Have you noticed yet that the paradise of Eden still remains in your heart? Have you recognized where the Eden in your heart has affected your relationship with your spouse and your expectations in your marriage? Let me explain.
In the beginning, God created man “in his own image . . . male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27). Then after all of Creation was finished, the passage continues by saying, “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (v. 31).
You will find no better story or example than in the below e-mail to illustrate better the marriage-saving, life-impacting power of learning to love and respect each other according to God’s Word. Stories like these is what motivates us at Love and Respect Ministries to continue plowing forward teaching and sharing God’s not-so-secret “secret” to marriage found in Ephesians 5:33:Read More
We all know that the choices we make today will affect our tomorrow. A little bit of overtime today can give us the money we need for those new shoes at the mall tomorrow. Or eating the extra slice of pound cake before bed might give us a tummy ache in the early morning.
Good or bad, we make our choices and own up to their consequences. What we don’t think about, however, nearly as much as we should is how the choices we make today not only affect our tomorrow, but possibly many others’ tomorrows as well.Read More
I had my thinking challenged years ago when someone asked me, “Emerson, do you want God’s will for your life? Do you want God to work in your life in a powerful way, doing glorious things? Do you want God to really bless you?” I said, “Yes, of course.” The person then said, “Let me ask you another question. If Jesus Christ appeared to you and asked you to do something you didn’t want to do, would you do it?”Read More
Question: How do I convince my husband to go to a Love and Respect conference? He does not want to have anything to do with counseling or marriage help, and we need it desperately.
Answer: You can respectfully ask him (or write in a note) something like this: “Would you be willing to join me in attending the Love and Respect conference, led by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs? Sarah Eggerichs, Emerson’s wife, says, ‘This conference is the conference men want to attend.'“
Turned around from our previous post, how successful is it for a wife to decide, “I am not going to be respectful until he earns my respect. He needs to be more loving like me. Until then, he doesn't deserve my respect. He deserves my disrespect"? A wife cannot be dark-eyed, sour-faced, eye-rolling, finger-scolding, sigh-oriented, and disdain-speaking as ways of arousing her husband's romantic love. She can argue that he ought to respond humbly, with care, and empathetically, but most husbands withdraw and stonewall.
A wife said to me once,Read More
The Sin in All of Us. All of us have within us a flawed character. Jesus called it sin. In fact, Jesus said in Mark 7:21-23, "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man."Read More
This series was also posted as a podcast. Don’t miss last week’s series, “Why do Good Willed Wives Feel Frustrated?“ In part 1 and part 2, we introduced a mom and dad who had strongly different opinions on whether or not their son was ready to drive. We also discussed the inconsistencies found in the good willed and loving mom’s argument that the husband is having trouble getting past. In this last part, let’s get down to exactly what mom and dad are truly feeling and how they can best get through this in a loving and respectful way.Read More
This series was also posted as a podcast. Stay tuned for next week, when we will answer the question “Why do good husbands feel frustrated?”
In part 1 of this series, we introduced the idea of the despotic husband who recognizes that his vulnerable and sensitive wife typically acquiesces to his bully tactics. In part 2, we put a name to those tactics.
Today, we will appeal to the husband to evaluate himself as a man of honor and cease his bullying tactics.Read More
Have you ever had a conversation with your husband that went like one of these? Feeling hurt you say, “You don’t love me. You just want to criticize and punish me." He replies, "That's right! I just want to criticize and punish you!"
After hearing him say this you share with your BFF, “He told me that he just wants to criticize and punish me."
Or maybe during a heated conflict you tell him, “We have problems but you won’t make any attempt to change!" He replies, “That’s right, I won’t make any attempt to change!"
After hearing this, you inform your sisters, “Though I know I need to work on myself, and I am not perfect, he said he won’t make any attempt to change. I am at a loss to know what to do."Read More
Many wives have no idea why their husbands react negatively to their honest comments shared out of true concern. What to her is a caring attempt to offer a suggestion about something he needs to change, which would in fact be helpful to him if he listened to her, ends up hurting him.
What else can she do but judge him as childish for misunderstanding her?
Keg’s Carrot Cake: 2,300 Calories!
However, let’s put the shoe on the other foot. Is she childish and over-personalizing for not appreciating when he blurted out, "You aren't having that dessert, are you? The Keg’s carrot cake a la mode has over 2,300 calories!"Read More
Is the following example a disrespectful wife toward a good-willed husband or a hyper-sensitive husband falsely claiming excessive disrespect from his wife? A wife wrote, "It's mainly the tone of voice I use he says [that is disrespectful]. Or [for example], when we have agreed that the garage needs to be cleaned out but he doesn't make the effort to start the project, so I go in and start it, [and he tells me] that is disrespectful. [Or], he asked me not to trim the bush because he will be filling up the trash can with grass, but I let him know that there won't be much from the bush. He doesn't say anything so I go ahead and trim, then he tells me it is disrespectful to go against him like that.Read More
In the late 1930s, Richard Blaine (played by Humphrey Bogart) falls in love with a beautiful and wonderful woman, Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman ). Ilsa, whose husband had died in a concentration camp, opens her heart to Richard. But their mutual love cannot blossom in Paris where they reside. The Nazis are only a day away from marching into the city of love.
Since both must flee France, they plan to meet the next day at the railroad station. When the morrow comes, Richard waits for Ilsa at the train. But she never arrives. Instead, he receives a handwritten note from her telling him that she loves him but they must never see each other again.Read More
Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss 19 simple, yet sometimes difficult to do, principles from the Love and Respect message. From monitoring your thoughts and feelings in interactions with your spouse, to what to say and do, practicing a few of these can improve your marriage.Read More
I've been married for 5 years now and I wanted to know what I should be doing to ensure that I'll continue to have a great marriage. I know that each relationship is different and unique, but are there any "golden rules" that we should adhere to? I guess this could also apply to relationships for those who aren't married yet.
I rejoice with you over your great marriage. One piece of advice: don't try to fix what isn't broken! Keep doing what you are doing. At the same time, I applaud your desire to ensure the continuation of your great marriage.Read More
In part 1, we discussed the soul-mate idea and nixed the misguided view that God has one and only one person for each of us. The idea of a soul mate distracts people from where they need to focus. [featured-image] First, the focus needs to be on being the right, mature person yourself. This is huge. Some look for the perfect person while they themselves have glaring imperfections but refuse to do an honest assessment of themselves.
They never ask, “Why would a perfect person marry someone as imperfect as me?” But the soul-mate idea makes it easy. “This is about God gifting me with a wonderful person regardless of who I am.”Read More
Typically speaking, most husbands are assured of their wives love. Women are virtuous and excellent caregivers. Because of a wife’s loving and nurturing nature few men have an undercurrent of curiosity and insecurity about a wife’s love. Women love to love, and men know this. However, with many wives there is an undercurrent of curiosity and insecurity that they possess in their souls that their husbands do not possess: “Does he really love me as much as I love him?” Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic. Husbands: If you use this information against your wife, claiming she is hyper-sensitive, and you say it in an unloving way, then you are in the fact the insensitive one.Read More