Posts tagged Differences
Your Spouse’s Weaknesses Call for Your Sympathy, Not Your Condemnation

Does weakness equal unrighteousness? More specifically, though your spouse may disappoint you by failing to be the person you want or need them to be—revealing their weakness—does that mean they are actually sinning against you—revealing morally objectionable behavior?

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Ask a Different Question: How (Bad) Good Is Your Marriage?

How bad is your marriage? What bothers you at this very moment concerning your spouse? Is your husband stonewalling you? Is your wife complaining far too much? Is the reverse true?

Do you want your husband to be more romantic? Do you wish your wife would desire to be sexually intimate with you more often than she normally does? Is the reverse true?

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She Wants Him to Lead, So Why Doesn’t He?

Even though men and women are equal in the eyes of God, Scripture is clear that God has charged men with being the family’s spiritual leader (1 Corinthians 11:3; 1 Peter 3:1; Ephesians 5:22). I have found among most wives who follow Christ that not only do they not resist this biblical mandate but they actually hold a deep desire for their husbands to be the spiritual leader.  

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He’s a Problem-Solver, She’s an Empathy-Giver—Neither Wrong, Just Different

Have you noticed that everyday problems and burdens cannot typically be shared, discussed, and dealt with between you and your spouse in the same way that you have handled similar situations all your life with your same-sex friends or siblings? For example, a wife comes to her husband with a problem she faces. His first instinct is to try and solve her problem, just as he would with another man who comes to him with a problem. He kicks into solution mode. Most men operate analytically. This is the way he helps his guy friends, who probably say something to him in response like, “I should have come to you weeks ago. Thanks.” They truly appreciate his recommended solution.

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Is It a Stereotype or a Pink and Blue Difference That God Gave Your Spouse?

Some folks resist anything that seems to reinforce a stereotype. Their initial response to stereotypes is usually to defend individualism and claim that such generalities do not define or explain their situations.

How do you feel about stereotypes when it comes to explaining differences between you and your spouse? What if I said that many women see life through pink sunglasses and many men see life through blue sunglasses and these views color what each sees, especially in conflict? Similarly, she wears pink hearing aids and he wears blue hearing aids and each “hears” something different during heated moments in marriage.

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Did God Create Us Equal, But Different?

This article is part the final part in the “What’s Really Going on Here?” Series. Over the span of six articles, we took a look at twelve different stories and begin to ask ourselves, what is really going on in this story? Is the husband overlooking his wife’s need for love? Is the wife overlooking her husband’s need for respect? How can they ever get off of the Crazy Cycle? Don’t Miss These Other Parts in the Series:

  1. She Needs Love, He Needs Respect

  2. Can Apparent Lack of Love and Respect Offend?

  3. God’s Simple Revelation to Stop the Crazy Cycle

  4. The First Sin after Adam and Eve Sinned

  5. Can We Come Across in a Way that Our Spouse Doesn’t See Our Goodwill?

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Understanding Your Motivation in Your Marriage, Part 3: Three Important Areas To Consider

Part 1 and Part 2 discussed and showed you that: - A wife must guard against judging her husband because he does not respond like she would respond. - A husband must guard against judging his wife because she does not respond like he would respond. So how do you apply this in healing your marriage?

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Understanding Your Motivation in Your Marriage, Part 2: Moving Forward

Part 1 showed us how blaming the spouse and negative profiling do not heal a marriage. It does not solve the problem. What should you do with a disrespectful wife?

How do you handle an unloving husband?

Moving Forward

I have learned that spouses who move forward to heal the marriage do not habitually and negatively profile.  

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I Want to Tell My Spouse They’re Wrong, But How? Part 2

As we discussed in Part 1, the Bible says, “Speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another” (Ephesians 4:25). So how should you approach your spouse with the truth about something you believe they need to hear?

Always see your mate as an ally.

Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy.

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I Want to Tell My Spouse They’re Wrong, But How? Part 1

The Bible says in Ephesians 4:25, “Speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” Obviously, Paul intended the married to apply this, as well. A few verses later he talks to husbands and wives. He expected couples to heed his counsel.

So what does it mean to speak the truth to a spouse?

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Pink and Blue: Not Wrong, Just Different! [Video]

One of the most powerful and eye-opening concepts in the Love and Respect approach to marriage is the difference between pink and blue. We aren’t talking about how to decorate a nursery here.

We are simply pointing out how God made men and women as different as the colors pink and blue.

The analogy is simple: a woman looks at the world through pink sunglasses and it colors all she sees; a man looks at the world through blue sunglasses and it color all he sees.

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As We Attack Debt Do We Attack Each Other? [Video]

Jason and Tracy, who live in Chattanooga, Tennessee, both felt the pressure to get out of $15,000 credit card debt - a debt that had them in a chokehold. THEY DECIDE TO BUDGET

Learning of Dave Ramsey’s brilliant and simple system to take baby steps to get out of debt, they decided five months ago to budget.

Their goal: pay off the debt from the credit cards and then visit Dave Ramsey’s headquarters in Nashville to cut up all credit cards in a glorious celebration, joining the tens of thousands before them.

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Where Is My Prince Charming?

Thanks to Hollywood movies, cartoons, and romance novels women grow up with an expectation that they will be rescued by Prince Charming. Elizabeth wrote us about her disappointment that her husband was not her knight in shining armor, yet her need for one was very real.

Unrealistic Desires

Every woman has a desire for the Cinderella theory, but then they learn to accept that it is just a fantasy. They decide that their desire is unrealistic and must be buried and forgotten.

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I Hate the Gender Stereotype of Pink and Blue!! [Video]

“Emerson, I hate your use of Pink and Blue. You stereotype each gender when you refer to wives looking through pink sunglasses and husbands wearing blue hearing aids! Why do you do this?"

My Mom

My mom had three businesses. She taught thousands of kids to swim, dance, and learn their ABC’s at her pre-school. In those settings she would say to an expectant mother, “Think pink but blue will do.”

My mom put this analogy in my brain.

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I Made a Mistake In Marrying This Person! [Video]

Over the years I have heard people exclaim, “I made a mistake in marrying this person.” “Why?” I ask. They reply, "Because we can never agree on much at all. One of us wants this and the other wants that. Tension arises every day. I am sick and tired of bucking heads. I should never have married this person." Ever feel this way? I invite you to mull over a couple truths from the Bible. Based on these Scriptures I find it unlikely that you made a mistake!

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Not Wrong – Just Different!

As a wife, you notice a man and a woman walking hand in hand. You see a couple sitting together in the park, talking face to face on a bench. You beam all the way through your friend's wedding. As you pass the hospital, you see new parents coming from the maternity ward, and your mind races back to the birth of your child and what you felt as a couple.

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