Posts tagged Male and Female
How Have You and Your Spouse Achieved Win-Win in Your Sexual Intimacy? (Part 1)

In the near future, I will be going deeper on the topic of sex in marriage for all of our Love and Respect friends. The title? Love and Respect (and Sex): Coming Together as Husband and Wife.
Interested in learning more? Would you like to add your stories to the content? Read on, and I’ll show you how.

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Love and Respect in the Face of Male and Female Differences

Based on scripture’s command in Ephesians 5:33 for the husband to love his wife and for the wife to respect her husband, Sarah and I have found two challenges. One, to follow this command unconditionally means we are to love and respect each other even during our male and female differences.

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Does Galatians 3:28 Do Away with Male and Female Distinctions?

In Galatians 3:28, Paul says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Does this word from the apostle do away with male and female differences, such as those that for years I have distinguished as “pink and blue” and “not wrong, just different”? After all, Paul said there is neither male nor female. What else could he have meant, some have asked, if not that there are no distinctions between male and female?

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How Do You Define “Healthy” When It Comes to Relationships?

Have you ever noticed how people seem to have different interpretations of or responses to the word “healthy” as they apply it to different things? Every parent loves to hear the news of their “healthy” baby just born and laid in their arms. But they are certainly under no illusion that their child will never be sick. Yes, their “healthy” child will more than likely even end back up in a hospital again one day from being so sick. Or a “healthy” savings account or 401(k) always lights up the eyes of a hard worker longing for the days of vacation, home renovation, or retirement. But as most people have learned in today’s roller coaster market, there is no guarantee that tomorrow’s balance will be quite as “healthy.” But does that mean we pull all our money out and stash it under our mattress? No, we leave it alone, with faith that the days ahead will once again be “healthy.” And of course they usually are.

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He’s a Problem-Solver, She’s an Empathy-Giver—Neither Wrong, Just Different

Have you noticed that everyday problems and burdens cannot typically be shared, discussed, and dealt with between you and your spouse in the same way that you have handled similar situations all your life with your same-sex friends or siblings? For example, a wife comes to her husband with a problem she faces. His first instinct is to try and solve her problem, just as he would with another man who comes to him with a problem. He kicks into solution mode. Most men operate analytically. This is the way he helps his guy friends, who probably say something to him in response like, “I should have come to you weeks ago. Thanks.” They truly appreciate his recommended solution.

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Are You Mistaking a Crazy Cycle for a Crazy Train?

The Crazy Cycle, as explained in my book Love & Respect, says, “Without love she reacts without respect. Without respect he reacts without love.” If neither husband nor wife is mature and calm enough to recognize this cycle and to step off in order to slow it down, it will only strengthen and keep on spinning. Unfortunately, many couples when in conflict do not recognize that they have stepped onto the Crazy Cycle and nothing begins to simmer down until one of them, typically the husband, storms off and withdraws from the fight, with the attitude to simply “live to fight another day.”

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A Man’s Discovery That Respect Is a Biblical Truth

In Ephesians 5:33, the apostle Paul wrote, “each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” As God does not command things that are unnecessary, we can then infer that a woman has a need to feel loved (which no one ever disputes); but in the same token, we must then conclude that a man has a need to feel respected. And of course, the man’s need for respect has been largely glossed over by many throughout history, including in the church.

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How Do I Ask My Husband if He Prays for Me?

How do I ask my husband if he prays for me? Or should I not ask and hope he does? When a wife asks her husband, “Did you pray for me?” often times she does so in such a way that her husband hears a potential “gotcha” behind this question. Many are leery of why she asks, since he knows he prays less than she does; and he is also very aware of how often he forgets to pray at all, let alone pray for his wife specifically.

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Learn Love and Respect Now . . . Not Later

Over the years, God has used the Love and Respect message to minister to countless couples who had picked up the book or attended a conference, perhaps even as a last-ditch effort, to try and save their marriage. By God’s grace, I have heard story after story from many whose marriages began taking a drastic turn in a positive direction after they learned to submit to God’s message of Love and Respect in Ephesians 5:33.

