I believe a husband is to act lovingly whether or not he feels it. God’s command in Ephesians 5:33 for a husband to love his wife is to be followed as an act of obedience, not as a conditional response toward her respect for him.Read More
How bad is your marriage? What bothers you at this very moment concerning your spouse? Is your husband stonewalling you? Is your wife complaining far too much? Is the reverse true?
Do you want your husband to be more romantic? Do you wish your wife would desire to be sexually intimate with you more often than she normally does? Is the reverse true?Read More
Even though men and women are equal in the eyes of God, Scripture is clear that God has charged men with being the family’s spiritual leader (1 Corinthians 11:3; 1 Peter 3:1; Ephesians 5:22). I have found among most wives who follow Christ that not only do they not resist this biblical mandate but they actually hold a deep desire for their husbands to be the spiritual leader.Read More
Have you noticed that everyday problems and burdens cannot typically be shared, discussed, and dealt with between you and your spouse in the same way that you have handled similar situations all your life with your same-sex friends or siblings? For example, a wife comes to her husband with a problem she faces. His first instinct is to try and solve her problem, just as he would with another man who comes to him with a problem. He kicks into solution mode. Most men operate analytically. This is the way he helps his guy friends, who probably say something to him in response like, “I should have come to you weeks ago. Thanks.” They truly appreciate his recommended solution.Read More
Some folks resist anything that seems to reinforce a stereotype. Their initial response to stereotypes is usually to defend individualism and claim that such generalities do not define or explain their situations.
How do you feel about stereotypes when it comes to explaining differences between you and your spouse? What if I said that many women see life through pink sunglasses and many men see life through blue sunglasses and these views color what each sees, especially in conflict? Similarly, she wears pink hearing aids and he wears blue hearing aids and each “hears” something different during heated moments in marriage.Read More
This article is part the final part in the “What’s Really Going on Here?” Series. Over the span of six articles, we took a look at twelve different stories and begin to ask ourselves, what is really going on in this story? Is the husband overlooking his wife’s need for love? Is the wife overlooking her husband’s need for respect? How can they ever get off of the Crazy Cycle? Don’t Miss These Other Parts in the Series:
She prefers white carpet in the bedroom and he prefers dark brown. This is not a moral issue but a preference issue. A moral issue is when one of them chooses to steal the carpet from the retailer and demands the other go along with their plan. As for preferences, God designed us to enjoy differing tastes.Read More
Part 1 and Part 2 discussed and showed you that: - A wife must guard against judging her husband because he does not respond like she would respond. - A husband must guard against judging his wife because she does not respond like he would respond. So how do you apply this in healing your marriage?Read More
Part 1 showed us how blaming the spouse and negative profiling do not heal a marriage. It does not solve the problem. What should you do with a disrespectful wife?
How do you handle an unloving husband?
I have learned that spouses who move forward to heal the marriage do not habitually and negatively profile.Read More
As we discussed in Part 1, the Bible says, “Speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another” (Ephesians 4:25). So how should you approach your spouse with the truth about something you believe they need to hear?
Always see your mate as an ally.
Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy.Read More
The Bible says in Ephesians 4:25, “Speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” Obviously, Paul intended the married to apply this, as well. A few verses later he talks to husbands and wives. He expected couples to heed his counsel.
So what does it mean to speak the truth to a spouse?Read More
One of the most powerful and eye-opening concepts in the Love and Respect approach to marriage is the difference between pink and blue. We aren’t talking about how to decorate a nursery here.
We are simply pointing out how God made men and women as different as the colors pink and blue.
The analogy is simple: a woman looks at the world through pink sunglasses and it colors all she sees; a man looks at the world through blue sunglasses and it color all he sees.Read More
Jason and Tracy, who live in Chattanooga, Tennessee, both felt the pressure to get out of $15,000 credit card debt - a debt that had them in a chokehold. THEY DECIDE TO BUDGET
Learning of Dave Ramsey’s brilliant and simple system to take baby steps to get out of debt, they decided five months ago to budget.
Their goal: pay off the debt from the credit cards and then visit Dave Ramsey’s headquarters in Nashville to cut up all credit cards in a glorious celebration, joining the tens of thousands before them.Read More
Thanks to Hollywood movies, cartoons, and romance novels women grow up with an expectation that they will be rescued by Prince Charming. Elizabeth wrote us about her disappointment that her husband was not her knight in shining armor, yet her need for one was very real.
Every woman has a desire for the Cinderella theory, but then they learn to accept that it is just a fantasy. They decide that their desire is unrealistic and must be buried and forgotten.Read More
“Emerson, I hate your use of Pink and Blue. You stereotype each gender when you refer to wives looking through pink sunglasses and husbands wearing blue hearing aids! Why do you do this?"
My mom had three businesses. She taught thousands of kids to swim, dance, and learn their ABC’s at her pre-school. In those settings she would say to an expectant mother, “Think pink but blue will do.”
My mom put this analogy in my brain.Read More
Over the years I have heard people exclaim, “I made a mistake in marrying this person.” “Why?” I ask. They reply, "Because we can never agree on much at all. One of us wants this and the other wants that. Tension arises every day. I am sick and tired of bucking heads. I should never have married this person." Ever feel this way? I invite you to mull over a couple truths from the Bible. Based on these Scriptures I find it unlikely that you made a mistake!Read More
As a wife, you notice a man and a woman walking hand in hand. You see a couple sitting together in the park, talking face to face on a bench. You beam all the way through your friend's wedding. As you pass the hospital, you see new parents coming from the maternity ward, and your mind races back to the birth of your child and what you felt as a couple.Read More
Happily ever after…That’s what we hope marriage will be on that long-anticipated day when we walk down the aisle. But it doesn’t take most of us long to figure out that’s a myth.Read More