Posts tagged Love and Respect in the Family
Mothers: Find Comfort in Looking to God

On Mother’s Day, as a mother you can find comfort in looking to God to help you in your parenting.  How reassuring it is for us that Jesus refers to the Holy Spirit as our Helper (John 14:16). I love His description. He is the Helper because we need help. How simple is that? And, it is okay to need help. It is most appropriate to echo the psalmist, "Let Your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen Your precepts” (Psalm 119:173).

Will you ask God to help you because you have chosen to follow the precepts He reveals to you as a parent? 

Read More
How King David and His Wife Got on the Crazy Cycle

Couples in Bible times didn’t use terms like Crazy Cycle, decoding, and air hose, but they still faced the same kind of communication problems people face today. And these women and men had the same basic needs for Love and Respect.

One incident from the life of King David is a classic illustration of how a wife can stomp on her husband’s air hose. When King Saul gave David his daughter Michal to be his wife, the marriage appeared to start out well. First Samuel 18:20 tells us, “Now Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved David.”

Read More
How One Mother’s Respect-Talk Found the Hero in Her Son

In my book Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, I share the need for not only your husband to feel and hear your respect, but your son as well, no matter his age. Even your preschooler has a “man inside the boy” who naturally responds to words of respect, as little Samuel’s mother learned and applied in her relationship with her son. Read about her experience with using Respect-Talk and ask yourself how you might begin applying the same with your son:

Dear Dr. Emerson,

Read More
When Cousins as Adults Need to Confront the Parents Who Aren’t Getting Along

Suppose multiple sets of parents are fighting as brothers and sisters because an inheritance was unevenly divided or something happened that created bitterness among them to the point that they are no longer really talking or spending time together as before.

The adult kids could say:

Read More
What Every Son Needs From His Mother

As I’ve traveled the world over the last two decades exploring the dynamic of healthy family relationships, one thing has become abundantly clear: A boy needs his mother’s respect. Not only her love, but also her respect. That’s the message of my upcoming book, Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, and I believe that it will transform your relationship with your son in ways you’ve only dreamed about. It won’t be because of my writing. In fact, I’ll try hard not to get in the way. It will be because the principle is life-changing in its simplicity, and it cuts straight to the deepest part of a boy’s soul.

Read More
Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues? Part 1

Many of us look at the things in ourselves that we do not like and at the negative reactions from people we do not like, and we wonder, Do these problems exist in my life because of my parents? If they had been better parents, or had treated me better, then surely I’d be a better person with fewer personal and interpersonal problems, right?

First, we see things in ourselves that make us unhappy.

Read More
Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 069

Many of us look at the things in ourselves that we do not like and at the negative reactions from people we do not like, and we wonder, "Do these problems exist in my life because of my parents? If they had been better parents, or had treated me better, then surely I’d be a better person with fewer personal and interpersonal problems, right?" Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important issue.

Read More
How To Effectively Discipline: Teaching Moments and Follow Through

The two boys, ages ten and thirteen, could not stand the wait. The next night they would attend the Detroit Pistons basketball game. Their dad had purchased five tickets on the second row at a fund-raising auction. He and his wife, along with his best friend, would accompany the two boys. In the meantime, the father had requested the boys do several chores the last couple of days, which they had neglected so far. As the boys laid out their Pistons jerseys to wear the next night, the dad reminded them of the three tasks they needed to do. “Yes, Dad, we will do it,” both chimed in.

Read More
What Did We Know about Marriage as a Six-Year-Old but Forgot as an Adult?—Part 1

Have we forgotten what we knew about marriage at age six? We knew that a mommy and daddy ought to be friendly with each other because all mommies and daddies ought to be friends.

We knew that it frightened us when mommy and daddy were unfriendly with each other.

We knew that mommy and daddy obviously liked each other; otherwise they would not have married.

We knew intuitively that when they married, and because they married, they were to love and honor each other, especially in front of us.

No-Fault Divorce Means the Kids Won’t Be Hurt, Right?

Read More
Parenting God's Way, Part 1 -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 067

Hear Emerson speak on the topic of parenting this week.  A powerful two part sermon on why we parent God's way, this topic will be enlightening and freeing to many people.  Whether a parent in crisis, a parent who has it all together right now, a parent with grown children, or someone who is not even a parent yet, this will impact you.

Read More
We Are Thankful For You! The Fall Four

We wanted to share four of our most popular blog posts in recent months, to read for the first time, read again, or share with someone else.

Has a conferenceblog post, or podcast impacted your marriage or family relationships? Please share it with an engaged or married couple that might benefit from this life-changing information!

Read More
Are Men and Women Really That Different? Does That Explain the Craziness?

When a wife complains, “I have nothing to wear,” she means she has nothing new to wear. When a husband complains, “I have nothing to wear,” he means he has nothing clean to wear. In this instance, both say the exact same thing. “I have nothing to wear.” However, both mean something different. Why?

Because this humorous point brings home a simple truth that we too often miss: men and women differ.

She filters her life through her priorities and felt needs as a woman and he filters his world through his priorities and felt needs as a man.

Read More
Do You Get at the Heart of the Matter When Disciplining Your Child?

1 Kings 1:6 reads, "His father had never crossed him at any time by asking, 'Why have you done so?'" A father took away his 16 year old son’s driving privileges for one month for reckless driving.  I asked the dad, “During that month, was your son remorseful and humble?” The dad said, “No. He showed me nothing but anger and disrespect. I didn’t let him drive but he made my life miserable.” The discipline did not fully work because the son’s heart did not change.

Read More
Does a Failing Marriage Hinder One From Having Godly Children?

A mother wrote, "My daughter called and was complaining about her life. I suggested that she needed to look to God for answers. She let me know that she has lost a lot of her faith because of how she has viewed [her dad’s and my] marriage relationship. . . . It grieves me to see how [our marriage] affects our daughters and their relationships because of what they have lived and learned."

A husband shared with me: “I put awful pain in my wife’s heart and never realized what might have been at the core. My actions, my thoughts, and my behaviors are at the core of my problems. Your book, Love and Respect, has opened my eyes. Painfully, our children have suffered from our lack of love and respect."

Read More
One Simple Way to Encourage A Discouraged Child

I entered military school at age 13. But in the first several weeks I became very homesick and wanted to quit. My mom called the commandant for wisdom. Both knew homesickness was common but mom didn’t know what to say.

Colonel Bailey said he’d personally meet with me to encourage me.

How did he encourage me? He told me I was normal and this would soon pass.

Read More
When Parenting: The Punishment Must Fit The Crime, Part 2 - Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 056

Emerson and Jonathan continue the discussion of discipline when parenting in part 2 of this series. In this episode, the unintentionally bad but morally reckless child and the intentionally bad and morally rebellious child are discussed. Through looking at intent and discussing never disciplining above or below the "crime," two difficult categories of discipline are examined.

Read More
Parents: The Punishment Must Fit The Crime, Part 2

In our last blog post, we discussed the how to respond to a child who is socially thoughtless and rude. We also looked at the importance of discerning a child’s intent before enacting discipline. But behind social rules, what about moral laws? What about reckless and even rebellious behavior that seriously hurts people? How is a parent to respond to these?

With regard to moral laws, there are unintentional responses and intentional reactions. In both instances the children do something that is innately wrong. They can be reckless and rebellious.

Read More