In the same way, thousands of healthier couples have been introduced to the Love and Respect message and shared with me the multitude of ways that their relationship with their spouse began flourishing even more than they thought possible after being exposed to the joys of Ephesians 5.

But is the Love and Respect message only for the struggling couple or the veteran or newlywed couple looking for some “continuing education”?

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How Are Your Marital Decisions Affecting Your Lineage?

We all know that the choices we make today will affect our tomorrow. A little bit of overtime today can give us the money we need for those new shoes at the mall tomorrow. Or eating the extra slice of pound cake before bed might give us a tummy ache in the early morning.

Good or bad, we make our choices and own up to their consequences. What we don’t think about, however, nearly as much as we should is how the choices we make today not only affect our tomorrow, but possibly many others’ tomorrows as well.

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The Adultery of a Husband Equals the Treason of a General

Sadly, over the years I have received many emails from husbands who have committed the worst of marital offenses—adultery. Fortunately, those writing me are doing so because they have confessed their sins to their wives, as well as to God, have repented of their iniquities, and have recommitted themselves to the sacred vow they had previously made to their wife. However, just because they have made such strides does not mean their wife has accepted them fully back, and they often write me and ask for advice in navigating through this desert of distrust from their wife.

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A Thankful Heart Forgives

Forgiving, as hard as it is, is not an option for the believer. Jesus prayed, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). John made it clear that forgiveness is evidence of God’s work in us. In 1 John 4:19-21, he wrote: “We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.”

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Why Are Some Christians Exiting Marriage Today?

I had my thinking challenged years ago when someone asked me, “Emerson, do you want God’s will for your life? Do you want God to work in your life in a powerful way, doing glorious things? Do you want God to really bless you?” I said, “Yes, of course.” The person then said, “Let me ask you another question. If Jesus Christ appeared to you and asked you to do something you didn’t want to do, would you do it?”

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How Do I Convince My Husband To Go To A Love and Respect Conference?

Question: How do I convince my husband to go to a Love and Respect conference? He does not want to have anything to do with counseling or marriage help, and we need it desperately.
Answer: You can respectfully ask him (or write in a note) something like this: “Would you be willing to join me in attending the Love and Respect conference, led by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs? Sarah Eggerichs, Emerson’s wife, says, ‘This conference is the conference men want to attend.'“

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Are You Married to an Immoral Person or Just Someone with Different Opinions Than You?

As I speak and write about often, there is a distinct pink and blue difference in men and women that God designed in all of us. She views the world through her pink sunglasses, speaks through her pink megaphone, and hears through her pink hearing aids. Which is completely different from how he interprets and communicates through his blue sunglasses, blue megaphone, and blue hearing aids.

This God-designed difference in men and women even extends to how they each are energized in their relationship with their spouse.

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A Wife Respects and then Receives the Love She Desires

Women want to be loved by their husbands. Adored. Desired. Cherished. That should not be a surprise to anyone. You would be hard-pressed to find someone who would dispute a woman’s desire for love. But sadly, just because a woman desires love more than anything else from her husband, and even though he may say that he absolutely adores her with all his heart, that does not mean she always feels loved by him. And not feeling loved by the one she needs to feel loved by the most can cause a significant gap between her and her husband.

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Is It a Stereotype or a Pink and Blue Difference That God Gave Your Spouse?

Some folks resist anything that seems to reinforce a stereotype. Their initial response to stereotypes is usually to defend individualism and claim that such generalities do not define or explain their situations.

How do you feel about stereotypes when it comes to explaining differences between you and your spouse? What if I said that many women see life through pink sunglasses and many men see life through blue sunglasses and these views color what each sees, especially in conflict? Similarly, she wears pink hearing aids and he wears blue hearing aids and each “hears” something different during heated moments in marriage.

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