Posts tagged Intimacy
His Need for Sexual Intimacy—Not Wrong, Just Different

If there were ever an issue that isn’t really the issue, it is sex. But boy can it become an issue, can’t it? And yet, it’s rarely, if ever, the issue. Allow me to explain. Sex is a shared act, between husband and wife, as an expression of love to each other. God created sex not only as the means for multiplication but as a gift of pleasure to enjoy within the boundaries of marriage. Sex was meant to be a wonderful experience for both husband and wife.

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For Your Spouse, “Cleaving” Probably Means Something Different than What It Means to You

We read in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” It is from this verse that we get the well-known saying that a husband “leaves and cleaves.” But for the husband who interprets this scriptural command to “leave and cleave” and become “one flesh” as purely sexual, I have some disappointing news to share with them. For most wives, cleaving does indeed mean a face-to-face closeness, but not in a sexual way. For her, this face-to-face closeness entails talking about the things that matter to her.

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How to Put Your Christian Wife in Awe of You (Beyond Valentine’s Day!)

Husbands, I know that you love your wife, cherish her beyond measure, and wish every day (and tenfold on Valentine’s Day!) that you could figure out how to better express that to her and in return feel her love and respect for you in all new ways as well. Though we should not dismiss in the least the importance of showing your love to your Valentine through acts like bringing home flowers, surprising her with dinner out, cleaning the house for her, and other ways that express to her that you’re thinking of her and you want to serve her, gaining your wife’s long-term admiration and awe for you is actually much less complicated than finding the perfect combination of small acts of love and service: let her see you become vulnerable and depending completely on Jesus.

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Our Position in Christ, Part 2

I told this story because a while later, I was still struggling with my identity.   Would I be left in the shadows as a nobody compared to all the students who excelled at everything way beyond me? Did I have value? And most of this centered on my relationship to God. Did God really love me? Was I fooling myself about how God felt about me? Was I really a reject in God's eyes as I struggled with my failings and and immaturity? There were times I'd awaken in the middle of the night wondering about how God felt about me. One such time as I laid there it was as though God Himself spoke gently to my heart, "If Evan Welsh, a mere man, could love you that much, would I love you less?"

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Our Position in Christ, Part 1

As a child of God who has confessed your sins and chosen to follow Jesus, have you ever asked yourself what all exactly this means? How did this decision change your identity? How did it change your position, now, here on earth and in eternity? Because of your belief in what Jesus Christ did on the cross for you, it is extremely important that you recognize exactly how God the Father now views you and what this means for you personally.

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In a Time of Trial? This Prayer May Help

The following prayer is for anyone going through deep waters in his or her marriage and needing God’s sustaining love and help. Lord, whether or not my marriage turns around, I know You are using this struggle to reveal more of Yourself to me. I thank You for that because I need You in so many ways right now.

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Different Views on Sex and Parenting: How to Avoid Marital Crisis

Husbands and wives have many hot topics, but not many rate higher than sex and childrearing techniques. Yes, we can throw finances, in-laws, and work issues into the mix, but sex and childrearing are usually right up there for most couples.

A husband wrote:

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Three Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage, Part Two: Finding a Mature Person

In part one, we discussed the importance of your own maturity, if you are to have a successful marriage. But now that you are committed to being a mature person yourself, what does it mean to find a mature person?

The Mythical Perfect Person

There is a difference between finding a mature person and finding a perfect person. The latter does not exist and perchance they did, they’d not give us the time of day. Besides, none of us would want to live with a perfect person. We’d feel judged each and every day. Perfect people have a problem with imperfect people!

So why do some still hunt for the perfect person?

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After an Affair, Is Ongoing Contact with the Other Person Okay?

Emerson, Several months ago, my wife and I had separated. She was involved with someone and had told me it was over, she didn't love me. After a month apart, we were able to get back together. She told him she loved me and that we were going to make our marriage work. The person she became involved with was a co-worker from a job she no longer has, but he has contacted her from time to time for talks.

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Experiencing the Presence of God, Part 2

As we discussed in part one, we can fully devote ourselves to the Lord whether we are celibate and undistracted or married and distracted. The point is simply to draw near to God and begin to experience His awesome presence in your life. When we do, good things happen.

God's Peace

Do you want the peace of God? A wife wrote me,

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My Wife Is Leaving Me

This post was also published as a podcast a couple of weeks ago. Check it out HEREWhy does it take the crisis of a wife leaving before a husband awakens to the bad behaviors that caused her to exit? Listen to Greg’s awakening and confession. My wife and I have been separated for 4 months now. I changed into a horrible man after we became married and did not handle many things right. I said many horrible and hurtful things to her and broke her heart. . . . The day she left, I found God. . . . He touched my heart and took my anger, frustration away. I have been working on me ever since to become a better man, better than I was even when we fell in love. She filed for divorce a month ago. I cannot sign the papers. . . . I really need my family back, my marriage and my wife's love again. He humbly confesses the horrible and hurtful things he did to break her heart.

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Should You Divorce for the Sake of the Kids? Part 1

Over the next two days we will be examining a challenging question. We ask that you are kind and considerate in your responses and read the full post before commenting. I cannot count the number of times I have heard people say, “We are divorcing for the sake of the kids. You know how it is, we fight and argue way too much, and it is not good for the kids. There’s no physical abuse, we just don’t get along. We are tired of constantly bickering with each other. It is taking a toll on the kids that isn’t worth it anymore. We need to end this marriage so the kids don’t suffer."

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Tuesday Night Is Coming, Part 2: A Good Woman's View of Sex -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 039

As a sequel to a very popular podcast, “Tuesday Night Is Coming,” Emerson and Jonathan discuss a powerful and insightful email from a woman who details the way many wives feel about sex in relationship to their husband. Both husbands and wives will appreciate this episode.

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Tuesday Night is Coming, So Who Decides About Sexual Intimacy? -- Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 033

“But if you should marry…such will have trouble in this life…” (1 Corinthians 7:28). Scripture teaches there will be trouble in marriage. Get ready for it!

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss preferences and needs around the issue of sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

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Too Simplistic In Light of Serious Marital Problems?

A critic states, "Love and respect is too simplistic for couples who have more serious problems." Yes, many couples have serious problems beyond love and respect. However, those serious problems do not justify neglecting love and respect in favor of the alternative: hate and contempt. Not only is hostility and disdain destructive of intimacy, such behavior opposes God's command to love and respect in marriage (Ephesians 5:33).

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Sex And Respect

Who has not seen a Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra commercials? What’s going on with men that they feel they need a medicinal boost to their sex drive and performance?

Because of these commercials and the emails I receive from wives, apparently many wives are feeling deprived of sex from their husbands. As much as I point out that most husbands have sexual needs to which wives should respond, Biblically we read, “A husband should satisfy his wife's sexual needs…” (1 Corinthians 7:3 NIrV). Paul then says, “So don't refuse sex to each other” (7:5 CEV). In other words, wives need sex too!

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