage Conference is the opportunity to meet the amazing men and women who attend. I am especially moved by the men who come. Why? Because I see men respond in powerful ways to this message and it always touches my heart. In fact, I want to subtitle it “The marriage conference men want to attend!”

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