Posts tagged Maturity
What Do I Do Now? When Being the Mature One Doesn't Seem to Help

Oftentimes, a husband or wife recognizes where he or she has not been loving or respecting their spouse as they should and honestly seeks to be intentional about getting off the constant Crazy Cycle they feel they have been spinning on for a large part of their marriage. They make significant changes in their previously harsh and unloving tones and words, they pursue peace with their spouse at all times instead of seeking only their own will, and they learn how to better communicate to their spouse’s pink or blue “hearing aids.”

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The Marriage Mindset

Do you believe that if you have natural talents and passions in a specific area then your development of that gifting and pursuits of that interest should be a piece of cake? Or, do you believe that even though you have God-given abilities and deep-seated curiosities, you must exert time and effort because it won’t all be easy street?

For example, Michael Phelps and LeBron James had within their DNA, traits the rest of us envy. Are these superstars world renowned because what they did was a piece of cake for them, as a result of their God-given abilities? Or, though genetically they might be considered freaks of nature, did they work hard at developing their talents?

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Who Moves First?

I have had people say that because in Ephesians 5:33a God first commands the husband to love his wife and then in Ephesians 5:33b God commands the wife to respect her husband, then a wife need only respect her husband AFTER he first loves her. They argue that the husband must move first because he is mentioned first. Do you believe this?

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Who is the Mature One in Your Marriage?

I often challenge couples by saying, “The mature one goes first.” It is much easier to sit back and say, “Well Emerson, I would be more loving if my wife was more respectful!” Or, “Why should I show my husband respect when he is treating me in an unloving way?”  

Of course it is easier to be obedient to God in our marriage when our husband or wife is also being obedient. Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

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Do You BOTH Take Responsibility for the Lack of Love and Respect? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 062

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss how good things happen to a couple when both contend they are the one responsible for the lack of love and respect in the marriage. For instance when both say, “My response is my responsibility and I could have been more loving and respectful even when you were having a bad day,” the nature of the marriage changes for the better—much better.

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One Simple Way to Improve Your Marriage

If I told you one simple thing you could do to improve your marriage, would you do it? As a boy growing up in Peoria, Illinois, I would often ride my bike up and down the street. I can recall one couple I would see often as I rode by. He’d be working under his car in the driveway and she’d be out there sitting on a stool, smoking a cigarette, doing her nails, or just chewing gum. There was no other woman around. He was under the car, and she was saying nothing while he worked.

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Respect During Tough Times

May I speak just to the wives today? In my last blog we discussed what unconditional really means. I know how difficult the concept of unconditional respect is so today I want to share a testimony from a wife who figured this out, with powerful results. This woman’s husband endured an accident that left him unable to work. Within that difficulty, she learned to be sensitive to her husband’s needs; despite what I’m sure was a very hard time for her. I think her story will inspire you as it did me.

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Who Goes First?

Last week I asked the question, “What can husbands and wives do specifically to proactively stay energized in their marriage?” But before I get into the specifics of how to stay on the Energizing Cycle, I need to address two things that prevent most couples from moving from the negative (reactive) to the positive (proactive) in their relationship.

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Because of the many financial pressures coming to many good willed couples during this recession, I reflected on the comment that some make that money problems are the cause of divorce. I have never agreed with that comment. Money is a symptom of a deeper issue. Money is not the cause of the divorce.

Let me back up and share with you why I think this way.

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How To Do An About-face In Your Marriage

When a wife owns up to her failures in the marriage and confesses her disrespect and a husband owns up to his failures in the marriage and confesses his lack of love, the two of them can experience an about-face in the marriage. Couples on the edge of divorce have done a 180!

A wife writes, “My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We started out with two little ones

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Selling Brass Knuckles To Mother Teresa

I love how people apply the Love and Respect message. There is something about this message -- or subpoints of this message -- that bring about life change in people. Sarah and I continue to be overjoyed and grateful to God.

A husband writes, "My church held a conference here in Vancouver BC Canada with your DVDs. Just before that I was having a hard time in my relationship with my wife. Your views on relationships and what God expects of us through Ephesians was astounding.

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