If there were ever an issue that isn’t really the issue, it is sex. But boy can it become an issue, can’t it? And yet, it’s rarely, if ever, the issue. Allow me to explain. Sex is a shared act, between husband and wife, as an expression of love to each other. God created sex not only as the means for multiplication but as a gift of pleasure to enjoy within the boundaries of marriage. Sex was meant to be a wonderful experience for both husband and wife.Read More
We read in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” It is from this verse that we get the well-known saying that a husband “leaves and cleaves.” But for the husband who interprets this scriptural command to “leave and cleave” and become “one flesh” as purely sexual, I have some disappointing news to share with them. For most wives, cleaving does indeed mean a face-to-face closeness, but not in a sexual way. For her, this face-to-face closeness entails talking about the things that matter to her.Read More
Husbands, I know that you love your wife, cherish her beyond measure, and wish every day (and tenfold on Valentine’s Day!) that you could figure out how to better express that to her and in return feel her love and respect for you in all new ways as well. Though we should not dismiss in the least the importance of showing your love to your Valentine through acts like bringing home flowers, surprising her with dinner out, cleaning the house for her, and other ways that express to her that you’re thinking of her and you want to serve her, gaining your wife’s long-term admiration and awe for you is actually much less complicated than finding the perfect combination of small acts of love and service: let her see you become vulnerable and depending completely on Jesus.Read More
I told this story because a while later, I was still struggling with my identity. Would I be left in the shadows as a nobody compared to all the students who excelled at everything way beyond me? Did I have value? And most of this centered on my relationship to God. Did God really love me? Was I fooling myself about how God felt about me? Was I really a reject in God's eyes as I struggled with my failings and and immaturity? There were times I'd awaken in the middle of the night wondering about how God felt about me. One such time as I laid there it was as though God Himself spoke gently to my heart, "If Evan Welsh, a mere man, could love you that much, would I love you less?"Read More
As a child of God who has confessed your sins and chosen to follow Jesus, have you ever asked yourself what all exactly this means? How did this decision change your identity? How did it change your position, now, here on earth and in eternity? Because of your belief in what Jesus Christ did on the cross for you, it is extremely important that you recognize exactly how God the Father now views you and what this means for you personally.Read More
The following prayer is for anyone going through deep waters in his or her marriage and needing God’s sustaining love and help. Lord, whether or not my marriage turns around, I know You are using this struggle to reveal more of Yourself to me. I thank You for that because I need You in so many ways right now.Read More
In part one, we discussed the importance of your own maturity, if you are to have a successful marriage. But now that you are committed to being a mature person yourself, what does it mean to find a mature person?
The Mythical Perfect Person
There is a difference between finding a mature person and finding a perfect person. The latter does not exist and perchance they did, they’d not give us the time of day. Besides, none of us would want to live with a perfect person. We’d feel judged each and every day. Perfect people have a problem with imperfect people!
So why do some still hunt for the perfect person?Read More
Emerson, Several months ago, my wife and I had separated. She was involved with someone and had told me it was over, she didn't love me. After a month apart, we were able to get back together. She told him she loved me and that we were going to make our marriage work. The person she became involved with was a co-worker from a job she no longer has, but he has contacted her from time to time for talks.Read More
As we discussed in part one, we can fully devote ourselves to the Lord whether we are celibate and undistracted or married and distracted. The point is simply to draw near to God and begin to experience His awesome presence in your life. When we do, good things happen.
Do you want the peace of God? A wife wrote me,Read More
This post was also published as a podcast a couple of weeks ago. Check it out HERE. Why does it take the crisis of a wife leaving before a husband awakens to the bad behaviors that caused her to exit? Listen to Greg’s awakening and confession. My wife and I have been separated for 4 months now. I changed into a horrible man after we became married and did not handle many things right. I said many horrible and hurtful things to her and broke her heart. . . . The day she left, I found God. . . . He touched my heart and took my anger, frustration away. I have been working on me ever since to become a better man, better than I was even when we fell in love. She filed for divorce a month ago. I cannot sign the papers. . . . I really need my family back, my marriage and my wife's love again. He humbly confesses the horrible and hurtful things he did to break her heart.Read More
Over the next two days we will be examining a challenging question. We ask that you are kind and considerate in your responses and read the full post before commenting. I cannot count the number of times I have heard people say, “We are divorcing for the sake of the kids. You know how it is, we fight and argue way too much, and it is not good for the kids. There’s no physical abuse, we just don’t get along. We are tired of constantly bickering with each other. It is taking a toll on the kids that isn’t worth it anymore. We need to end this marriage so the kids don’t suffer."Read More
“But if you should marry…such will have trouble in this life…” (1 Corinthians 7:28). Scripture teaches there will be trouble in marriage. Get ready for it!
In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss preferences and needs around the issue of sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.Read More
A critic states, "Love and respect is too simplistic for couples who have more serious problems." Yes, many couples have serious problems beyond love and respect.Read More
In my last blog, I encouraged women to study male friendship and to reach out to their husbands through “shoulder to shoulder” activity.Read More
A critic states, "Love and respect is too simplistic for couples who have more serious problems." Yes, many couples have serious problems beyond love and respect. However, those serious problems do not justify neglecting love and respect in favor of the alternative: hate and contempt. Not only is hostility and disdain destructive of intimacy, such behavior opposes God's command to love and respect in marriage (Ephesians 5:33).Read More
Who has not seen a Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra commercials? What’s going on with men that they feel they need a medicinal boost to their sex drive and performance?
Because of these commercials and the emails I receive from wives, apparently many wives are feeling deprived of sex from their husbands. As much as I point out that most husbands have sexual needs to which wives should respond, Biblically we read, “A husband should satisfy his wife's sexual needs…” (1 Corinthians 7:3 NIrV). Paul then says, “So don't refuse sex to each other” (7:5 CEV). In other words, wives need sex too!